


Royal Blood

by lowlights



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, First Love, Love Triangles, M/M, OR IS IT??, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff, Pining, Prince Phil, Rebellion, Stable Boy Dan, Strangers to Lovers, Unrequited Love, obviously not this is fanfiction, shifting pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:45:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 49,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowlights/pseuds/lowlights
Summary: When the royal family figures out that one of their mistreated servants, Dan, has royal blood, they quickly marry him off to their youngest son, Phil, to keep him quiet. As Dan is drawn further into the royal world, he finds himself falling for two princes at once, and into an underground plot of rebellion against the royals.





	1. Royal Slave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yeah i know this is starting on a saturday but it's actually a wednesday update sorry thats confusing

Dan Howell lives on a magnificent, sprawling estate with a marble castle and high turrets that fly brightly colored flags. The landscape of lush, rolling hills sprawls out as far as the eye can see, and perfectly brushed stallions gallop across it. Sparkling lakes, tall trees, and exotic flowers make their home here as well.

The only problem is that Dan Howell is not a king, nor a prince, nor a duke.

Dan Howell is a royal slave. Every day, at the crack of dawn, he wakes up and goes immediately to tend to the horses in the stables, brushing them and bathing them and cleaning their stalls. He lets them out to graze, then cleans and sharpens their hooves, making sure that their coats still sparkle in the sunlight. He spends all his time with the horses in the stables, braiding their manes and slipping them treats. He loves his horses, he's given them all names and talks to them sometimes when he feels lonely. 

He has nobody else to talk to. 

He would be fine if his job was just caring for the horses and making sure they looked their best. But no, Dan also has to deal with their owners as well. All royals, dukes and duchesses, and barons and countesses, even, on occasion, the king and the queen and their two sons. 

Some royalty may be nice, he supposes, but not this family. They treat their servants like dirt. Whenever Dan is around them, he feels beneath them, beneath _everyone_. They make fun of his servitude, they scold him for not sharpening the horses hooves to a point, they sometimes even lay their hands on him and push him and hit him and call him a useless fool. 

If people tell you something enough times, you start to believe it.

So Dan just brushes the horses and speaks to them softly and apologizes that they are so mistreated. Sometimes after they return from a ride, he has to bandage their legs, or wash blood off their sides, and he can't do this without crying. Who could be so awful as to hurt these magnificent creatures?

The same people who could be so awful as to hurt him. And to hurt every other servant in the castle. 

 

Dan is behind schedule. He has Count Victor coming in to collect his black stallion in two hours, and he hasn't even started brushing the horse's right side. This is particularly awful, in fact, because Dan knows that Count Victor is one of the harsher royals. He can clearly remember being pushed into the mud multiple times by the man, and he was no rush to repeat history. The horse is particularly fidgety today as well, shaking and whinnying as though he can sense that he will be taken for a ride this afternoon.

"Calm down, Aden, calm down. Ssh, let me brush you, let me brush you, that's it..." Dan coos to the horse, calming him down enough to finish brushing his left side. He moves his stool around, careful not to mess up the braids in his mane, and keeps talking to him quietly as he brushes. 

Just as everything seems to be going right, and he only has a couple more brushstrokes to go, another horse kicks over a bucket of feed in the corner of her stall. Aden, already on edge, whinnies and rapidly backs up into the back of the stall, frantically moving against the wall.

"No, no, Aden!" Dan leaps off his stool and goes over to grab the horse by the reins.

"Ssh, it's okay. It's okay." He speaks in his calming voice again, moving his hand up and down Aden's sides as he speaks. 

Finally, the stallion stops braying and allows himself to be calmed. 

As Dan leads him back over to the middle of the stall, he notices that all his brushing has been undone. There are bits of hay and dirt all through the horses mane and body. Dan cries out, knowing that he will never be able to finish in time for the count's visit. He can already feel his muscles aching from being thrown to the ground by the man. 

He sits back on the stool, his hands trembling, and tries to get back to work. Tears start filling up his eyes, and he shivers a bit as he tries to keep his brushstrokes even and rehearses what he will say to Victor in his head. 

He hears the door to the stables creak open, and immediately he's filled with dread. If the Count decided to show up early he would truly be done for. But no, it's another boy, around his age or maybe a little older, that Dan has never seen before. The boy has thick brown hair and piercing blue eyes, and he wears a confident smile on his face until he sees the tear tracks on Dan's.

"Oh! What's wrong?" He says, his voice low and concerned.  
"N-nothing. I'm fine. Who are you? You can't be in these stables without explicit permission!"

The boy looks confused for a moment, then breaks out into a confident grin, standing up a little taller.

"My name's Cade. Perhaps you've heard of me?"

Cade? The name does sound vaguely familiar, though Dan can't put his finger on it. 

"No. No clue. Like I said, you'll have to get out unless you have something that proves you're allowed in here."

The boy laughs out loud, but makes no move to leave. 

"Well, what are you doing?" He saids instead.

"Uh... I'm brushing this horse." Dan replies.

"Why are you crying?"

"Doesn't matter." 

Dan looks up and meets the boy's bright blue eyes. He seems genuinely concerned, for some reason, about Dan's health and well-being, which is something that has never happened before. 

"Yeah it does," he replies, walking closer to where Dan stands. 

"It's nothing, just... I'm supposed to have this horse brushed in an hour and... I can't do it. And I'm going to be in so much trouble."  
"Why would you be in trouble?"  
"Because.. I didn't do something that a royal asked me too!"  
"Is that how it works?"

Dan cocks his head again, looking at the boy in confusion.

"Yeah, I'm a servant. I thought you were, too."  
"Nope."  
"So what are you then?"  
"I told you, I'm Cade. And don't worry about the whole brushing thing. I can get you out of trouble."

And with that the boy leaves, smiling one last time before he disappears from sight.

How odd, Dan thinks. 

Back to brushing. 

He barely has one side down when the Count strolls in, and Dan instinctively squeezes his eyes shut as he waits to be abused. 

"My horse looks a mess! What have you done, boy?"  
"N-nothing. I had him all brushed, then he got scared and backed up into the wall..."  
"Well, you should have had the wall cleaned as well!"  
"Y-yes sir. I'm sorry, sir."  
"I'll be back tomorrow, boy, and I want everything to look perfect. Spotless. Pristine. Do you understand?"  
"Yes sir."  
"See you then."

The Count leaves Dan alone with his thoughts. There is no way the Count would have let him go with a pardon. The man is much too cruel, and takes every chance he can get to abuse those lower than him. So... it must have been that boy, Cade or whatever his name was. He promised that he would get Dan out of trouble, and he did... 

How did he manage it?

Dan shakes his head, clearing his mind, and begins to re-braid Aden's mane and quietly talk to him about the day. 

*******

The king and the queen are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their sons in the throne room. They have been traveling all over, to every kingdom in the land, trying to find the perfect match for their perfect prince.

Well, the perfect match to gain as much political power as they can. 

Marriage isn't about love. It's solely a business deal, and there is nobody who is better at business than the king and the queen. They've managed to secure a match for their pride and joy, their eldest son, with the eldest daughter of one of the richest kingdoms to ever exist. Their younger son can choose whichever bride or groom he wishes, as long as it's not bad for public relations. He will never sit atop the throne, and simply put, nobody cares about who he marries as long as he does marry. 

The double doors open, and in walks their pride and joy, bright blue eyes and beautiful brown hair, the oldest prince, the heir to the throne.  
And following meekly behind him, his eyes downcast and his hands retracting into his sleeves, same eyes with shaggy black hair, their youngest. 

"Cade! Philip!" The king booms, smiling at his older son and nodding at his youngest. 

"You may have guessed why we brought you here today. We are happy to report that, after traveling all across the land, we have found a perfect match for you, Cade! And, Philip, we have met many eligible men and women that would be happy to take your hand. You may choose."

The little prince smiles a bit at his father's words. Being the youngest is awful. Second-best, forgotten, not cared about by anyone including his own family. But maybe Phil can find someone who would love him for him. He is allowed to choose, and he is going to choose somebody good. 

Cade holds his head high, politely smiling at both his parents as an invitation to go on. Philip looks down, his feet shuffling. The king sees this. This is not what a leader should look like, he thinks. Good thing his youngest son will not take his place on the throne. 

Philip stares into space, daydreaming as his parents talk about who his brother will be marrying. She seems nice enough, a bit boring. Cade will be alright, Phil thinks. Cade is always alright. Cade is always perfect. He will make a great king someday, and Phil is sure that whoever he marries will make a great queen. Phil is happy to fade away from the public's eye, to marry someone that he loves, to maybe get away from all the problems that his family has caused him. 

"We've made arrangements for your wedding already. Alexandra and her kin will be traveling here in two months to meet you and stay at the castle for a couple of weeks. You will get married by the end of the summer, hopefully on the grounds of the castle. We've talked about--"

Suddenly, the doors burst open again, and this time a slightly ragged looking man bursts through the door. Phil immediately shies away, watching the disturbance with wide eyes. Cade straightens his back and clears his throat, taking a step forward towards the man.

"Excuse me, sir." He says, sounding very astute and powerful. The king looks on at his favorite son with pride in his eyes. 

Sometimes Phil wishes he could be Cade. 

The queen speaks next. "You have no business here. Please, if you serve us, go back to your post at once."

An officer of the Royal Guard rushes into the room next, looking frantic. "Sorry your majesties, I tried to stop him but he was very intent on... Finding you. I will escort him out immediately."

"No," the old man says, determination scrawled all over his features, "I want my son."

"Excuse me?" The queen gasps, taking a step back. 

"Queen Evangeline, a pleasure to see you again." The man says, looking smug.

The king narrows his eyes and tilts his head as he sizes up the man in front of them. Something about him seems... familiar. The blue shades in his eyes, the parting of his hair, the small scar above his right eyebrow. But no, it couldn't be...

"Brother?" The king says, his voice sounding much less strong than he intended.

"It is good to be recognized again. I haven't been in this castle for a long, long time."

The king is horrified. His brother, his older brother, is the rightful king. He would've taken the throne if he hadn't mysteriously disappeared as he was about to come of age. Has he come back to reclaim the kingdom? And what is this about a son?

"Markus... What is your business in my castle?"  
"You'll never learn, will you, George? This isn't your castle. And I could be the king if I wanted."

The king takes a step back to stand at his wife's side, trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Luckily for you, I don't care about the throne. I just want to make sure my son is safe."

Cade, standing by the table in the corner of the room, watches the scene with curiosity. He has vague memories of an uncle, but none are solid in his mind. Cade sees the fear carefully hidden on his father's face. His mother looks confused, scared by the threat to their throne. 

Phil presses his back up against the wall, his eyes wide. Whoever this man is, he has an aura around him, powerful and youthful despite his age. 

"...Your... Son?" The king questions, eyes flitting to the queen for a second then back to his brother. Is it possible... That his wife and his brother had sired a son? His eyes find Philip, pressed up against the wall. Well, that would explain his youngest son's weak nature... But no, his wife would never do something as dumb as that. She is far too cold, calculating, smart, just like the king. She is not driven by passion like his brother. 

"Yes. My son. I was told he was being kept here." Markus crosses his arms across his chest and raises his eyebrows at the king.  
"No, no son of yours is here."

"George... I know my son is here. He's turned eighteen just yesterday. I've come to see him, to make sure he's being treated correctly, because I understand that he is not being upheld as the royal that he is."

"Who is this son you speak of, Markus? Cade and Philip both belong to me, of this I am sure."  
"I don't doubt that. My son. He is working at this castle. I would swear it on my life, brother."

The Royal Guard officer clears his throat and looks towards the king, silently asking if he should escort Markus out of the room. The king shakes his head, stepping forward again to meet his brother's gaze. 

"Surely not."  
"'Tis so, brother, and I wish to see him."  
"But how can I find him if I know not where he is, _who_ he is?"  
"His name is Daniel. I implore you, let me search the castle. I mean no harm."

The queen, the princes, the guard, and his brother look at him expectantly, waiting for his words to move them into action.

"I suppose you may. Officer, take my brother around the castle. Try to go unnoticed. If he hasn't found his son by sundown... He will have to leave."

The officer bows. "It is decidedly so, your majesty."

He takes Markus by the arm, leading him out of the grand room and into the hallway beyond. As the doors shut, the king's stature slumps, and he looks to the queen.

"Worry not, husband. I'm sure his stories are make-believe. Your brother never had a son."  
"Markus kept many things from me, Evangeline. His heart is driven by those trivial things such as love. I do not doubt that his story could be true."

"Philip. You may go. Take with you this list of eligible men and women across the land. It is your choice, son, as long as we approve."

Phil gets up, taking the parchment full of names with shaky hands. He realizes as he leaves the room that he may be holding a piece of his future in his hands. For the first time, he has the upper hand in something, the better deal, the chance to make his life happier. And he will take it. 

*******

Markus isn't sure what drove him back to the castle. He had left ages ago, as soon as he turned nineteen. He wanted no part of the throne, not like his little brother. He didn't want his life to be controlled by business deals and strategic moves. He was not fit to be the king, and the queen that his parents had so diligently picked for him was awful.

His heart belonged to someone else anyway, a servant girl with sparkling brown eyes and long blonde hair. He loved her, and they met in secret almost every night, falling asleep together on the grass and taking a midnight swim and whispering love into each other's ears. 

But she soon fell pregnant, and it was not long until rumors concerning the oldest prince's relationship with her were spread across the castle. Obviously, Markus's parents had been averse to this, ordering that she leave the castle as soon as her baby was born.

Markus still remembers the day that Ruby left. She had pleaded with Markus's family to let her baby stay, to take care of him, and the royals did so out of obligation. The baby would grow up to be nothing more than a servant, and that was all that Ruby could ask for anyway.

Instead of taking the carriage that had been arranged for her departure, she walked away from the castle, barefoot, with her hair down. Markus watched her from his bedroom in the tower, her long hair flying behind her in the wind as she threw her hands up in the air in one final protest. The only thing she took with her was her lockbox, and Markus knew that the only things that were in it were photographs taken late at night in the lake, close ups of his eyes, one picture of her newborn that she was being forced to abandon for his own good. 

She turned back to the castle, blowing a kiss to what seemed like the wind, but Markus thought that she knew he was watching. And as she turned away from the castle for the last time, Markus could feel his heart melt. 

He wandered around in a daze, performing tasks that were asked of him, blank expressions on his face. He would be married next month, his parents informed him, and it was that night that he decided that he could not stand it any longer. He took a change of clothes, a picture of Ruby dancing in the rain, and a picture of his crying child that another servant had secretly handed him as she passed him in the hall. 

Looking at his child brought tears to Markus's eyes. He had already a messy bush of curly brown hair. And his eyes... A perfect replica of Ruby's. 

She had named him Daniel.

He stuffed the pictures deep into his jacket, and he left in the dead of the night, blowing a kiss to the wind as he rode his mare away from the castle. 

He hadn't been back in eighteen years, but it was just last week that he realized that his boy would be turning eighteen soon. If there was ever any reason to go back to the castle, it would be his precious brown-eyed child. All he wanted was for his Daniel to be happy, and he knew that he wouldn't be. 

His curly haired angel would be working his ass off every day for pretentious lords and every day a bit of him would die. If Markus could do anything, he had to. It was only right, like repentance for past crimes, that a servant's son should become a royal. 

He intended to find his child, and would not stop until he did. 

****

The sun sets, and Dan is watching his precious horses grazing. Their perfectly brushed tails flit back and forth as they bend their necks down to eat. His hand rests on Selem's head, and he brushes her mane with his fingers. Everything is peaceful, and Dan can get himself lost in a reality where he doesn't have to wake up early and rebrush all the horses and clean their stalls and wipe the walls. He sits in the grass, watches as Selem flops down next to him. 

Believe what you want, but Dan thinks that his horses are the most loyal creatures on earth. He leans into Selem and breathes in her earthy scent, petting her side and watching the sun trip over the horizon. 

Finally, the sun is barely holding onto the sky, and he begins to bring the horses inside, feeding them, giving them water, kissing them on the nose before he leaves the stables, dirty and tired, still sweating from the heat of the day. 

He begins his short walk back to his hut when he sees two men lost in conversation.

"Sir, the king ordered you to leave after sunset."  
"I'm sorry, officer, but I cannot comply. I need to find my son."  
"We've searched the whole castle..."  
"He's here. I swear it on my life. Please... The boy is all I have left. Just let me search for an hour longer."  
"Sir, I swore to never disobey the king's wishes. I apologize but..."

Dan gets closer to the men as quietly as he can, intrigued by the man who he has never seen around the castle before. 

"I need to escort you out."  
"No! Please, you don't understand... He's all I have. Do you have a son, sir?"  
"No. I have no children."  
"Then you don't know what it's like! Please, I'm begging you..."  
"I'm sorry."

Dan inches closer, his foot brushing a stick aside and accidentally creating a snapping sound. He immediately backs up, afraid of being scolded.

"Hey! Boy! You should be asleep! Why are you out this late?!" The officer catches his eyes and yells at him. Dan can only stutter in response, backing up quickly in case he needs to run. And then the other man turns around.

*****

The moment before is fuzzy in Markus's mind. He only remembers arguing with the officer, then hearing a branch snap and hearing the officer yell at whoever did it.

Then he turned around, and he saw the boy himself. There was no doubt in his mind. He had thick, curly brown hair, and his eyes were a perfect match to Ruby's. This was his son. 

He let out a cry as he reached his arms out to the boy, who shied away.

"That's him! That's him, I'm sure."  
"The stable boy?"  
"Daniel... Daniel, I'm your father."

The boy's eyes widen in shock. "H-how do you know my name?!"

"I'm your father. My name is Markus. I'm the king's brother and I'm your father."  
The sun dropped beyond the horizon line. *****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR READING!!!


	2. Royal Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry this is kind of short, but I have family in town so I didn't have much time to write!
> 
> as for the update schedule, I think I'm going to keep this one updating on Saturday until further notice

Dan stands shell-shocked in the field. He is staring at two well dressed men, both with styled hair and clean clothes. 

One is an officer for the king’s royal guard.

The other, apparently, is his father.

The man who is supposedly his father walks closer to him, his eyes taking in Dan’s face and hair and dirty clothes. There are traces of tears in his eye as he places one hand on Dan’s shoulder. 

“Son…”

Dan wants to shy away. Though they are related, Dan has never even met his father, and it feels awkward to have a stranger this close to him. He shrugs his shoulder a bit, and the man retracts his hand, getting the message. 

"I understand. You don't know me. Well, my name's Markus."  
"I-I'm Dan."  
"Yes, I know that. Your mother loved that name. Daniel."  
"My mother? I've seen pictures of her before..."  
"Yes, Ruby was beautiful, wasn't she? You have her eyes."

Markus smiles at his son, and it seems that this small amount of courtesy and kindness is all it takes to entirely win the trust of the doe-eyed boy. He motions the Royal Guard officer away, and takes a step closer to his son, being over slightly so that they're eye to eye.

"Is it true that you were supposed to be the king?" Dan half-whispers, in awe of the man before him.  
"Yes.... But being royal isn't all it's cracked up to be."  
"At least it's better than... this." Dan motions to his surroundings, looking down at his worn out clothes.  
"Anything is, I imagine. What do you do?"  
"I'm the stable boy. That's the only good thing. The horses."  
"Ah. Ruby loved the horses too. We used to take them and ride them across the grounds at night."

Markus smiles at the memory, and Dan smiles at the thought of it.

"What happened to her? The rest of the servants won't tell me."

The smile fades off Markus's face, replaced by a sad look of longing.

"Well, my parents found out about... us. She was pregnant with you, and after they told her that after she gave birth she would have to leave at once so as not to tarnish the royal name. I left soon after, and I've been looking for her ever since."  
"Ever since? But hasn't it been-"  
"A long time. It's been a long time."

There's a comfortable silence as both the father and his son stare up at the sky.

"Dan?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you show me your horses?"

********

King George and Queen Evangeline are still in the throne room with Cade. 

Nobody says a word, but they don't have to say anything to know that they are thinking abut the same thing. 

If Markus's son really is a servant here... What would they do? Although they like to ignore it, all the royals know just how horribly the servants are treated. They couldn't make him the second prince, despite the fact that he is older than their Philip. Imagine a servant boy being the second heir to the throne! 

In fact, they couldn't make him a prince at all. They would need to keep this whole ordeal a secret, because people would be suspicious. Other kingdoms would have a field day. They would lose countless amounts of power...

Despite his best efforts, the king can't think of a plan besides hoping that Markus is mistaken about the whereabouts of his son. As the sun dips below the horizon, he lets out his breath. 

And he quickly sucks it in again when the double doors open with a bang and the officer he sent out with Markus returns. Alone.

"Your majesties... Sir Markus has found his son."

The King's eyes widen, and he doesn't need to look around to know that both the queen and the prince are feeling the same.

********

Phil lies on his four poster bed, a piece of parchment clutched to his chest and a small smile glowing on his face. Every few seconds he glances down at the paper, shutting his eyes quickly to envision a face. He had met almost everyone on the list, and he is trying to remember what all the princes and princesses are like so that he can choose one to be his forever. 

Once, when Phil and Cade were small children, playing out on the lawn, the king sat down next to them and started talking. He told the boys that if they wanted to be successful and powerful, they had to be driven by power, by glory, by leadership. He told them that they had to have strong voices and stand tall and not show what they were feeling on the inside. "A king," their father said, "must calculate his every move."

Cade watched his father with admiration, nodding along, straightening his back and trying to make his voice loud and deep when he spoke. After all, he would be king someday too, and he wanted to be just like his father. 

Phil didn't want to straighten his back, it hurt his shoulders. And he didn't really understand why his father insisted that they repeat the same four words.

"Strength. Control. Power. Force."

Every day the king said it to his children in hopes that they would learn to crave these four things, so that they would be driven by their strength, always in control, hungering for power, and taking it by force. And maybe it worked, because Cade wanted these things.

But Phil... Maybe Phil took after his uncle. Because while the king chanted his values, Phil was distracted by the honeybees crawling on the flowers, by the puffy clouds in the sky, by the baby horses grazing a couple of fields away.

And maybe that was okay, because Phil will never need strength, control, power, force. He is the second son, the forgotten son. He can choose who he wants. He can be driven by skinny skies and small flowers and sweet love. 

Phil wonders what it will be like to lie in this bed with somebody else. He wonders what they will talk about. He wonders if some nights they will climb down the staircase and go for a secret swim. He wants to find them so badly. 

********

Dan leads his father back towards the stables, neither of them speaking as they step around branches and open the gate. 

He opens the doors, and as soon as he walks in all the horses turn towards him, tossing their manes in confusion.  
He speaks to Markus softly and slowly.

"The white one's Aden. He's always misbehaving. He belongs to Count Victor. And that chestnut one is called Selem. She's old, but she's very sweet. Her owner is Lady Victoria, but she doesn't get ridden much. And this one's called Poppy. I don't know their real names, so I just make them up."

Markus nods, looking around at all the horses. It's beautiful, the bond that Dan shares with them. But at the same time... He wishes that his son had people to talk to other than the horses.

"And that last one... She's called Ruby."

Markus's head snaps up to look at the horse in question. It's almost blonde looking, with it's mane long and unbrushed.

"After... your mom?"  
"Yeah." Dan says, then after a bit of silence, "Are you going to stay here now that you've found me?"  
"Dan... I'm restless, I'm still in love. I have to find her. But I've come back here to make sure that you're safe. And to make sure that you're cared for."  
"The servants care for me. They make sure I'm eating and stuff."

Markus holds back tears and places his head on the boy's shoulders.

"I promise, son, life will be much better from now on."  
"Really?"  
"Really."  
"Okay."

********

Phil only realizes that he's fallen asleep when he awakens to loud knocking on his door. He sits up quickly, shaking his head to kick his hair in place and blinking a couple times to try to get rid of the sleep in his eyes. He sets his paper on the dresser and strides to the door, opening it to find his father, looking slightly haggard and out of breath. 

"Father?"  
"Philip. There has been a change of plans. Please follow me."  
"What are you on about? A change of _what_ plans?"  
"Don't talk back, son, just follow me."

So Phil does, walking quickly next to his father, his head abuzz with what the change to the plans could possibly be, and why they are so drastic that Phil must be called to conference with the rest of the family.

They enter the throne room, and Cade and Queen Evangeline are sat in chairs at the back of the room, locked in quiet conversation. 

The king clears his throat, and they both rise and nod their heads. 

"Mother. Cade. Why have you brought me here?"

The king answers for his wife and son. "You were in this very room when my brother, er, visited us today."  
"...yes?"  
"And it seems that he wasn't mistaken when he says his son is currently living at the castle."  
"And so? Can't he just take his son and go?"  
"Philip, Markus is a lone wolf. He's come here to make sure that his son is doing well, but he will not take him away from this place. Instead, he will ensure that we treat his son like the prince that he is, which we must do without raising suspicions of any kind?"  
"What suspicions?"  
"The son in question is currently our stable boy. I hope I don't have to spell it out for you... If it becomes known that a prince is working in our stables... It would not only be an embarrassment, it would be a threat to our strength and control."  
"Alright, so what are you going to do about the prince?'  
"Well, your brother has made a very well thought out plan. This, we believe, is the only way forward."

Of course Cade had a plan. Phil wouldn't have expected anything less.

"So why do I need to know this plan, then?" Phil asks, anxious to return to his room and his dreams.

"Because you are an integral part of it."

The queen takes over, walking forward as she talks. 

"We have already picked the perfect match for Cade, and we simply cannot let her go. But, Philip, you have not chosen a match yet. And the same year you were born, the prince of Segerdia was kidnapped. Imagine, perhaps, if he was found. Imagine if we recognized his Royal Blood. Imagine if he married our youngest son..."

"You can't be suggesting--"

"Philip, I do not suggest. I command. Your father, brother, and I have all come to this conclusion. The only way forward is for you to marry Markus's son."

Phil stands in shock, his mouth falling open and tears pricking his eyes. But he can't cry, not in front of his parents, so instead he turns and flees the room, letting the double doors slam behind him as he makes his way to the top of the tallest turret where he is sure that nobody will think to look for him.

Once he gets there, he collapses against the stone wall and lets himself break apart as he realizes that the paper full of names on his dresser is simply a paper. Being the second son had only one good thing that came with it, and Phil had lost that too. Just his fucking luck. 

He watches a couple horses making their way back to the stable in the dark, and he curses at the moon for having the nerve to shine so brightly when everything feels dull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> more from me:  
> Extra Ordinary: superhero fic where dan is a villain and kidnaps phil  
> Friends Shouldn't Kiss Me Like You Do: heavy angst with a happy ending (i just finished this a couple weeks ago!!)
> 
> see you next saturday!! <33


	3. Royal Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey cool people congrats on surviving your week!
> 
> i love you all very dearly and hope you enjoy this :))

Dan walks across the gardens in the early morning. If he were here alone, he would stop and marvel at the rare flower species that were being cultivated in spectacular garden beds, he would let his eyes dance over the fountains, he would run his hand over the marble walls. 

But he is not alone. On his right stands his father, the true king, but one that will never take the throne. He slept next to Dan last night, but will have left by this afternoon. Dan thinks him to be a good man. He can't help but have trouble regarding him as his father, however. 

On his left stands an officer of the royal guard, with the task of escorting Dan to the castle, where he will be meeting with the king, the queen, and the two princes. 

He's heard a lot of gossip about them from his fellow servants, and, on occasion, the from the royals coming to pick up their horses in the stables. 

From what he has heard, Queen Evangeline and King George are powerful. There is no better word to describe the essence of them. They exude power, with every step, every word, every tilt of their heads. 

Their first born son, whose name begins with either a K or a C, according to the kitchen servants, is not unlike his parents.But he has another side, a side in which he cares about the very things that make him human. Maybe that's only because those things make him powerful. 

And the third son... Nobody really knew about him. They said he was quiet, that he was afraid of his father and mother, that he had a shock of black hair and, of course, the royal blue eyes. But, unlike he tried to hide them. 

They enter in what the officer calls the side door, into the kitchens. Dan sees many people he knows, and he gives them uncertain smiles and shrugs as he passes them. He does not miss the way their jaws drop when they see Markus, he does not miss the words that they mouth at him. 

But they leave the kitchens, and enter into the the main hall. 

Dan has to stop short and look the wall up and down, breathing in sharply at the grandness of it all. Despite having been here his whole life, he's never entered the castle past the kitchen, and it's better than his wildest dreams. Is this the place where he'll be spending the rest of his life? Part of him hopes so. The other part feels guilty for hoping, because what awful things must be hidden in these walls?

But before he can think, the officer has his hand on Dan's shoulder and is leading farther into the castle, farther into the belly of the beast.

Finally, they reach the end of the hall, where two mahogany double doors stood tall and boastful, with shining gold handles. 

The guard reached for them, and Dan tensed up, instinctively taking a step back and almost bumping into Markus. 

The doors swung open, and Dan caught his first glance of the royal family. 

 

*******

 

When Phil arrived in the Guardroom, his brother and parents were already there. At any other point he may have bowed and apologized, but Phil wasn't quite in the mood to profess any sort of respect to the rest of the royal family. 

He had had one ticket out of this hell dressed like a blessing, and they had cashed it in for him. 

He had had one choice, and they had chosen for him. 

And nothing, nothing, would ever make Phil forgive them. Though he hadn't ever been the perfect child, he had always been respectful. He had always bowed and complied and learned his manners and his steps and smiled his way through every gathering and dance and occasion that his parents had thrown at him. 

And they had treated him like a second rate son, like he wasn't worthy of any sort of respect from them. It was now that Phil realized just how much he meant to them. And that was a very small amount. He was the second son. He was a tool, and that is all he ever would be. 

Instead, he took his place on his throne, trying to stop noticing how small and low to the ground it was. He begrudgingly pulled his hair out of his face after the queen fixed him with a pointed glare. 

In a way, he felt bad for the boy that he was going to have to marry. As soon as he walked through those double doors, he would be hit with four pairs of powerful blue eyes, he would feel small and cowardly staring at these people who were literally sitting on pedestals. 

Strength. Control. Power. Force.

Every move his family made was completely controlled by abstract, immeasurable concepts that they tried desperately to measure. 

Phil was growing tired of it. 

 

And then the doors swung open. An officer walked in, decorated by awards that he probably hadn't won, medals of combat that he probably hadn't even been in, because who in their right minds would send someone that was worth _anything_ when they could just send a worthless servant who may set off a gun and kill a couple enemies before they inevitably die?

"Presenting Lord Markus and his son, Lord.... Daniel."

The officer steps aside, and in walks the same man from the throne room yesterday, an older, wiser looking version of the king.

And behind him... there is the boy. 

Phil strains his eyes to get a good look at the man that he will be expected to spend the rest of forever with.

He has messy, curly brown hair, and big brown eyes. He looks like a doe, thinks Phil, with his hands pressed firmly at his sides as he stares up at the unblinking blue eyes that look back at him. 

His clothes are ragged, with holes and dirt in them, and his face is not the epitome of clean either. 

Phil watches him scan the family, eyes passing over his mother and father and then stopping on Cade, widening.

Well, isn't that just perfect. Even the boy that he's literally fated to marry has love eyes when he looks at the oldest prince. 

"You-" the boy starts, but he's interrupted by King George.

"Hello, Daniel. Let me be the first to welcome you to the castle."

Daniel. That's his name.  
Daniel's eyes flick back to the king, looking slightly annoyed.

"You aren't. Thanks anyway."

The king's eyes widen at Daniel's words. Phil smiles to himself a bit. The boy has spunk, he'll give him that. 

"As you know, my name is George. This is my wife, Evangeline. This is my son, Cade, and my youngest, Phil."  
"I'm Dan." He says back, shrugging and looking around the room again. Phil tracks his emotions from behind his eyes. 

When he looks at the king, Dan seems like he is trying to hold himself back. Phil can't blame him. He himself wants to snap and yell at his father most days, and he sleeps in a suite, not in a stable house.

When he looks at the queen, he is calculating, still deciding what she will be in his mind, but he has already resolved that she is not good.

Anyone who can treat anyone like he has been treated cannot be good. 

When he looks at Cade, he is wondering, thinking, deducing, but he has no bad opinions hidden under his gaze. It _would_ be just Phil's luck for his future husband to fall in love with his absolutely perfect brother, wouldn't it.

And then, for the first time, he makes eye contact with Phil.

Sometimes, maybe, you can't really see someone until they see you. And his eyes were big and innocent and yet mischievous.  
And as soon as he saw Phil see him, a little half smile turned up on his face.  
Part of his hair falls over his face, and he shakes his head a bit in hopes that it will go back to normal.   
He's got streaks of dirt all over this face, but somehow they accentuate his jawline and cheekbones, and god _damn_ his dimples.

Phil feels heat rising to his cheeks as he drinks in the boy in front of him. 

And yet... 

He is afraid. 

Because he knows that no matter what, the two will end up together. 

And he is not charming, he is not beautiful, he is nothing compared to his brother.

He is afraid that he will always want and never be wanted. 

********

Dan hates the king already. He is pompous and rude and everything that a human should not be.  
He doesn't particularly like the queen, either. She is cold, bored, and probably boring.

And then there's Cade. He knew he recognized the boy in the stables from somewhere, and now it was very clear.   
He was tall, tan, muscular, beautiful, with a crooked smile and shiny eyes, not to mention he had gotten Dan out of trouble.

Dan was unsure about the younger son. He looked out of place, his hair darker, his eyes shaded differently, with green mixed in to the blue. He had smiled at Dan, but shyly and uncertainly. 

Dan supposes that he's just shy. 

The king and queen get up, walking up to Dan with fake smiles plastered on their faces, requesting to talk to him privately. 

He would say no if he could, but sadly he's in the presence of blue eyed royalty. 

********

Phil knows exactly what his parents are going to tell the boy.

The exact same thing they had told him last night.

They are going to tell him about their ingenious plan to marry him off to the little prince. And he will have to go along with it... Or he'll be sent right back to the stables as soon as his father leaves. 

Phil wonders what the beautiful boy will think.

 

For his part, Phil thinks about the half smile and deep dimples that grace the boy's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> until next saturday!!
> 
> more from me:  
> (work): extra ordinary- superhero fic where dan is a villain that kidnaps phil  
> (finished): friends shouldn't kiss me like you do- heavy angst w a happy fluffy ending (short chapters so it's a quick read)


	4. Royal Rooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey I'm back! sorry i didn't update last sat., my wifi sucked!!
> 
> quick note: I'm using the word "serve" as a short term for servant,, like something that the royalty would call peasants. If that makes sense...

Dan steps to the side of with the King and the Queen. He can’t help but let his eyes wander around the room, drifting across the grand, gold ceiling, flying up columns and sliding across the long, polished table in the middle of the room.

 

Briefly, he looks at the two princes again. He lets his eyes rest comfortably on Cade, who is impossibly tall and incredibly tan and who wears a self-assured smirk with peircing eyes.  
And then Phil, shorter and paler, his mouth slightly open, his eyes wide. Dan notices that Phil’s eyes are a different shade of blue than his brothers. They are more green, glassy and pure looking. Dan doesn’t know how he would explain them. One of Phil’s strands of hair is out of place, falling down his forehead and tracing his nose. It looks cute in a boyish way.

 

“Ahem. Daniel,” the king says, interrupting Dan’s train of thought.  
“Yes?”  
“I would, again, like to extend my heartiest welcome to the castle. Queen Evangeline and I are truly apologetic for the fact that you haven’t lived here, er, your entire life.”

 

Dan raises his eyebrows, sure that the king would rather he lived in the stables his entire life instead of causing them trouble.

 

“But, as you may have foreseen, we might have some trouble… integrating you here.”

 

The queen interjects.

 

“We’ve devised a plan, in fact, that we think will make it much easier.”

 

The way she smiles makes it clear that Dan does not have a choice in this situation.

 

 

Phil and Cade watch as their parents talk to Dan, not knowing exactly what is being said but knowing what Dan is being informed of.

 

Phil looks straight into Dan’s doe eyes, watching his face react to the different things that his father and mother are saying.

 

Finally, his mother speaks, and Dan’s eyes go wide, wider than they already were, and he takes a step back, his head snapping up to look at Phil. Phil knows exactly what Dan’s been told, and he can only bring himself to stare at the ground, madly wondering what exactly Dan is thinking about the fact that they will have to be married, that he will have to act like a long lost prince, that his very life depends on it.

 

It is very clear what he’s thinking, however, when he backs into a wall, calling out “Fuck!” and staring right at Phil, no, not at Phil, through him, and right out the other side.

 

“Daniel,” the queen begins in a stern, cold voice, “you live in this castle now, and you’ll follow instructions. Otherwise, we can dispose of you easier than you may think.  
Dan’s jaw falls slightly open, his hands shaking at his sides, his eyes bouncing around from the queen to the king, then finally to Phil.

 

His eyes move from Phil’s expensive shoes up his body until they reach his face.

 

They make eye contact for a second, and then Phil looks quickly away.

 

“Fuck this! Markus will kill you if you kill me, you know that?! I can do whatever the fuck I want!”

 

And with that, Dan pushes by the royal family, throws open the doors, and strolls confidently out into the castle.

 

The king and queen turn around in disbelief, looking at each other, calculating the situation in their heads.

 

“Philip,” his father says, “please go after him.”

 

Despite sounding like a request, Phil knows it’s a command.

 

Phil steps down from the stage his throne rests on, striding out into the halls beyond. Dan must have been moving fast, because he is nowhere in the great hall. Phil moves through the castle halls, finally spotting the boy with brown hair sitting outside in one of the many obnoxious, pointless courtyards that nobody uses or plans to use in the future.

 

*

 

Dan is resting under a tree. This plan is absolutely horrific. Working as a royal slave had not been very easy, not at all. The only thing that got him through it at all was his mind. Dan had always been one of those people who could literally get lost in his own train of thought, letting it pull him out of reality until the aching of his muscles and the dirt caked in his hair were just afterthoughts.

 

He had made up many scenarios in his head, ones where he was the king, ones where he was riding the horses across the grounds instead of watching the royalty do so.... But his favorite scene was the one where he sat atop the highest castle turret, looking out across the beautiful landscape, standing next to someone who he loved.

 

He had heard so much about the love that his father and mother had shared from the other servants, and he thought that love sounded like a curiously important thing. Secretly, and he didn't even know it himself, Dan Howell was a romantic. In the back of his mind he had always enjoyed the notion that one day he too would know exactly what it feels like to love and be loved in return.

 

So when the king and queen informed him that he would be forced into marriage with a probably obnoxious prince that he had never met before, he wasn't exactly filled with anxious anticipation.

 

And here he was, sat in some random courtyard under a pathetically short tree, his hand hanging and his eyes analyzing the ground as he tried to recollect himself.

 

"Hey! Stable boy! How'd you get into the castle?!"

 

Dan's eyes snap up and find a young man who looks almost exactly like one of the bishops. Probably his son.

 

"Yeah, you heard me! What are you _doing_ in here?!"

 

At any other time, Dan would have remembered how he has to speak. He would've remembered the proper manners of a servant, and he would have spoken calmly and politely while explaining his situation to the boy in front of him.

 

Unfortunately, Dan was not feeling particularly polite.

 

"None of your business, twat."

 

The boy walks out from underneath the pathway, stepping into the courtyard with intent.

 

"What did you just call me?!"  
"You heard me."  
"Damn right I did, you fucking brat! You're the stable boy, you have no right speaking to royalty like that!"

 

Dan raises his eyebrows, smirking and shrugging.

 

"Just wait until I call my father, you insolent-"  
"Oh, sweet little helpless boy calling for his dad!"

 

This was, obviously, not the right thing to say, as the boy narrowed his eyes and took another step forward.

 

"Oh, you're going to wish you didn't say that to me, you fucking _serve_. You'll wish I called my father when I'm through..."

 

Dan stands up, his head brushing the branches of the tree.

 

"You wouldn't," Dan says, taunting the boy even more.  
The other boy laughs. "Actually," he spits, "I would."

 

*

 

Phil watches in horror as Nathaniel, the bishop's son, draws closer to Dan.

 

Phil knows Nathaniel well, their parents used to dump them together whenever they didn't want to deal with their children. Nathaniel had always been cruel, and Phil had an abundance of memories with him concerning dares that he didn't want to do, stealing money from whomever's room was unlocked, and throwing eggs at the servants who passed through the halls.

 

In short, Phil doesn't like Nathaniel whatsoever, and the boy is capable of doing awful things. Dan should not be taunting him, Dan should dart out of the courtyard and run away as fast as he can, but he will not back down.

 

Phil clutches a column, unable to look away as the two boys draw closer in the courtyard. Nathaniel's face is tight, drawn, merciless. Dan's seems playful, like he doesn't know what he's gotten himself into.

 

"Come on, serve! Too afraid to come closer?"  
"On the contrary, I'm afraid. I'm trying to give you a fair chance."  
"Please! Like you could hurt me! I've seen you, you know. Crying about the stupid fucking horses."

 

Dan's face tightens.  
Nathaniel laughs, glad to have finally gotten a rise out of the other boy.

 

"How pitiful! The only creature that would give you a second glance walks on four legs!"

 

Dan looks down for a split second, his forehead creasing, and Nathaniel takes one step closer and swings.

 

Phil watches Nathaniel's fist connect with Dan's cheek, and the brown-eyed boy takes a step away, instinctively bringing his palm up to his cheek and widening his eyes in surprise.

 

"You don't know what you've gotten yourself into, you fucking serve!" Nathaniel takes another step forward, pressing his sudden advantage, and as Phil sees the growing fear in Dan's eyes, he decides that he needs to do something.

 

"Nathaniel!" He shouts, stepping out into the courtyard.

 

Both boys turn around, startled by Phil's sudden shouts, and their eyes flicker with surprise as they both recognize Phil.

 

"What are you doing here, Philip?" Nathaniel asks, his voice angry but with a flicker of concern in it.  
"What are _you_ doing?"  
"Teaching the stable boy not to mess with royalty! He shouldn't even be in this fucking castle!"  
"Step away from him, Nathaniel."  
"Oh yeah? And why should I?!"  
"Because I'm telling you to."  
"I don't take orders from you."

 

Phil hates pulling the prince card, but he needs to get himself and Dan out of this situation as soon as possible.

 

"Nathaniel. I could _ruin_ you if I wanted to! And I will, if you don't let Daniel go."

 

Nathaniel's eyes narrow with rage, flicking back and forth between Dan and Phil.

 

"How do you know his name?!"  
"It doesn't matter."  
"Did _you_ let him in the castle? Oh, when my father hears about this-"  
"It. Doesn't. Matter. So please, just leave."  
"So you did let him in!"  
"I didn't."  
"Then how is he in here anyway?"

 

Phil really, really doesn't want to tell him anything. But he would rather just get out of the conversation as soon as possible.

 

"Because we're engaged. Now kindly _move. _"__

__

__Nathaniel's eyes widen, and then they narrow and he lets out a shocked laugh._ _"Oh, that's rich. You're so desperate for someone to like you that you would marry a serve! Just wait until everyone else hears about this! We all knew you were a hopeless loser, but this just proves it! Philip Lester, the second prince, marrying the _stable boy_!_ _

__Phil, not knowing what else to do, makes a grab at Dan's arm as he dutifully repeats the cover story that his family had made up for him._ _

__

__"Actually, this is the long lost Prince Greyson of Sergerdia. He was shipped here as a child and given the name Daniel, and it's very lucky for us that the king recognized him as he was visiting the stables the other day."_ _

__

__The lie sounds unbelievable even to Phil, and he can feel Dan tense up beside him. He was probably not aware of how deep the cover story went, but there was nothing Phil could do about it now._ _

__

__Nathaniel raises his eyebrows, before deciding that it would probably not be the best idea to challenge Phil on this one._ _

__

__"Well, aren't you two cute together," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm and a smirk pulling itself across his face._ _

__

__Dan subtly moves away from Phil, who lets out a well concealed sigh._ _

__

__"Can you just go?" Phil says, trying his best to look neutral.  
"Of course, your majesty," Nathaniel says, sounding rude and snide, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Daniel."_ _

__

__Dan says nothing._ _

__

__"Oh, do excuse me, I meant to say Greyson."_ _

__

__Dan and Phil watch Nathaniel's figure until he is out of sight. Phil turns to look at Dan, but the brunette is already strolling away with a purpose._ _

__

__"Daniel! Where are you going?!"_ _

__

__Dan turns around lazily._ _

__

"Listen, I don't need you looking out for me, okay?"  
"Well, obviously you do! Nathaniel was about to-"  
"I can hold my own."  
"I'm not saying you can't... I'm just saying that maybe you could say thank you!"  
"Thanks," Dan says, his voice bathed in sarcasm.

__

__And then he turns around again and keeps walking._ _

__

__"Seriously Daniel, where are you going?!"_ _

__

__Dan turns around again, rolling his eyes._ _

__

"Actually my name is Dan," he says, "Or perhaps it's Greyson?"  
"Hey, I'm sorry, okay?! I didn't make that up, it was my parents!"  
"And yet you're going through with it."  
"It's not like I really have a choice, Dan."  
"Well, _you_ might be fine, but excuse me for not wanting to pose as some long lost bastard, and excuse me for not wanting to marry myself off at eighteen to some obnoxious royal bloke who I don't even know!"

__

__For the third time, Dan turns and walks away, and Phil half-jogs to catch up with him._ _

__

"Daniel-- Dan, sorry-- I know that this isn't exactly the best arrangement, but I need to-"  
"'Not the best arrangement'? Wow, understatement of the year right there, Philip."  
"Please, call me Phil."  
"I don't really want to call you _anything_ , in case I haven't been clear."  
"I get it, but--"  
"No, Phil, I don't think you do get it. Because my life sucks. And just when I thought I was getting a ticket out, it turns out like this."  
"I'm really sorry, Dan..."  
"Are you? Are you really? Because you have no idea what it feels like to be so... so... so second-rate."

__

__Dan stops abruptly, leaning against a wall and running his hands through his messy, dusty hair._ _

__

"Actually, I do..."  
"Please. You're a motherfucking _prince_ , Phil."  
"I'm the second prince. Which means I get forgotten at every turn, always overshadowed by my brother, who everyone cares about, who's going to be the king someday... He's perfect. I'm just... me."

__

__For a fraction of a second, Dan's eyes look empathetic, like he might give Phil a hug, but then his face hardens into a much angrier emotion._ _

__

__"And yet you live here. You have people working for you. You have everything made for you. You do no work, not when other people could do it. Yeah, maybe your brother gets recognized more than you. Big fucking deal. You have it all, and you have the _nerve_ to complain about it? You have the fucking nerve to _complain_ about being a prince?"_ _

__

__After saying his piece, Dan sinks into the wall a little more, his legs bending a bit and his eyes finding the floor._ _

__

__Phil feels awful. Of course he shouldn't be complaining about his life, not when Dan's is so drastically worse._ _

__

__"Sorry, that was--"_ _

__

__But the boys's conversation is cut off when King George strides into the hallway._ _

__

__"Oh good, you've found him," he says, addressing Phil.  
"I...Yeah," Phil replies, staring at the floor along with Dan. _ _

__

__"You two should get to bed. We have a big day tomorrow."_ _

__

__Neither boy looks up._ _

__

__"Philip? Please show Daniel to your bedroom. Immediately."_ _

__

__Phil clears his throat, and, after making eye contact with Dan for an awkward fraction of a second, he starts walking, praying that Dan will give up being a smarts to the king and just follow him._ _

__

__Fortunately, Dan does. The king, satisfied, turns back down the hall, leaving Dan and Phil alone._ _

__

__They wind their way through the halls of the castle, completely silent._ _

__

__*_ _

__

__As they make their way through the castle, Dan tries to recollect his thoughts._ _

__

__First off, whoever that Nathaniel guy is, he's an absolute dick. He understands that Phil was trying to help him out by stepping in, but a part of him is inexplicably annoyed by that fact. He can fight his own battles, and he had been since he was a kid. He didn't need some pretentious prince to do it for him._ _

__

__Especially when said prince was telling lies about his backstory. Lies that he would have to adopt as well, because according to Phil, the royal family had made him up an intricate backstory in order to take away from the fact that he was actually a mistreated slave. He would have to be Greyson Gaile of Sergerdia, a long lost prince. And he would have to pretend to be married to Phil._ _

__

'Phil, who has the most perfect life, and still finds things to complain about,' part of Dan thinks.  
'Phil, whose complaints seemed like they hurt him a lot,' another part of Dan thinks.  
'Phil who has gorgeous eyes.'  
'Phil, who has a gorgeous brother.'

__

__In short, Dan is confused. Very confused._ _

__

__After a while of what seems like mindless wandering around the castle, they reach a polished, dark, wooden door, and Phil smiles tightly as he opens it._ _

__

__He holds the door open for Dan, who shyly walks into the room and stands awkwardly in the entrance as Phil enters the room as well, flicking on the over head light._ _

__

__Which is actually an intricate chandelier. And, damn, Dan should've known by now, but all the rooms in this castle are unabashedly gorgeous._ _

__

__The floors are made of some type of darkened wood, and the wallpaper on the walls is a delicate cream, with swirling pastel patterns that somehow complement the rest of the room. Dan's eyes are immediately drawn to the back of the room. There stands an enormous and proud looking four poster bed, but the ceiling above it is what draws Dan in. It's shaped in a half dome, with gold metal carvings striping up the sides and meeting at the top of the dome in an incredibly intricate fractal._ _

__

__The pastel ribbons followed the gold carvings, and Dan thinks that it's the single most beautiful room that he has ever seen. Tasteful painting stand on the walls over lavish furnishings._ _

__

__Phil steps further into the room, his eyes finding Dan's._ _

__

__"Um, I just wanted to... apologize for earlier. I know that your life has obviously been worse than mine, and I shouldn't have complained. It was stupid. I know I'm really lucky, but that doesn't mean I don't feel bad about it."_ _

__

__Dan takes a step forward, letting the door close behind him._ _

__

"Yeah, you're pretty lucky," he says, motioning around the room, "At least you've realized what an asshole you were earlier."  
"I wasn't being an asshole," Phil says, his voice a little quieter.  
"You were complaining. About your perfect life. To me."  
"Yeah, and I've already apologized! My life isn't perfect."  
"Seems pretty perfect to me."

__

__Phil takes off his navy and gold coat, revealing a white button down underneath it. He runs his hands through his hair, sighing, and then turns and walks into another section of the room, where he begins unbuttoning his shirt._ _

__

__Dan makes a weird sputtering noise, and Phil lifts his head up._ _

__

"What?"  
"You're-- taking off your shirt!"  
"Yeah, I don't usually sleep in button-downs."

__

__Dan suddenly realizes that he'll be sleeping in this room tonight. And that this room has one bed. Phil continues unbuttoning buttons, until finally he shrugs off his shirt and reveals his chest. It's tight and pale and Dan eyes dart all over the room, trying not to look. As his eyes flicker back for half a second, he catches a glimpse of Phil undoing his belt, and he gulps._ _

__

"Can you...not?"  
"Not what?"  
"Take off your trousers!"  
"And why not?"  
"Because, you idiot, we have to share the same bed, and I don't want you to be--"  
"Relax, Dan, it's a big bed."

__

__Phil speaks with no emotions in his words, but in his head all he can think about is how in his imagination he and his partner would cuddle in bed and stare out the window and talk about stars. And in real life, of course, nothing is the same._ _

__

__Dan stands in the corner of the room, pointedly not looking anywhere near Phil, and awkwardly taking off the ripped, dirty shirt that he was wearing. He leaves his pants on, not wanting Phil to see him without them._ _

__

__When he looks back up, Phil is lying in bed, his head and arm resting on a pillow, his face facing away from Dan._ _

__

__Dan crawls into the bed on the other side, thankful that the bed is big enough that he can pretend that Phil isn't even in it. Until he decides to speak._ _

__

"Dan?"  
"Phil, I don't want to talk to you."  
"I just.. wanted you to know that I really am sorry. And I'm not an asshole."  
"Well, you were acting like one."  
"I wasn't!" Phil protests, but his voice just sounds sad.  
"You were acting like you had actual problems!"

__

__Silence fills the room for half a minute, then Phil breaks it once again, his voice lower and softer._ _

__

__"Dan, do you think I want this? Do you think I want to be lying as far apart from my fiancee as physically possible? Do you think I want to show you around the castle and marry you and live together forever? No, I don't. And the thing that sucks the most is that I was allowed to choose who I married. And I fancy people, people that I could have chosen to spend forever with. I didn't ask to marry you, my brother and my parents told me that I would. You said you felt second-rate. Obviously I don't know how awful it was for you... But just because your problems were worse than mine doesn't mean I don't have them."_ _

__

__Oh._ _

__

__Dan rolls over to see that Phil has done the same. From across the impossibly big bed, Dan can see that Phil is gripping part of the pillow in his fist, that his eyes are squeezed shut with tear tracks gracing his cheeks. His hair falls across his forehead, and for a while, Dan truly does feel bad for the second prince._ _

__

__But then he rolls back over and reminds himself that it's partly Phil's fault that he's here in the first place._ _

__

__He falls asleep, and dreams of galloping across bright green fields on beautiful horses with someone he loves. They never have a face, in this dream, but they are there, holding his hand, whispering in his ear._ _

__

__He wakes up in the middle of the night, and he realizes that it's a hopeless fantasy that will never come true. Despite waking up with real blankets draped over him, part of him wishes that he was waking up under hay in his stables._ _

__

_At least then he still had a one in a million chance at something real._  
And here, in the castle, with one of the princes asleep a couple meters away, he just feels trapped. Trapped in a bed, trapped in a castle, trapped in a marriage.  
*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for your kudos, comments, etc. much love for you all!!
> 
> more from me:  
> friends shouldn't kiss me like you do- angsty shit, happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work)- supervillian dan kidnaps phil
> 
> p.s: america we gotta sort our shit out,, our president is literally a screaming yam with a blonde weave...


	5. Royal Clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is only 1.5k words but I'm having some issues with my head n shit because god decided to bless me with low blood pressure!!
> 
> hope you enjoy

Phil wakes up, a peaceful smile on his face as light streams through the window. He brushes his hair out of his face, exhaling softly and pulling up the blankets further, relaxing into the warm of his bed. For a couple minutes, everything is quiet and peaceful, and Phil lazily watches shadows move around the room. 

And then he remembers. 

He rolls over, his heartbeat quickening, and sure enough, he's there. 

Dan's face is screwed up, and the blankets don't cover his body. His face is still dirty, and Phil notices that he has a couple freckles. Yeah, he's adorable, his hands clutching at his pillow, his hair flopping over his face. 

But he doesn't love Phil. And Phil doesn't love him. 

And they'll be getting married. 

Phil can't help to have a little bit of hatred for the boy. After all, he had taken Phil's one good thing for himself, even though it wasn't exactly his choice. And then he had the nerve to blame Phil, to make it Phil's fault. 

But Phil really does feel bad for the worried looking boy in bed next to him. His life, like all servants's lives, was inarguably hard; Phil tries not to acknowledge how awful the servants are treated, it's easier on his conscience. And the boy obviously doesn't want to marry Phil either, obviously doesn't want to share this bed, much less a life together. 

Phil sighs, pulling himself out of bed and rubbing his eyes. He stretches, staring out the window, and then pulls on some pants. As he walks around the bed to his closet, he can't help but to lean down and tuck Dan in. 

 

Dan wakes up just as early as Phil, but as soon as he realizes where he is, he squeezes his eyes closed and tries to forget. His upper body, not covered by blankets, is freezing, but just as he is about to pull them up, he hears the blankets rustling next to him. Squinting, he sees Phil turn over and stare at him, his face a mask of emotion. 

Finally, the black haired boy turns back over, and Dan opens his eyes a little more as Phil gets out of bed. Dan watches him stretch, trying not to stare as he pulls up his pants. He quickly shuts his eyes as Phil makes his way over to the other side of the bed. 

He feels blankets being dropped over him, and he makes a small, quiet noise as they fall on his skin. 

Phil's tucked him in. Dan doesn't really know what to think. So, instead, he just tries to fall back asleep. 

When he wakes up, it's to a light touch on his face. His eyes lazily flutter open, and after blinking a couple times Phil comes into focus. He's awkwardly hovering over Dan, like he's unsure what to do. Dan yawns, sitting up in bed, and raises his eyebrows at the other boy, who takes a step back. 

"Sorry to wake you, uh, but it's time for breakfast."

Dan nods, pulling the covers up to cover as much of him as he can. 

"I don't have any clothes," he murmurs.  
"That's alright, the butler brought some spare clothes up this morning."

Dan can't help but scoff at Phil's words. A butler? Does he even know how spoiled he is?  
Phil sets the clothes in question on the end of the bed, looking down and blushing at Dan's distaste. 

"Can you... leave the room? While I change?" Dan asks, his voice a bit unsure.  
"Yeah. Right, 'course. I'll just-"  
Phil cuts himself off, turning around and walking around a corner of the room so that he can't see Dan. A couple moments later, Dan walks out of the bed area and stands awkwardly, looking at Phil expectantly. 

Phil's eyes seem to track from Dan's shoes to his hair.

"Should we... go?" Dan is uncertain, feeling alien in these new clothes. 

Phil's eyes snap back to Dan's face, and he nods, clearing his throat. The two boys enter into the hallway, Dan following Phil as they win their way through the halls. Eventually, they reach a grand double door, already opened to reveal a handsome dining room. 

In the middle stands a table, the biggest thing Dan has ever seen, with so many seats that it seems like the whole country could sit here. Royals mill about in an orderly fashion, piling their plates with gourmet dishes, herding their children into seats, standing tall and sitting tall and talking politely with the people they are sat next to. 

As soon as Phil enters, the whole room falls silent, and everybody stands up to show their respect for the prince. Phil flicks his eyes towards the ground, embarrassed, and doesn't look up again until he hears the voices and clinking of glasses return. 

When he does look up, he notices that a few people are still staring at him, or Dan rather, faces screwed up in confusion. Dan's eyes are flying all over the room, his hands twitching uncomfortably at his side. 

"It's okay, Dan," he says instinctively, not wanting the other boy to feel like he doesn't belong.

He walks over to the food table, Dan following him with his head down, and grabs two plates. He hands one to Dan, whose eyes stick to the ground like glue. 

"Dan," he says, "Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah," Dan replies, but his voice is small. 

Phil shrugs, looking up to see that people are still watching them from the table. He begins putting food on his plate quicker, making sure that Dan is putting stuff on his plate as well. Phil is about to lead them over to his normal seat with his family at the head of the table, but somehow he thinks that Dan wouldn't be comfortable with that. 

"Do you want to eat on the balcony?" He asks, his voice low and comfortable. 

Dan just nods. 

Phil leads them to the big glass doors at the side of the room, opening them and stepping outside, motioning for Dan to follow him.

 

As soon as they walk into the dining room, Dan is overwhelmed. First, they all stand up when Phil comes in, which is intimidating enough, but then they all start staring at him. He eagerly moves away from the entrance, following Phil, but he can still feel their eyes on him. He keeps his head down as he puts some food on his plate, and he tries to hide behind the older boy as they move towards the table. 

Sensing his discomfort, Phil turns around. Expecting Phil to be annoyed, he is surprised when the other boy looks concerned instead. 

"Do you want to eat on the balcony?" he asks, and Dan quickly nods, following the boy as he makes his way towards the glass doors at the side of the room. They walk outside, and Dan exhales, glad to be away from the stares and the clutter. 

"Everything alright?" Phil asks, and Dan just nods. 

They eat in silence, sitting on the floor of the balcony. Every once in a while, though, Phil will look up and see Dan staring at him, before they both sheepishly look back down at their food, smiling at nothing in particular. 

Suddenly, their peace is interrupted when the queen throws open the doors, giving a fake smile to Dan and a harsh look to Phil. 

"Son, you're getting your clothes dirty. No prince should sit on the ground!"  
"Sorry, mother..."  
"No matter, the servants will deal with it."

Dan's eyes get a little more squinty as he stares at the ground. 

"Anyway, why are you boys inside? There are many people who would enjoy the chance to speak to you both!"

Dan opens his mouth to reply, but Phil beats him to it.  
"We thought we would wait to introduce Dan until an event happens?" As he speaks, he shoots Dan a reassuring look. 

Queen Evangeline looks pleasantly surprised at her son's words.  
"Why, Philip, that is quite insightful of you! But Daniel, I'm afraid I've come out here to collect you."

Dan's eyes flit to the queen's face, his mouth falling slightly open in obvious discomfort. 

"Why?" he asks, his voice dry.  
"Well, you have to learn the ways of the castle if you stay here, Daniel. I'm afraid that the servants have no manners at all, and so if that's where you're coming from, we'll have to teach you from scratch."

Dan tries to mask his anger at the obvious insult in the queen's words. He gets up, holding his plate, and simply nods at the queen. 

"Perfect. Please join me outside the dining room," she says, and with that, turns and walks away. 

Dan lets out a sigh, turning to face Phil. 

"I'm sorry," the older boy says, "I really am."

Dan just nods.  
But as he begins to walk towards the doors of the balcony, he feels a hand on the small of his back, and he'd be lying if he said that he didn't want it to stay there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! until next saturday :)
> 
> more from me:  
> friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do (finished): quick read, heavy angst with a happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work): superhero au where dan is a super villain who kidnaps phil


	6. Royal Manners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry i didn't write last week, i was chilling with my family for thanksgiving so i didn't have time!  
> also i know i changed my username don't freak out elliehhhhhhhhh or whatever it was just wasn't doing it for me
> 
> hope u enjoy

Dan is escorted down the long halls of the castle by Queen Evangeline. They had to part with Phil back in the dining hall, and Dan would be lying if he said that his back felt a little cold where Phil's hand used to be. 

Finally, they reach a modest looking white door, which the queen knocks on purposefully. It opens to reveal a middle aged woman, wisps of gray in her sleek blonde hair. She smiles at Dan. 

"Hello, I'm Mrs.Auld."  
"I'll leave you to it, Daniel," the queen nods and turns around to walk back down the hall. 

Dan enters the room, following the woman he had just met. 

"So, I'm here to teach you some manners, is that right?"  
"...Yeah?"  
"It is always _yes_ , Daniel."  
"Um.. Yes."  
"Alright. Let's begin with proper dining etiquette."

Mrs. Auld is strict, making Dan practice identifying spoons and forks over and over again, but she is kind, sending Dan reassuring smiles when he looks out of depth. He picks up a salad fork and looks at it closely.

Halfway across the castle, in the dining hall, Phil does the same. 

 

Phil is sat at his place, near the head of the table with Cade on his left and one of the dukes on his right. 

"Hello, Phil," his brother says, playfully whacking him on the shoulder.   
"Hello, Cade."  
"And what's wrong with you? You haven't touched your biscuit!"  
"Everything's okay," Phil assures Cade, but his brother gives him a look like he already knows that it's not.   
"Alright, fine. It's Dan." Phil says, his voice dropping.   
"Dan? Oh... you mean fiancé Dan."  
"Yeah, problem is, I don't want to marry him!"  
"Why not? He's good looking enough."  
"But he hates me! He won't even touch me! And... You know... I just wanted..."  
"Oh Phil, you really are a hopeless romantic," Cade chuckles and shakes his head, and Phil blushes, reaching for a biscuit. 

"I know I am! So you see why there's a problem?"  
"Alright... Just... Have an affair or something!"  
"What?!"  
"I mean, if that's what you really want...."  
"Cade! I could never!" Phil hisses, then, as an afterthought, "Would you?"  
"No," his brother replies with a laugh, "Love doesn't matter to me."

Phil rolls his eyes and starts buttering his biscuit when the duke next to him clears his throat. 

"Prince Philip?" he says, almost as if he's asking a question.  
"Yes, sir?" Phil smiles politely and rotates in his chair so that he's almost facing the man."  
"I was just wondering who that young man who was with you earlier is. I've never seen him around the castle before."

Phil tries to smile again, but he's sure it comes out more like a grimace. He launches into the long-lost-prince speech, nodding and smiling in all the right places. After he finishes explaining to the duke, he tells the story to at least ten more royals, who in turn tell the story to others.

Overwhelmed, he runs his hand through his hair, takes a bite of his biscuit, and leaves the room. 

 

Dan is getting tired of cutlery. All the names and sizes of the different forks and spoons are swimming before his eyes, and although he knows he's meant to be identifying a spoon, he can't think straight. 

"Daniel? Do you know the answer?" Mrs.Auld says.  
"I... Uh... I can't remember. There's so many!" Dan rests his head in his hands and tries to look apologetic.   
"Don't worry, Daniel, I had a hard time learning them too. Since you didn't realize you were a prince until a couple days ago, I'm sure the royals will let you off the hook."

Right. His backstory. Dan hates the ways the royals cover up all their mistakes. 

"And you'll be eating next to Phil, now that you two are engaged, and that boy has impeccable manners. I'm sure he'd be willing to tell you which fork to use."

Mrs.Auld smiles at him again, but can't help but to process her words. He would be eating next to Phil now, until death do them part, and that realization hits him hard. Because it's not just eating... It's sleeping in the same bed and dressing in the same room and having to act like they're in love and adopting royal children. And what if the awkwardness never fades? It doesn't seem like it will. What if the two boys, after ten years of marriage, still sleep on opposite sides of the bed?

It's not like Dan wants to sleep wrapped up in Phil's arms, but he wants to wrapped up in someone's. 

"Dan, is everything alright?"  
"Yes... Can I be excused for the bathroom?"  
"You may. Hurry back!"

Dan leaves the room, gratefully slumping down the wall on the other side. He sits there, on the floor of the castle, or a couple minutes, just feeling sorry for himself.   
When he finally pulls himself up, he stares out a window that looks onto the grounds of the castle. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the stables, horses grazing all around. They've probably gotten a new stable boy, one that doesn't know anything about the horses, not like Dan. He can't help but want his old life back. Despite the fact that the ground is shiny and the ceiling is tall, Dan just feels like the castle is empty. 

He hears footsteps in the hallway and looks up to see that Phil is walking down it with a purpose. The black-haired boy stops to look into the manners room, but when he sees that Dan isn't in there, he turns around with a confused look on his face. 

There he sees Dan, sitting on the ground, tracing patterns on the floor. Phil sits next to him, watching Dan try to not to watch him.

There is silence for a while. Then Phil breaks it. 

"Were you looking at the horses?"

Dan makes eye contact with him, and his eyes are shiny with tears. 

"Yeah. I miss them."

Phil doesn't know what to say to that, so he just places his hand over Dan's on the ground. The other boy tenses for a moment then relaxes into the touch. It is quiet and calm for another moment, until Dan speaks again. 

"You know that we have to be together for the rest of our lives, right?"

Phil sighs, looking at Dan with something in his eyes that the younger boy can't place. 

"Yes, I know. You should go back in there, Dan." Phil wipes a tear off Dan's face with his thumb. Then, he turns and walks down the hall, not even bothering to glance over his shoulder. Dan pulls himself up, blinks a couple times, and prepares himself to re-enter the world of cutlery.

 

That night, they both get into bed, on opposite sides again. They face away from each other, both staring at a wall. Dan realizes again how utterly permanent this is. He might spend the rest of his life learning manners and staring longingly out the window and crawling into bed with a prince and making sure that they aren't touching. 

He begins to cry, silent tears rolling down his face and wetting his pillow. He lets out an accidental sob. 

Phil shifts in bed, and Dan sees a light come on in the room. 

"Dan?" Phil whispers.

Dan does not reply. Phil gets out of bed and walks around the end of it, kneeling so that he is face-to-face with the younger boy. 

"Oh Dan..." Phil says when he sees the look of him. Dan buries his face in the pillow.   
"Dan, you know I didn't ask for this to happen... You know I don't-"  
"I know, Phil," Dan says, his voice shaky from crying and muffled by the pillow. "Just-- go back to sleep."

Phil nods, mostly to himself, and walks back around the bed, getting in on his side. He tries his best to forget that Dan is crying, but when he hears another half-concealed sob, he can't help but to roll over and move closer. His ankle brushes against Dan's foot. He can feel Dan tense and shudder a bit, and Phil is overcome by a sudden urge to protect this boy. He looks so small, curled up in a ball, shaking, his hair curly and his back bare. 

Phil moves closer, until their legs are practically tangled up in a ball. Dan stops shuddering, his muscles relaxing a bit. After a while, his breathing becomes steady and Phil reckons that he's fallen asleep. It doesn't take too long for the older boy to drift off as well. 

 

When Dan wakes up, the first thing he notices is that he's warm. Yesterday morning the sheets had fallen off him and it felt like he was about to get hypothermia, but this morning he feels like he's wrapped in a cocoon. 

The next thing he notices is that there is skin pressed against his, and after that, everything flies back to him. 

Phil's body is pressed up against his, Phil's chest touching his back, their legs tangled, Dan's head resting in the crook of his neck and Phil's arms wrapped around him. 

Dan doesn't move, not that it means anything. It's warm, and besides, he doesn't want to be rude and wake up Phil. So he stays there, suspended in the early morning, and the sun streams through the window as Dan relaxes into Phil's grip. 

And then Phil's wakes up. Dan can tell because he begins to stir, and he hears him yawn. When Phil realizes that he's wrapped around Dan, he lets out a little squeaky sound and shifts backwards, exposing Dan's back to the cold. Well, too bad. Phil obviously doesn't want to be wrapped up in Dan, and Dan doesn't want to be wrapped up in Phil either. Pity that it's cold, though. 

And then-- Phil moves forward again, his arms wrapped back around Dan's waist and pulling him a little bit closer. Despite himself, Dan smiles and exhales. 

They lay like this for a long time, breathing in time with each other, and every once in a while Phil will card his hands through Dan's hair or kiss the top of his head, and Dan can't help but feel safe and warm. 

And then someone knocks on the door, and Phil scrambles back like a bomb hit him. Dan, surprised, rolls back at the same time, completely giving it away that he was awake the entire time. 

Phil's eyes bug out of his head. 

"D-Dan! I'm so sorry, I uh, I--" The older boy stutters, his face going bright red. 

Dan waves him off, rolling over and muttering into his pillow, "It's okay, I liked that."

"What?"  
"I said get the door, you twat!"  
"Oh..."

Phil can't help but feel incredibly embarrassed as he pulls on a shirt to go answer the door. he had been kissing the other boy and playing with his hair and squeezing his chest and Dan had been awake the entire time. Mortifying. 

Although he can't help but notice that Dan is lying back and smiling, and that a bright pink blush is winding up his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more from me:  
> friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do (finished): quick read, heavy angst with a happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work): superhero au where dan is a super villain who kidnaps phil. angst ensues.
> 
> hope you enjoyed! what was your favorite part??


	7. Royal Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey happy saturday! i hope you have a nice day!!
> 
> writing this has been my little escape between studying for exams next week, so thanks for giving me an excuse to slack off !! xx

Dan lies back in bed with a small smile on his face that he will, in the future, deny was ever there to begin with. 

Phil stands up, quickly pulling on a shirt and running his hands through his hair, then walking to open the door. He pulls it open with a well-practiced smile and nods at the servant who answers the door. 

"Hello, Lucy. How are you? I don't think I have a fitting today, though I may be mistaken..." Phil is polite and kind even while talking to a servant. Dan is surprised that Phil would even bother to learn her name.  
"I'm well, thank you sir. I'm actually here to fit Mr.Howell for his tuxedo?"

Dan sits up in bed, and he slides out quickly, thankfully already wearing adequate clothing.  
"I didn't schedule a fitting," he says, hands wringing together.  
"The queen asked me to come, sir," the servant says, her eyes downcast, "I have to fit you for the dance..."  
"What dance?"  
"Um... There's a... celebration a little ways away. For, you know, us getting married. More Cade getting married to his wife. But. Yeah." Phil doesn't meet Dan's eyes while he explains, and manages to avoid Dan's glare. Stupid fucking royals having to celebrate every goddamn thing.  
"I don't want to get fitted. I don't want to go to the dance." Dan is aware he sounds like a child, but it's unfair that he's just expected to go along with whatever they say.  
"Please, sir, I'm only doing my job..." the servant girl says, and Dan's heart softens a bit. He remembers all too well what it's like being in her position.

"Fine. I'll get fitted. Or whatever."

Phil smiles brightly, and Dan resists the urge to roll his eyes. He can't believe that five minutes ago he was being cuddled by this spoiled royal. 

Thankfully, Phil leaves the room to go get breakfast while Lucy wraps strings around his waist and shoulders and writes down numbers. Before the older boy left, he told Dan to go to manners when he's finished fitting-- Mrs.Auld will serve him a quick breakfast before they begin. 

After he finishes his fitting, which, in his opinion, is a grueling affair, he pulls on a jacket, combs his hair until it resembles being clean, and leaves the room. He wanders through the halls for a little while, and finally, by some sort of dumb luck, he stumbles upon the little white door that he last learned how to attempt to eat a multi-course meal in. 

He knocks on the door and Mrs. Auld opens it, beaming brightly at Dan and shaking his hand. Dan remembers all the proper formalities, and only drops a utensil once during the meal. 

But her optimism fades significantly when she begins teaching Dan how to dance. They start out with a slow waltz, but Dan is tall and clumsy and his feet move too slowly. Mrs.Auld switches to a faster beat, but Dan forgets how to do the step and ends up tripping around in a weird half circle. 

She ups the tempo, downs the tempo, tries to teach Dan the fundamentals, tries even reteaching Dan how to take steps, but it's all to no avail. 

Dan Howell simply cannot dance, and Mrs.Auld's feet are far too sore for her liking. Finally, she tuns off the music, takes a deep breath, and suggests that she escort Dan to a late lunch, and they will meet tomorrow. 

"Perhaps," she says to Dan as they walk through the halls, "You may improve if you sleep on it."  
Dan agrees aloud, but internally he knows that no amount of sleep will make his feet know what to do when a waltz comes on. Not that he could even properly identify one in the first place. 

The two walk into the dining hall, and over to the food. While Dan selectively fills his plate, he scans the table for Phil, hoping to find someone who he knows at least a little bit to sit with. Mrs.Auld must see him looking, because she chuckles and tells him where Phil is. 

"Your fiancé is out with the rest of the royal family at a charity luncheon. Very formal event. They should be back soon, if you want to wait?"  
Dan shakes his head. "No, it's fine. I was just wondering."

It is not fine. Dan sits alone near the head of the table, and royal after royal comes up and asks him cryptic questions, sits down next to him, leans in so far that he can feel their breath on his neck. he tries as best he can to relay the story to them, but Phil is the one that's good at this. He feels out of his element talking to all these people that a week ago wouldn't have been seen anywhere near him. 

What's worse than the people approaching him, however, is the people who don't approach him at all. He can see them whispering to other people and glancing at him, and he feels shifty and uncomfortable, like an animal at the zoo who everyone looks at but doesn't interact with. 

He decides that maybe he should leave the dining hall. 

But, caught up in his thoughts, Dan forgets his plan of retracing his steps and quickly gets lost in the halls of the castle. He tries making only right turns, as if he's caught in a maze, but this tactic only ends up further misleading him, until he's in a part of the castle that he's never been in before. 

He stops and leans against a wall, collecting himself to try to make his way back to the dining hall, when he sees someone turn the corner into the hall. 

The crown prince is tall, tanned, seems to be commanding the light in the hallway to group around him and make him practically glow. 

"Hi, Dan," he drawls, and Dan feels like he's ten years old and still has a crush on the milk girl, "You look lost."

Cade stops in his tracks, leans against the wall next to Dan, and holy _fuck_ some people should not be allowed to lean. Especially because the light is framing his face just right, giving him a little halo. 

"Hi, Prince Cade... Yeah, I'm lost."  
"Oh God, please just call me Cade. After all, we're friends, right?"  
"...Yeah. Definitely."  
"Cool. So, you need help getting back to your room, hmm?" 

How the hell does his voice sound so deep and so smooth and sweet all at the same time?

"Yeah. That would be great, thanks."  
"No problem! Always happy to help you out." And he throws a little wink, no doubt referencing the time he got Dan out of trouble at the stables. 

Dan blushes as he follows Cade through the halls. The older prince talks about everything under the sun, and honestly he could make taxes sound interesting with that voice of his. 

Yeah, Dan definitely has a crush.

He feels wildly guilty about it, too. '

After a while of walking and mindless chatter, Cade turns into a hall that Dan recognizes and leads him right up to the doorway of his room. Well, his and Phil's room. 

"Thank you so much, Cade."  
"Honestly, don't mention it. And if there's anything else you need help with... find me."  
"Well, there is one thing..."  
"And that is?"  
"I can't really dance." Dan is surprised by how forward he's being, but Cade takes it all in stride. 

"You can't really dance, huh? Well, we can't have that." And with a graceful sidestep, Cade pulls Dan inside the room. 

Cade's hands don't leave Dan's body when they get inside, however, they just switch positions, hugging Phil around the waist and pulling him closer, making Dan gulp a little too loudly as Cade laughs. 

"Your hands go around my neck. Mrs.Auld probably had you try to lead, but you don't strike me as much of a leader, hmm?"

Dan blushes and tries to avert Cade's gaze as he moves his hands to wrap around the taller boy's neck. 

"And now, we just move our feet around in a circle. Just like this."

Dan stares at his feet at first, moving them as slowly as he dares and making sure they go in the right places.  
"You got it, Dan. Now, look up."

And so he does, staring into the bright blue orbs of Cade's eyes. They are a different shade of blue than Phil's eyes, more blue, less green. Pretty. His feet go in the right places by themselves, and Dan smiles widely as Cade shifts his hands and pulls him even closer, so that they're almost pressed up against each other. 

Cade starts humming as he spins Dan around the room, and soon they're both smiling and moving closer and closer like some sort of gravity is pulling at them. And then Cade suddenly stops, and he moves his face down a little bit so that Dan can feel the older boy's breath on his face. 

The prince smirks, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and he pulls Dan closer so that they're touching in a thousand different places at once, and suddenly his face is closer and closer and closer and

And then their lips touch, and Dan wraps his arms tighter around Cade's shoulders, kissing back shyly. 

It's full of lust and passion, and Dan knows that he likes Cade a little bit more than being friends, but it feels... weird. Like he's doing something wrong. 

But it's Cade, and he's been flirting with Dan for over an hour, and they danced around the room together, and Dan can't deny that it feels good. Good, but not right. 

The door opens with a bang, and Dan hears a short gasp before Cade rockets backwards, trying to put as much distance between them as possible, and as soon as Dan turns toward the door he realizes why. 

Phil stands in the doorway, his eyes flicking back and forth between Dan and Cade. 

Cade takes a couple more steps back. "Phil, I- I'm really sorry."

Phil doesn't speak.  
Cade moves around Dan in a wide circle, not making eye contact, and looks at Phil pleadingly. "I don't know what I was-- I mean, I know how you--"

"Phil, I'm so sorry. I was being-- I can't--"

"Don't, Cade." Phil voice is strong and unwavering, exactly as a prince's should be, but his eyes reveal that he's cycling through about ten emotions at once.  
Cade slides through the door, muttering a couple more hushed apologies at his brother before he leaves. 

Phil stares at Dan for a good ten seconds before shaking his head softly and walking past him so that Dan can't see his face anymore. 

Everything is cold and silent as Phil fumbles with something on his bedside table and Dan stares at his back like he's unsure of what to do, what to say. 

Finally, Dan clears his throat and Phil turns around. The older boy's eyes are red as if he's let a couple tears fall, but obviously there was no way that Phil would be crying over Dan. 

"Phil, I, uh, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for you to-- I mean, I didn't mean to, um..."  
"Don't make this harder than it is already, Dan."

And what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Phil walks out the door and doesn't come back into the room until late at night, his hair a mess and his cheeks flushed. He climbs into bed, on his side, and Dan watches him shivering as if he's cold even though he's lying under a couple of blankets. 

Dan sighs, rolling over so that he's close to Phil, and tentatively wraps his arms around the other boy's chest. 

Phil hisses and pushes him away. 

Dan rolls over, willing himself to go to sleep so he can stop overthinking everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more from me:  
> friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do (finished): quick read, heavy angst with a happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work): superhero au where dan is a super villain who kidnaps phil. angst ensues.


	8. Royal Bastards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gamingmas more like gaymingmas i love
> 
> also...dab howlter...iconic

Dan wakes up long after the sun. He's used to Phil quietly nudging him until he opens his eyes, reminding him that he needs to get ready for breakfast, but Phil isn't anywhere to be found. 

Dan supposes that he can't really blame the prince. After all, he had seemed pretty angry at Dan last night. Angry and something else, but Dan couldn't place the emotion. Maybe it was bad etiquette to kiss his fiancé's brother, but their situation was different. Surely Phil understood that, right?

It wasn't like Dan had done anything wrong in the first place. He and Phil weren't in a real relationship, hell, they barely talked! 

So why did Dan feel so guilty?

He pulls himself out of bed, looking out the window to see that the sun hadn't risen that far in the sky. Breakfast was probably still being served, and he would likely get in trouble if he didn't turn up. Besides, he'd like to see Phil again, if only to apologize and reiterate that he didn't mean any harm. 

Pulling on a shirt and smoothing down minuscule wrinkles, Dan runs a hand through his hair and lets out his breath. He pulls on pants, gives himself a quick once-over in the mirror, humming as he adjusts parts of his hair. 

He leaves the room, looking down the hall one way and then the other before deciding that the dining hall is on his left. He walks that way, turning in all the right places, slightly proud of himself for remembering the way after getting so lost yesterday. 

And then it all goes downhill. 

Dan turns a corner when he sees a bunch of boys standing against a wall. 

One of the boys nudges another, who turns around to make eye contact with Dan. 

_He looks familiar_ , Dan thinks, and then realizes that it's the same boy who called him a serve and would've punched him if Phil hadn't stepped in when he did. Dan remembers being annoyed at Phil at the time, but now he wishes that he was walking to breakfast with Phil as usual.

The boy takes a step forward, his face contorting into an ugly sneer. 

"Nathaniel, who's this?" A boy asks, mimicking his body language. 

Nathaniel laughs, halfway turning back to the group before speaking. 

"Remember that stable boy I told you about? Well, for some reason he decided that he belongs in the castle!"

Murmurs go up behind him.

"He's a servant? Then why is he dressed well?  
"He looks scared! He's in for it!"  
"Ew, he must be dirty..."  
"Why would the king and queen let him in the castle anyway?'

"Well, little Phil seems to be quite attached to him," Nathaniel declared, his eyebrows raised as everyone behind him laughed. 

"I daresay a little more than attached, hmm?" 

Nathaniel takes a couple more steps forward, the boys following him a couple feet back. 

"Come on, what's your name?"  
"Fuck you," Dan says, his voice crisp and even.

Nathaniel howls with laughter. "Oh, you want to, do you?"

Despite trying to keep up his tough facade, Dan's hands twitch nervously at his sides. He's hungry, he might be lost, and his mind is still reeling from everything that happened last night. He stays silent, watching as the boys walk forward to meet Nathaniel in a line. They all laugh at his comment. 

"So, precious boy, what's your name? I heard that you're apparently a prince," he snickers, "But you're a little dirty for a royal."

"Greyson." Dan answers, not wanting to get in trouble for not adhering to his backstory. 

"Greyson," Nathaniel purrs, "Pretty name."

The boys behind him laugh. Dan takes a step back, causing the boys to exchange looks. 

"Scared, are you?"  
"No..."  
"I think you are, hmm?"  
"Why are you doing this?!"  
"Because, people like you don't belong in the castle. You're a servant. And we're royals."

Dan grits his teeth. He forgot how awful and condescending royals were. After spending so much time with Phil, he was used to the older boy's sweet disposition. Not that he liked it. Not that it would even continue after how angry Phil had been the previous night. 

"I am a royal," Dan insists, but his voice is weak and wavering.  
"You know, I haven't seen your little Phil all day! Do _you_ know where he is, Greyson?"  
"No..."  
"Then I guess he won't be around to protect you?"

Dan takes a step back, letting out a little cry. 

"Please..."  
"You know that was the only reason why I let you go last time? Looks like little Phil got tired of his toy, and now you're alone, walking through the halls like a lost puppy. I've been waiting for this day. Nobody ever gets away from me."

Dan would've laughed at how ridiculous the boy sounded if he wasn't so terrified. He tries to turn around, but Nathaniel grabs his wrist and spins him back with surprising strength. 

"Why do you want to hurt me?"  
"Don't worry, I'll make it quick."

Nathaniel brings his arm back and swings it into Dan's face, his fist connecting with Dan's cheek with a sickening crunch. He lets go of Dan's wrist, sending Dan tumbling to the ground, his hands holding onto his face. 

The boys laugh and Dan stares up at them, tears running down his face and mixing with the rivulets of blood from his nose. 

Nathaniel smirks at the boy behind him, but when he turns back to Dan, his face looks guilty and scared. He opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but instead he takes a step back, morphing his face into an indignant mask. 

"That'll tach you to pretend to be royal."

And the boys leave Dan on the ground, trying to mop up the blood with the cuffs of his sleeves. 

He won't be going to breakfast. 

Slowly, he stands up, cupping his nose in one hand. He leans against the wall and breathes out when he hears footsteps turning back down the corridor. 

Opening his eyes, he sees that it's Nathaniel, followed by the queen. 

"Here, your highness. He, um, fell over. Really hurt himself. Can you help him please?"  
"Of course, Nathaniel. Dan's still working on his manners, he obviously needs a touch up on his grace. Thank you for drawing my attention to the situation."  
"You're welcome, Queen. I just... didn't want him to get hurt."

The queen takes a step towards Dan and Nathaniel darts away, leaving Dan wondering why he would get for Dan if he had caused the problem in the first place. 

Queen Evangeline takes Dan by the arm, leading him through the halls. 

The whole time, she complains about his lack of grace and chides him for not acting like a royal. 

"I'm not one!" Dan finally hisses.  
"Daniel! You mustn't let anyone hear that. You know how gracious we are for letting you stay here."  
"Very," Dan mutters.  
"Indeed," the Queen agrees, not picking up on Dan's sarcasm. 

Finally, they get to what seems to be the nurses quarters. A couple royals lie on beds, talking amongst themselves, and a young woman darts between them, tweaking buttons and replastering wounds. 

The queen deposits Dan on a table, informing the young woman, who must be the nurse, that Dan had taken a fall. Giving him one last glare, she leaves the room. 

Dan lies on the table with his eyes closed, trying to ignore the stinging on his cheek as the nurse applies ointments and lotions and gauze. Passively, he listens to the royals' conversation, which seems to be about him. 

About how he didn't act like a prince, how little they saw him, how unhealthily attached to Phil he is. They drag him through the mud as if they didn't understand that he could hear them. 

Worst of all, they attack him for the fact that he used to be a servant. They call him dirty and unfit to ever be a royal. 

It reminds Dan of how much he hates this whole thing. Almost every single person he had met was an ignorant prick who had some sort of superiority complex. It was sickening and infuriating and frankly, Dan was one with it.

Not that there was anything Dan could've done from where he lay, blood and ointment on his cheek, tissues up his nose, eyes closed and ears open. 

He spends a long time in the nurses quarters, but the queen comes to collect him in the afternoon, leading back to his room and telling him not to leave unless his bruises completely disappear. She doesn't want any royals questioning his princeliness. 

Dan lies in bed, walks around the room, tries to wash his body shirt sleeves but to no avail. 

Slowly the sun dips beyond the horizon and Dan slips into bed. Phil isn't back in the room, which is weird because the older boy is always asleep before midnight. Not that he misses Phil, but not seeing him the whole day had been weird.

The bed smells like Phil.  
Dan can't fall asleep, no matter how many times he tries. 

Suddenly, he hears a tapping on his window.  
_Maybe it's Phil_ , he thinks, but no.

It's a blond guy, Dan vaguely recognizes him from somewhere. As Dan gets up to open the window, he remembers from where. He's got calloused hands and a dashing smile, and he's the head of all the servants in the castle. It was a pleasure and a privilege for any servants to talk to Samuel, because the royals tolerated and talked to him. He was the bridge between the oppressed and the oppressors, but that didn't make him less oppressed. 

Dan opens the window, wondering how Samuel got up. 

As if he can read minds, Samuel winks and points at the strong winding ivy that grows up the turrets. Dan may have to remember this. 

Samuel puts a finger over his mouth, urging Dan to be quit, before handing him a folded piece of paper. He winks, then seemingly jumps out of the window. Dan watches him scramble down the ivy for a minute, then closes the glass. 

Dan climbs back into bed, pulling out the paper to read, when the door opens and in walks Phil, looking like a hot mess. 

Dan slips soundlessly under the covers, resolving to read the paper later, and pretends to be asleep while he stares at the other boy. 

Phil peels off his shirt, letting it drop to the ground, and leans against the wall. His hair is wet with sweat, which also gleams on his face and neck. He runs his hands through his hair a couple times before letting out a long breath and, not bothering to change out of his dress pants, crawls into bed. 

He turns over, not facing Dan and not even close to him. 

Dan wishes Phil had just wrapped his body around Dan's like he did a couple nights ago. Just because it was warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of stuff going on hmm  
> what do you guys think about Nathaniel?
> 
> more from me  
> friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do (finished): quick read, heavy angst with a happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work): superhero au where dan is a super villain who kidnaps phil,,, angst ensues.


	9. Royal Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!! for those of you who celebrate christmas-- i hope you have a great day tomorrow, whether or not you are with your family and friends,, take care of yourself! if you don't celebrate christmas, i hope that you are having a nice holiday and that you feel warm and cozy as well. i've been skiing this whole week which is something i love so i'm feeling pretty good!!
> 
> enjoy :))

You could cut the tension with a knife. 

It's dinner time, and the king and the queen, who usually occupy the head of the table and it's right hand chair, are off on business in another kingdom. 

Cade, who usually sits on the left side of his father, has taken his place at the head of the table. Dan sits on one side of him, and Phil on the other, in the chair that usually belongs to his mother. 

Dan keeps trying to make eye contact with Phil, but the latter is avoiding him at all costs. 

They haven't spoken since the kiss incident. 

Phil is confused, to say the least.

First, he had left their room, went down to the stables and took his stallion, Posey, out on a ride. He hadn't ridden in years, but his muscles still remembered everything right. He tried to rationalize the situation, telling himself that he had seen something incorrectly, that his fiancé hadn't been wrapping his arms around his brother's neck. 

Then he took a step into the castle and his brother was standing in the hall, waiting, an apologetic look on his face. 

Phil could've pushed him in the face. How could his brother, the one person who knew the depth of his feelings for Dan, actually kiss the boy?! And then he had the nerve to try to apologize? As if a couple of words could just erase Phil's memory and make it all better?

He brushed by his brother, a glare on his face. He wouldn't punch Cade, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't find an abandoned room and scream into the pillows like he was in a bad 90s sitcom.

Phil lay in that random bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling and letting his anger seep out of his body. Phil had never been someone who would get irate and unforgiving-- he was simply too good-natured. 

He was numb and unfeeling for a couple of minutes, and then the tears started to flow.

It was a steady stream, to say the least. 

He made his way back to his and Dan's room, with each step reminding himself to keep a calm, steady demeanor. To make his voice rational and unwavering. To keep his hands from shaking, to keep the tears from pooling in his eyes. 

When he got back, Dan was already in bed. Small mercies. 

He took off his shirt and pants, ran his hand through his hair, and curled up on his side of the bed. Back facing Dan. He could feel the heat radiating off of the other boy, and the tears began to form again, dripping down his cheeks in absolute silence. 

He held his breath as the other boy shifted, and exhaled in surprise when he felt a warm arm drape around his torso. 

_No,_ Phil thought, _You don't get to play with me like that._

He shrugged the other boy off, bringing his own hand up to wipe away his tears. He shut his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep as soon as possible. 

And now here he was, a couple silent days later, tastefully slicing his scrambled eggs into pieces and trying not to overthink things. Every five minutes, Cade looks over to him and mouths, "I'm sorry", but Phil just pretends like he isn't paying attention. 

 

Dan is just as confused. He sees the interactions between Phil and his brother, and wonders why Cade feels the need to apologize so much. All they had done was kissed, and it wasn't like Phil had a monopoly on Dan. They weren't together, Dan didn't even remotely fancy the other boy. 

But every time he saw Phil calm his shaking hands and blink forcefully to abate the tears in his eyes, he felt guilt stab him in the chest. 

And the paper in his left pocket feels like it weighs a thousand pounds. He couldn't make any sense of it. Well, technically he could. It was simple enough. 

_Tonight._  
Courtyard.  
1400\. 

So he was supposed to be in the courtyard at 14:00 am tonight... but why? Why had Samuel given him this message? Dan couldn't make any sense out of it, not at all. 

He can't decide if he'll go or stay in the room. 

Breakfast ends, thank the lord, and Dan stands up quickly, not bothering to tell Phil where he's going. Not that it's at all interesting or something that the older boy would care about. Just manners. 

He turns up at Mrs.Auld's door a couple minutes late, with a sense of pride in his chest at only getting lost once. 

Unfortunately for Dan, the lesson is once again focused on dancing. Not only is he absolutely shitty at it, it also reminds him of dancing with Cade. And kissing Cade. In short, it makes him feel incredibly guilty. 

As they whirl around the room, Dan having a go at leading, he tries to focus on the music and move his feet in a pattern based on where the lilting beats fall. Nobody would say that he's good-- not by any means-- but Mrs.Auld smiles when the song draws to a close. 

"You've improved a lot, Daniel!"

Dan doesn't make eye contact, scratching the back of his head and ignoring the culpability crawling up his neck. 

 

Later, he is wandering through the halls again, making his way towards what he thinks is the courtyard. The courtyard is about the only thing that he absolutely recognizes in the castle, and he can find almost any place he knows by just going there first. 

Turning into a hall that he slightly recognizes, Dan smiles to himself before looking up. 

Standing in the middle of the corridor, like some sort of deja vu, is Cade.

Dan takes a step back, unsure of what to do, and Cade takes a step forward, then another, then another. 

They stand very close together. 

_Too close_ , Dan's mind screams, but it isn't really and Dan likes Cade anyway so he just ignores it. 

Dan flicks his eyes down, confused as to what Cade wants and as to what he himself would even be willing to give. 

He feels a hand on his shoulder, and looks up into the pure royal blue of Cade's eyes. 

"Take it easy on Phil, will you?" Cade speaks, his voice deep and gravelly. His eyes look concerned, like he's asking something that he doesn't know that he should be. The two stare at each other for a couple silent seconds. 

Finally, Dan nods. Cade nods back, his hand lifting a tiny bit off of Dan's shoulder. 

Then, suddenly, he tightens his grip and tilts his head down to capture Dan's lips in his own. 

He pulls away quickly, his hands jittering and his eyes flicking all over the place as if he's just done something awful. He stutters out a couple of words, then just brushes by Dan and speedily walks away, turning at the end of the hallway. 

Dan stands there, hand on his lip, shell-shocked. 

He doesn't turn to see where Cade has gone, instead furrowing his brows and wondering what Cade is thinking. What did he mean by telling Dan to go easy on Phil? It wasn't as if Dan was planning to kill the prince. And the kiss? After the amount of time he had apologized to Phil over it, the speed at which he pulled away from Dan the first time, Dan was sure that Cade hadn't intended to kiss him at all. 

But he still had. 

Dan walks back into the room, which is empty. The sun has already begun to set, and Dan flops onto the bed, pulling out the piece of paper and reading it again. He decides that he'll go to the courtyard. After all, what else could possibly go wrong that hasn't already?

 

Dan, lying in bed and absentmindedly crinkling the corner of the paper, decides that he'll wait for Phil to drift off and then leave. Samuel did tell him to be quiet, and he wouldn't want to make himself suspicious by not being back in the room when Phil comes in. 

 

He lies there for hours. And hours. And hours. 

It's 13:01 am, and Dan is struggling to keep his eyes open. The thing in the courtyard in is one hour, and Phil has yet to get back. Dan tells himself stories in his head, something that he use dot do as a child to keep his eyes open when he had to do night shifts in the stables. 

Finally, after twenty more minutes of agonizing waiting, Dan hears the door open and sits bolt upright in bed, blinking a couple times to rid the sleep from his eyes. Phil makes eye contact with him before quickly looking down, biting his bottom lip and shutting his eyes. 

The two boys are still for a couple moments, and then move into action all at once. Dan sinks back under the covers, pretending that he's about to fall asleep. Phil peels off his shirt, crawling into bed on his side. 

He faces Dan as he lies down. _He's never really done that before_ , Dan thinks, and then remembers how much it doesn't matter. 

Dan watches him anyway, behind squinted eyes, if only to make sure that he falls asleep before Dan leaves to go to the courtyard. 

Phil's eyes are open, wide, and staring at Dan. Maybe it's just the squinted field of vision, but his eyes seem to be swimming with tears. He turns over, letting out a tiny sigh. 

Dan waits until his breathing is regulated before quietly sliding out of bed and tugging on a jacket. He still hates the fact that all of his clothes were chosen by people that he doesn't even know. When he was a stable boy, he used to draw on all his shirts and make them his. 

He has a feeling if he so much as drew a mark on this jacket he would be disowned and probably kicked out of the castle. 

Dan walks out of the room quickly, turning down the halls and keeping to the side so that if anyone happens to be walking down them they might look him over. Luckily enough he's just going to the courtyard, the one place that he definitely knows how to get to. 

But when he gets there, it seems like he's the only one. He looks around, pulling his jacket tighter around his shoulders, but he can't see anyone besides his own shadow. 

It's cold and dark, and Dan is beginning to think that this whole thing was some weird prank, but then Samuel, the head servant who had given Dan the note, steps out of the shadows. 

Samuel smiles, holding out his hand for Dan to shake, which he does. 

"Dan," the blonde servant says, and his voice is smart and rational.  
"Hello..." Dan replies, still unsure as to why he's here in the first place.  
"So, you're a royal now?"  
"...Yeah?"  
"Have you assimilated into your new life well?"

Samuel raises his eyebrows as he waits for Dan's reply. Dan, in turn, is horribly confused. He wishes someone would just tell him what he's doing here, in the courtyard, in the early early morning when he should be asleep. So he just answers completely truthfully, not even feeling up to making something up. 

"Not very well. The royals are all quite pretentious, except for a few."  
"Pretentious? Dan, I think that's putting it lightly."

It's Dan's turn to raise his eyebrows, signaling for the blonde to continue. 

"Well, I saw what Nathaniel and some other royal children did to you yesterday..."

Dan looks down as Samuel keeps speaking, reminding him of everything Nathaniel had said. The servant seems to have a knack for inciting people, because by the end of his short spiel, Dan's blood is boiling. 

Samuel's right, not only do the royals have an ugly superiority complex, they oppress anyone who they regard as less than them. They treat servants horribly. They hurt them, physically and mentally, and nobody ever steps in to defend them, because they are less. 

Dan nods, agreeing with Samuel's words. He lets out a low growl in the back of his throat, and Samuel cracks a smile.

"Dan, we don't have to sit in silence."

We? Who is "we"?

Dan opens his mouth to ask, but before he can even start his question, servants begin to pour out of the shadows. Dan recognizes a few of them, people who took him under their wing when he was little, people who fitted him for a tuxedo a couple weeks ago. 

They all stand behind Samuel, who is still smiling. 

"Join us, Dan. You're the connection between the oppressed and the oppressors. You're what we need to destroy them from the outside in."

Silent cheers go up behind him, and Dan smiles too. His blood is boiling with the excitement of revolution, he feels like he' on fire. Everything that Samuel said is right, as well-- the way servants are treated is beyond unfair and more abusive. Dan would be happy to put an end to it all. 

Something about the phrase "destroy them from the outside in" makes Dan feel dangerous and powerful. 

So he does, he joins them. He joins them with no hesitation, shaking hundreds of hands and smiling as he thinks about everything that they will inevitably do and all the good that will come from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much romantic drama in this chapter but,, i gotta further the plot bros,,  
> (don't worry because damn i'm about to stick it to ya in the next few weeks)
> 
> more from me:  
> friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do (finished): quick read, heavy angst with a happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work): superhero au where dan is a super villain who kidnaps phil,,, angst ensues


	10. Royal Debrief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hola, sorry i didn't update last week, it was new year's eve (as you know) and i was with my friends, unfortunately i didn't make any iron bead creations so obviously it was a complete waste of my time. 
> 
> love you all and hope you enjoy! i know where this fic is heading almost exactly now, and i'm really excited to write it and share it all with you.

Dan stalks back through the castle halls with his skin crawling and blood boiling. He's always been easily incited, but something about that meeting, something about all his secret views being validated by the masses... he could not wait until they started. 

The oppressed will protest the oppressors. 

And all the royals are absolute _scum_ , he thinks as he turns down the hall where his bedroom is located. 

All of them must know about the treatment of servants, and yet they do nothing. Even the ones that are passive and sit by-- they let it happen! And so they deserve to feel the full force of the revolution. 

Yes, Dan is excited. Scarily excited. To say the least. 

Despite wanting to throw open the door and scream from the rooftop, he quickly unlocks the door, relieved to find that Phil is still asleep. 

A little piece of Dan's fire dies when he sees the younger prince's face. His eyes are tentatively shut, his mouth curled up in a pleasant smile, his body strewn across the bed with one arm hanging off it and his hair messily distributed across his forehead. 

Dan falters at his precious face, but only for a second. 

He thinks. 

 

Dan puts on comfortable pants and takes off his jacket, crawling into bed without waking Phil. A couple weeks ago he never would have dreamed that he would be comfortable enough to fall asleep shirtless next to Phil, but now it's just routine. 

Come to think of it, Phil isn't such a bad guy. Maybe they could have been friends if this whole... thing... hadn't happened. But then again, maybe not, as Dan would have been a servant and Phil would have been getting married to whomever he wanted to. 

Though he would never admit it, Dan secretly feels bad that he inhibited Phil's chances at finding "true love". The boy really is a romantic, similarly to Dan. But Dan can let his feelings die, at least keep them under wraps. 

Phil can't. 

Dan stares out the window and across the grounds, wondering if he could climb down the ivy and just lie on the grass and look at the sky for a while. He used to do that a lot, at night, usually with a horse by his side. It felt comforting, knowing that no matter how little he mattered the sky would shine just as bright for him than it would for anyone else. 

He can barely see the sky through the window. 

But the bed is warm, and Dan won't get up. Not tonight. 

 

When Dan wakes up, sun is streaming through the window, and he has to roll over in bed so that he doesn't blind himself. Phil must be already up, the other side of the bed is empty. 

Sighing, Dan sits up, and he sees Phil standing in front of the mirror on the other side of the room. 

The other boy is running his hands through his hair, trying to straighten it. He's dressed up; wearing a decorated jacket and dress pants. 

The navy on the jacket makes his eyes look bright. Not that Dan notices. 

"Phil?" Dan calls out, before realizing that they hadn't spoke in days.

Phil, startled, turns around and looks Dan warily in the eyes, his hands swinging down from his hair and resting at his sides. After a couple more seconds of silence, he raises his eyebrows, prompting Dan to continue. 

"Oh -- I just... I was wondering if you were going anywhere today? ... Since you're so dressed up and all..." Dan murmurs, breaking eye contact.  
"Well, I am, and you are as well."  
"What?"  
"It's a debrief about the dance."

Dan groans despite himself. Who the hell thought it would be a good plan to have a dance? 

Hearing Dan's sigh of distaste, Phil keeps talking. 

"It's for the more royal royals-- my family and a couple others-- whose sons and daughters are meeting their spouses for the first time. Er-- except us, that is. We've, you know, already met."  
"Yeah, thanks Phil, I know that," Dan says, rolling his eyes, but still feeling endeared by Phil tripping over his words. 

"Yeah. Cade will meet his wife, Alexandra."

Cade's wife. Dan almost forgot that the older boy would be getting married. If they were to continue their... thing... it would be an affair.

Phil murmurs something that Dan doesn't catch. "What?"

"I said, _you probably aren't too happy about that_."

Dan swallows. "Why not?"

"Well, you two were sure going at it, weren't you," Phil says, obviously trying to make a joke but seeming a little too sad to be joking. 

Dan feels that swath of guilt again, and notices that the other boy is avoiding his eyes. He sighs quietly before speaking. 

"I didn't mean for it to go like that... I didn't ask him to kiss me, Phil! I still don't know if that's what I really wanted...." Dan's unsure if he's saying this things because he believes them or because he thinks it what Phil wants to hear. 

"Well," Phil begins, and his voice is wavering, "You sure looked like you wanted it with your arms wrapped around his neck and your eyes all fluttery and-" Phil stops talking suddenly, looking at the ground and blinking forcefully, like he's trying to clear his eyes. 

Dan's surprised by how upset the other boy looks-- it was only a kiss, for God's sake!

"Phil, why are you so upset?"

Phil looks up, all traces of sadness seemingly evaporated off of his figure. 

"Good God, you're dense, Dan Howell."

Phil shakes his head, taking a step back, and informs Dan in an even tone that the meeting will be taking place in the same hall where they first met, and that he can find his own way there. 

"If not, you can always ask my brother."

Before Dan can reply with a sigh and another 'I-really-didn't-mean-to' comment, Phil has exited the room. 

Dan pulls on an un-ironed button down, trying to make the crinkles less noticeable. Next he puts on a jacket, reasonably clean dress pants, and adjusts his hair a little bit before deeming himself ready to go. 

 

By some stroke of luck, Dan finds himself in the hallway with time to spare. Royals are milling around, looking suave and at ease while chatting to each other about trivial things and sipping fancy drinks. 

He spots Phil in the crowd, and the two make eye contact before Phil quickly looks away, going back to talking to an older man with a badly hidden receding hairline. 

Dan hears a voice behind him, and turns round to see the queen walking briskly towards him. 

"Dear, you mustn't stand like that. Go be with Phil. We'd like everyone to know that you to have settled down, Greyson." She punctuates the name, reminding him of his cover story and how he must adhere to it. 

"I don't think he wants me to stand with him..." Dan says, not sure whether he should have voiced his concerns aloud.

The queen raises an eyebrow. 

"Don't be silly, Greyson. My son would be delighted to introduce you to people. Now go."

Reluctantly, Dan shuffles off into the crowd, making his way towards the crop of black hair. 

Phil is a royal, and Dan can tell. Despite being kind hearted and a bit quirky, Phil knows how to speak, knows how to act, knows when to sip his drink or politely chuckle. He may be the lesser prince, but he is incredibly skilled at socialization and, luckily enough, he can pretend like he and Dan are in paradise with each other. 

As soon as Dan approaches him and the man he's talking to, Phil snakes an arm around his waist and gives him a warm but fake smile. 

"Mr. Glasgow, this is my fiancé, Greyson," Phil rattles it off smoothly.  
"Nice to meet you, Greyson. And where do you come from?"

Fuck. Dan never bothered to memorize anything about his cover besides his name. Luckily, Phil answers for him. 

"Fun story, actually. He's originally from Sergerdia, you know how they lost a prince, but somehow ended up working at the castle! Luckily, my parents recognized him, and obviously we couldn't just let a royal go unseen."  
"Yes, of course. But I thought you had an affinity for Princess Margaret? You talked about her often."  
"Well, Dan and I just... clicked. Everything was so perfect between us that it seemed like the natural choice for us to be married."

Phil smiles the smile again, warm but fake. Dan saw his face fall a bit when the man mentioned Margaret. Whoever she was. 

"What an excellent story, Philip. I wish you two all the happinesses!" The man smiles, and Phil thanks him. 

Dan tries to thank him too, but his words come out a bit mangled by nerves, and he stutters a bit on the first word. Embarrassed, he quickly apologizes. 

"No need to apologize Dan, you can't have learned how to behave perfectly in only a month, can you?" The man laughs, and Phil laughs with him. 

Dan manages a smile. 

"Well, it was so nice talking to you, Mr.Glasgow, but I'm afraid I need to show Dan here off to some more people!"  
"See you later, Philip."  
"Indeed."

As soon as they get out of the man's line of sight, Phil remove his hand from Dan's waist and takes a sip of his drink, sighing. 

Dan stuffs his hands in his pocket and the two just stand there for a couple of seconds, before Phil snaps into action all at once. 

Reforming his face to a smile and returning his hand to Dan's waist, he leads the other boy towards a younger looking woman. They go through the same thing as they did with the man; exchanging pleasantries, explaining Dan's story, making shallow jokes and politely waving goodbye. 

Again, as soon as they're out of her sight, Phil ends all physical contact and the forced smile drops from his face. 

Phil Lester is a really good actor. Dan feels bad that he has to act. 

Finally, the queen calls for attention and begins explaining the procedures of the dance. 

It's simple, but incredibly pompous and proper. 

Everyone lines up around the ballroom, forming a corridor with their bodies. The royals wait in the next room, their fiancés in the crowd next to the corridor. Then the royals come in, make a big show of finding their fiancé and extending their hand, and then when all the royals and their matches are in place, they dance. 

After the first song, anyone is allowed to join. 

It takes the queen over an hour to explain this somehow, and it's absolute torture. Dan can keep his head down and avoid eye contact, but he can't help but notice Phil's shift in demeanor every time someone looks his way. 

He smiles, occasionally leans towards Dan, waves. 

When they turn away his face falls, his posture drops, and he leans away. 

Dan scuffs his feet on the ground. 

 

After dinner, Phil tells Dan that he has a meeting to go to, and Dan finds his way back to the room alone. He gets into bed, staring up at the ceiling, but his thoughts plague his head and keep him from sleeping. 

Phil doesn't come in until late at night. It must be one in the morning when he returns, and Dan can't help but wonder where's he's been. 

Four nights in a row now that the other boy hadn't come back until this late. 

What could he be _doing_?

As Phil crawls into bed, he rolls over and murmurs Phil's name with the intent to ask him. 

When Phil notices he's awake, he almost jumps. His eyes are as big as saucers and a blush dusts his cheeks. 

"Phil? What were you doing?" Dan says, quietly.  
"I-- nothing," Phil replies, avoiding Dan's eyes and biting his bottom lip. 

Dan studies his face intently, and notices that his eyes are quite shiny.

Wait-- he's crying? But why? What had he been doing? Was it because of that?

Before Dan can ask anything else, however, the boy rolls over and determinedly shuts his eyes, and Dan tries to do the same. He can't keep the questions from his mind, though. 

Phil has an outside face, a smile and affection for his fiancé and pride at his status.  
Phil has an inside face too, somber and not very princely at all. 

Dan would like to know exactly what the prince is thinking about that makes him sad, that makes his eyes shine with tears, that makes him do whatever he's doing late into the night. 

Phil Lester's inside face is still a mystery to Dan. And he's determined to solve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dan is such an idiot
> 
> also what would you say if i said i was thinking about getting a tumblr?
> 
> more from me:  
> friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do (finished): quick read, heavy angst with a happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work): superhero au where dan is a super villain who kidnaps phil. angst ensues.


	11. Royal View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's pretty short but next week's chapter is one of my very favorites and will fuck you up
> 
> (buzzlester.tumblr.com ??)

Dan has gotten approximately two hours of sleep, and yet he's sitting in Mrs.Auld's whitewashed room and trying not to groan out loud when she tells him that they'll be dancing again today. 

She pulls out a clunky record player, setting it up carefully on a small table, and turns around with a bright, albeit forced, smile on his face. 

"Alright, Dan, we'll have you follow today?"

She phrases it as a question, but Dan couldn't refuse without getting in trouble. So he just holds out his arms and tries to think back to the lesson that Cade gave him. Before the kiss part, that is. 

As they begin to whirl around the room, Dan focuses on the beat of the music and moving his feet relatively in time. It's awkward to follow Mrs.Auld, because she's very much shorter than him, but he supposes when he dances with Phil, it will be less so. 

Closing his eyes a little bit, he tries to envision Mrs. Auld as Cade. 

His motions smooth over a little bit, his feet moving less carefully and his arms steady instead of twisty. 

He's dancing with Cade-- 

And then he's dancing with Phil. 

It's not a conscious decision that he makes, to pretend it's Phil whom he's spinning around with, but there the older boy stands in place of his brother, black hair and greenblueyellow eyes. 

His movements become smoother still, until he's just spinning around, content to follow somebody. 

When the song comes to a close, Dan opens his eyes and sees that Mrs.Auld is surprisingly happy with him. 

"Daniel! Such improvement, and it's only been a couple weeks!"  
"Have you been practicing with your prince?" She wiggles her eyebrows, and Dan blushes and looks down. He's been practicing with _a_ prince. 

Taking Dan's blush as a confirmation, Mrs. Auld laughs and leans closer, as if she's telling him a secret. 

"Who could resist that smile, hmm? You two are just so adorably smitten!"

Dan almost scoffs at how ridiculous the woman sounds. He is so far from smitten with Phil, and he knows that Phil feels nothing for him either. Except he's very distant lately, ever since the kiss, and Dan doesn't know what to think about that. 

Mrs. Auld laughs again, turning around to play a different song. 

 

Walking through the hallways and trying to find the courtyard to get some fresh(er) air, Dan finds himself wandering into a part of the castle that he had never been in before. It's older looking, made of clunky stone instead of gleaming marble. A hallway stretches off to the side, pleasant and homely looking with white painted wood and intricate doorways. 

Dan turns to look down the corridor, and he sees a figure turn into it from the other end. 

Both Dan and the figure stop in their tracks immediately. 

Fuck. It's Phil. 

Dan takes a couple steps backwards, walking quickly a little ways down the hall and looking out the window. Half-hoping that Phil will walk past him and half-hoping that he will stop and talk to him, Dan occupies himself with watching the horses graze. 

A pang of nostalgia echoes through him and he lets out a sigh, turning away from the window just in time to see Phil turn into the hall, movements slow and unsteady and eyes swimming with tears. 

He looks mussed, incredibly so, and his hair sticks to his forehead. 

Dan raises his eyebrows at Phil, who seems torn between talking to Dan and just briskly walking away. 

Dan would usually just wish to be left alone, but he really is kind at heart and feels bad for Phil, who is obviously trying to conceal his crying eyes. 

"Phil?" Dan says softly, and Phil just propels forwards towards him, until he's standing at the windowsill next to Dan, unsure of what to do. 

Dan can't think of any words, so he just opens his arms and takes a step closer to Phil. Things between the two have been even more strained than usual lately, but Dan isn't a dick and there's no way he's going to deny his crying fiancé a hug. 

But Phil denies himself the hug, stumbling backwards at an alarming velocity. 

"N-no, Dan, don't hug me."  
"What? I know that you're mad at me and stuff..."

Phil breathes out slowly. 

"I'm not mad at you, Dan..."  
"Then why--"  
"You don't want to hug me right now, Dan..."

"What the hell?"

"Just- um, you don't."  
"Why?"  
"Because... um..."

Phil looks like he's on the verge of saying something to Dan, but instead just turns his view to the window, looking outside at the view that Dan had been staring at previously. 

"Were you looking at the horses, Dan?" Phil asks in sweet, sugary tones. 

Dan nods, his eyes returning to Ruby, his favorite golden mare, whom he named after his mother.

"I can get the queen to let us go for a ride? If you want to..."

Dan smiles at the thought of pulling himself up onto a horse's back and closing his eyes as the animal flies through space underneath him. It's a feeling that he misses with his whole heart. 

The freedom, the forgetting, the loving of it all... Dan's heart aches with the missing of it. 

But riding with Phil? Dan isn't sure if he wants that. 

So he just shrugs, throwing out a "maybe, sometime...". He pretends he doesn't notice the slump in Phil's stature after he speaks. The boy really is dependent on him, but he won't even accept a hug?

What is going on?

Both sure out the window at the horses grazing and trotting around and braying into the sky. 

 

That night, Phil is absent from the room again, but Dan doesn't bother to wait up for him. He has a meeting to go to, after all, and he's looking forward to the fiery feeling of rebellion instead of the cool confusion of whatever the fuck was going on between him and Phil. 

He's one of the last to arrive, and everyone huddles in the corner, hushed voices and little torches. 

"Alright. So, as we've discerned, the royals won't listen to us if we act solely in peace. We take to take something from them to get something in return," Simon hisses, and muted cheers go up all around Dan. 

"Obviously, we can't exactly murder anyone at first, but that will be our last resort. We'll try to kidnap some of the higher-up royals, hold them for ransom and find some way to keep influence over them even after the royals agree to our plan."

Dan's eyes widen. He thought that the plan would include telling the royals forcefully that they wouldn't stand for this kind of treatment anymore, but Simon's suggesting "killing" and "kidnapping" and "blackmail."

Dan is overwhelmed, and he raises his arm to ask Simon in a nervous if this wasn't all too much.

Some people in the crowd murmur agreement, and Simon raises his eyebrows. 

 

The blond leader of the rebellion is annoyed at the lack of dedication in some of his cohorts, but Dan is essential to his plan. He needs to convince the boy and convince him well. 

Fortunately, Simon's honey tones are what attracted the royals to him in the first place. He is well-spoken, convincing, and knows he'll have little trouble reigniting the fire that consumed Dan a couple nights ago. 

He starts on the bruises and cuts that are giving no concern by the royals. He touches on the oppression by isolation, the public whippings that a few of them have had to endure, the severe lack of pay and horrible conditions. 

And much, much more. 

 

By the end of Simon's spiel, Dan is again enraptured by the rebellion. 

He would be glad to give any life, even his own, to the cause. 

He assures Simon that he will be taking full part in the rebellion. The older servant smiles and shakes his hand. "I'm glad, Dan. You will be an integral part of it."  
"Great."

"Alright everyone, that's it for tonight. Be careful and unsuspicious when walking back to your quarters. I will find a way to contact you when we need to meet again, until then remember to lie low and be unassuming!"

Dan walks quickly back to his room, opening the door to see that Phil is already inside, lying lazily on the bed with his shirt off. 

"O-oh!" Dan stutters.  
"What are you doing back so late?"  
"Got lost."  
"For three hours?"  
"Um. Yeah."

Phil's raises his eyebrows, and it's clear that he doesn't believe Dan, but he doesn't question him further. 

 

Questioning would be inviting questions, and Phil doesn't want to tell Dan why he wouldn't hug him, why he was in the old castle, why he skipped dinner, or why he was a sweaty mess. 

So Phil just rolls over, fluttering his eyes closed, and drifts off to sleep. 

He dreams of lips on his, but doesn't want to know who they belong to. 

Either way, they would make him feel guilty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buzzlester.tumblr.com !!
> 
> more from me:  
> friends shouldn’t kiss me like you do (finished): quick read, heavy angst with a happy ending  
> extra ordinary (work): superhero au where dan is a super villain who kidnaps phil. angst ensues.


	12. Royal Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys sorry for the late update i was in new york city at the womens march!! it was really cool
> 
> tumblr: buzzlester (come say hi!!)

Phil has decided that Dan Howell will be the death of him. 

Try as he might, he can't get the boy out of his mind. Through meetings and debriefings and walks through the halls late at night, flashes of brown eyes and messy hair fly through his mind at top speed. 

And he hates it. 

At first, the feeling was almost welcome. It was a warm sensation, something that made him blush and smile when he thought about it. 

It made butterflies stir in his stomach in the best way. 

Then, when Dan didn't reciprocate any feelings at all, the butterflies seemed to turn to lead in his stomach. He felt like he was being punched in the gut every time he saw Dan or thought about him. 

And fuck Dan for being a tease, for leading Phil on. 

Honestly, Phil still couldn't stop thinking about that night where they lay wrapped around each other. That morning, Dan had let Phil hold him, hiding a smile in his pillow. It made Phil smile from ear to ear. All through that day, no matter how many glares Dan sent his way, Phil couldn't help but feel weightless and happy. 

For the rest of that week, the floating feeling had continued, making Phil hopeful every single time Dan smiled. 

And then he and the royal family had left to castle to go to a conference. He and Cade were really only there for show, but nevertheless they were forced to listen to royals from all over discuss taxes and mandates. They were gone at least half the day. 

When they got back to the castle, Cade had retired to his room; Phil, starving, had gone to the dining hall to get some food. 

Then, he had decided to walk back to the room, making his way slowly through the halls and wondering if Dan would be in the room too, what they would say to each other. 

And then he walked in.

Sure enough, Dan was there, but not in the way that Phil had pictured. 

Dan’s arms were hooked behind a taller person's head, his form sinking into the other. For half a second, Phil didn't register what was happening. 

And then the two turned around a bit, and Phil was forced to stare at Dan making out with his brother. 

His voice must've stopped working, because he couldn't even seem to acknowledge Cade's apologies. He let his brother leave, not knowing what to say. For a second, he and Dan just looked at each other. 

Phil swore he could feel his heart break as soon as his eyes met Dan's. 

In his mind, Phil still has a clear picture of that whole event, and whenever Dan smiles at him or scoots closer to him in bed, Phil uses it to remind himself that there isn't anything between them and there never will be. 

 

Recently, Dan looks lost. He's always staring at papers, looking at Phil with confused and questioning eyes. 

When he comes back into the room late at night, he can feel Dan's stare at him sometimes. 

It makes him cry from guilt. 

But he can't stop. He can explain away his own guilt to himself, making excuses in his mind.

Dan and he aren't together, aren't in love. Their relationship is a shitty façade, and Dan proved it when he kissed Cade. 

So really, Phil isn't doing anything wrong.

Except he knows he definitely is. 

His hopeless crush grows a little bit whenever he walks in late and sees Dan sleeping, his eyes scrunched closed and his hair falling over his forehead.   
Grows a little bit when he sees Dan pull on a shirt and get it caught in his hair, exposing his stomach for a couple seconds longer.   
Grows a little bit when he sees Dan propping himself up on the windowsill, staring at the horses outside and sighing to himself. 

But it's just a crush, and nothing more. No real feelings will ever develop between the two of them, because Dan is stubborn.

 

Phil, on the other hand, is addicted. Ever since he was a kid, he's craved affection and love. 

All his pining and dreams of finding a soulmate had come from that same place. As a five year old Phil had resolved to fall in love, and as a nineteen year old he was struggling to resolve that love might not happen. 

At least, not between him and Dan.

 

The boys sit next to each other at dinner, making the same awkward, meaningless small talk as always and apologizing when they bump elbows. 

Cade comes in late, and Phil wishes that he didn't see the blooming desire in Dan's eyes. 

Dan wants Cade, Phil has to remember that. As much as he needs Dan all to himself, he knows that Dan doesn’t feel anything for him. 

As much as he wishes that Dan didn’t look at Cade like that all the time… his gaze is a reminder that there is nothing between the prince and his fiancé.

Cade sits down at the table, and immediately Dan focuses on him, tuning out the rest of the table. 

Phil lets his words fizzle out as he is talking to deaf ears. Cade smiles and waves at the two of them. Phil manages to form a tight smile that looks more like a grimace. Dan beams. 

Soon enough, Dan and Cade are talking in quiet, honey tones and Phil is buttering a roll, mad at Dan for ignoring him and mad at Cade for letting this whole thing happen especially as he knows Dan's feelings towards Phil. 

Dinner comes to a close, and most of the royals have left the dining hall. Cade and Dan are still animatedly talking about something, making slow progress on their food. 

Finished with his meal, Phil stands up from the table. Dan looks up at him, unsure of whether he should follow. 

If Phil has to walk back to the room in silence one more time, trying not to make eye contact with the boy he’s pining over, he’ll probably spontaneously combust. 

Besides, he has plans tonight. Not that he’s proud of them. 

He lies to Dan easily, telling him that his father wants to meet with him and that he’ll be back in the room late. 

Dan agrees happily, saying that he'll find his way back to the room. Cade nods, saying he can always show Dan how to get back. 

Dan and Cade share a smile, which makes Phil feel sick to his stomach as it further reminds him of his unrequited love. 

Well, not love. Nothing about this is love. And fuck, he really needs some. Right now. 

Phil walks out of the dining room with a purpose. Instead of turning to the right towards his parents quarters, however, he turns left and walks quickly away. He hates lying, especially to Dan, but there’s simply no way he could tell the other boy what he was really doing. 

Phil was going to see someone, yes, but it wasn't his father. 

He makes his way through the back halls of the castle, hoping that nobody will be walking down them.   
Turning into the old part of the castle, Phil lets out a deep breath and half-jogs down the hallway. 

He knocks three times on the unassuming white door, and in half a second it opens. 

"Did anyone see you?"  
"No."  
"You're sure?"  
"Yes."

And then an arm shoots out and drags Phil inside. An arm that belongs to a certain blonde bishop's son with a mean streak. 

Nathaniel locks the door behind them, then turns around and walks up to Phil in two short strides. 

 

They don't speak as Nathaniel makes quick work of unbuttoning Phil's shirt and sliding his hands all over Phil's chest.

They don't speak as Phil moves his hands down to unzip Nathaniel's trousers. 

They don't speak as Nathaniel lightly pushes Phil forward and they fall onto the bed. 

 

Within minutes, jackets and dress pants are discarded on the ground. Phil connects his lips with Nathaniel’s, and their bodies move together, the shades of their skin complementary. 

Nathaniel drags his nails down Phil’s chest, and Phil sucks at his neck. 

 

The two had an agreement. No strings attached. 

Except Phil had attached some strings. Too many, in fact. 

After the two are done, they lie in bed, breathing hard, both their faces flushed and pupils blown. 

Phil leans over and takes Nathaniel's jaw in his hands and leans forward to place their lips together. 

Phil wraps his arms around the other boy's back and breathes in his scent mixed with sweat. He tangles his hands in the other boy's hair and exhales. For a while, they just lie there, and Phil can pretend that this is love. 

He craves it and he will take any diluted portion of it that he can. 

He wants it so bad that he's tricked himself into believing that fucking three times a week in a spare room in some random hall counts for love. 

Somehow he thinks that the boy wrapped up in his arms in love with him, and somehow he thinks that he is in love with the boy. 

It's all he has and so it's all he can know. 

After a while, the two disentangle themselves, back to silence as they put clothes back on. 

Before they leave the room and go their separate ways, Phil checks the hall and makes sure that nobody is there. 

"Sunday?" Nathaniel says as they check the room to make sure that it's as clean as it can be.   
"Alright," Phil agrees, nodding at the other boy and turning down the hallway to make his way back to his own room.

Well, his and Dan's. But he doesn't like to think about Dan on these days. 

 

He opens the door, walking inside and immediately peeling off his sticky shirt. He looks towards the bed, thankful that Dan seems to be asleep. He changes quickly, shakes out his hair in an attempt to make it seem like he's made it messy on purpose. 

He doesn't worry about his flushed cheeks or dilated eyes. They can sort themselves out while he sleeps. 

Phil slips into their bed, facing Dan, and the other boy shifts in his sleep, blowing a strand of hair out of his face a little bit. 

Tears prick Phil's eyes and he feels so beyond guilty... But hadn't Dan done the same thing?

No, he hadn't. Because it was just a kiss and he and Cade didn't kiss again and Phil is... Well, Phil is doing much more than kissing and he's done it much more than once, in fact, he'll be doing it again two days from now. 

Dan rolls over a little bit in his sleep, until Phil can feel ghosts of Dan's skin on his. 

If he closed his eyes, he could maybe pretend that he was getting into bed with his fiancé whom he loved.   
He could maybe pretend that Dan was about to move closer and envelope him with his arms. 

But he doesn't close his eyes and he can't sleep. 

Sure, Dan might've moved closer to him in his sleep, but he would never move closer if he was awake. 

"He won't love you," Phil murmurs to himself in the dark, "Not now, and not ever."

Phil rolls over so that his back faces the other boy. 

He dreams of Nathaniel but then it's Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops
> 
> more from me:  
> extra ordinary- superhero au where dan is a villain who kidnaps phil  
> friends shouldn't kiss me like you do- short guy in which dan is confused about his feelings n shit
> 
> tumblr: buzzlester (come say hi!!)


	13. Royal Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: buzzlester (come say hiii!)
> 
> i hope you enjoy this ?? it's a pretty angsty ride from here... (until it's not lmao)

Dan doesn't know why he waits for Phil that night, but he does. 

He stares at the ceiling, occupying his mind as he wonders when the older boy will open the door and walk silently inside. 

Except that never happens. At two in the morning Phil still hasn't come back, and Dan finally decides that it's not worth the wait. Not that he knows exactly what he's waiting for. Or why he's waiting. 

 

When he wakes up, Phil is nowhere to be found again. Dan does notice, however, that his side of the bed has been slept on. 

Slipping out from underneath the covers and pulling on clothes lazily, Dan quotes his thoughts as he tries to straighten his hair with his hands. Sadly, it doesn't work out. 

He walks through the halls to breakfast alone, tired. 

He steps through the double doors into the dining room, lazily moving towards the food table and loading his plate. 

Phil is sitting in his designated seat at the table, and Dan sits down next to him, resisting his urge to question the boy about his whereabouts. Instead, he starts eating his grits, dousing them in honey and causing a duke to raise an eyebrow at him. 

"So..." Phil starts, his voice low and scratchy, "How are you?"

It's mindless smalltalk, and Dan knows it. But talking about things that don't matter is better than talking about nothing at all. After all, they have an appearance to keep up. And Phil is particularly skilled at keeping up his appearance. 

He could be lying to Dan about all kinds of things, and Dan wouldn't even know it. But Phil doesn't really seem like the lying type. 

"I'm good, and you?"  
"Good. The eggs are nicely fried this morning."  
"I didn't get any, shall I?"  
"If you want. They're good, like I said."

Talking about eggs with his fiancé because they have nothing else to say to each other is something that Dan never thought he would be doing. 

"Alright. I might go get some."

And Dan's about to stand up to do just that when Cade walks in. 

Dan is still confused about his feelings for the older prince. Cade is tanned, beautiful, with sparkly eyes and diamond white teeth. His voice is low and his feet are sure and he isn't confusing. 

He's easy to talk to, and he and Dan talk about things the than breakfast food. 

But something about the boy throws Dan a little bit. He is too powerful, too forceful. He makes Dan feel less. And that's not a good feeling. 

Not wanting to deal with the confusion that Cade brings, Dan asks Phil if he's done. 

Phil looks up at Dan in surprise. Usually, Dan just leaves by himself or stays to talk to Cade. He's never once asked Phil to walk with him since his first day in the castle. Phil clears his throat and nods. 

Maybe the younger prince isn't flashy, but he's there all the same. In an alternate universe, maybe the two could be friends. 

Just not in this one. 

Phil takes Dan's arm as they walk out of the dining call, eliciting a few "aww"s from the royals around them. Phil smiles courteously. 

The hard thing about being around Phil is that Dan can never tell when he's acting. 

They walk through the double doors and into the hallway beyond, but are stopped immediately by the king. 

"Philip, Daniel."  
"Father."  
"...Sir..."

"Please excuse me, Daniel, but I need to have a word with my son."

Phil's eyes widen. Dan steps back, confused. Hadn't Phil just met with his father yesterday?

Dan is about to voice his concern, but Phil quickly takes his father's arm and says goodbye. 

The two walk off at a brisk pace. Dan decides to go back to the room and try to occupy himself until something interesting happens. With every day that goes by, Dan gets closer and closer to caving in and accepting Phil's offer to go riding. 

Despite having to spend extended periods of time with Phil, at least Dan would be able to leave the goddamn castle. 

 

Phil, walking through the halls with his father, is apprehensive. In all his years, the king has never once complimented him, and Phil can't fathom him suddenly starting that up now. 

Flitting through the back of his mind is the nagging worry that his father could have figured _it_ out... And that would end with both Phil and Nathaniel being practically exiled. 

The king stops at a smaller golden door, opening it and nodding for Phil to go first. 

It's his office of sorts, and organized tax deals and treaties lie on the desks along with pretentious looking crowns that the king has had made for him. 

He sits down at his desk, and motions for Phil to sit down across from him. Phil does so, moving nervously and wringing his hands together. 

"Philip, we have much to talk about today," The king says, spreading his arms.  
"...What about?"  
"Impatience is not a virtue, Philip."  
"Apologies."  
"Of course. We may as well go on with it."

A pause. 

"Philip, I'm just going to say it-- these past few months have been severely disappointing."

"What?"

The king opens his mouth to speak again, his brows furrowed meanly and his hands clasped tight on the table. Phil braces himself. He has had his father look at him like this a couple times before, and it can only mean one thing. 

Phil's fucked up. Badly. 

The king begins to speak, his words cold and full of malice. 

He speaks of the rumors going around the castle, of Phil's routine disappearances.  
He berates Phil for not keeping up better appearances, for not spreading Dan's fake backstory enough.  
He yells at Phil for sipping dance lessons (no matter that Phil has been taking them since he was three), and he shakes his head at Phil's "newfound bad mannerisms".

And through this all, Phil can keep his head held up high. He can shoulder these things. He can go back to dance, keep by Dan more and see Nathaniel less. 

But then, the king opens his mouth to speak in a much colder, much meaner tone. 

"Your brother is already seeking to help around the castle. Have you noticed that he is training the guard alongside me? Your brother is engaging himself in royal activities. Your brother is learning his steps and will dance perfectly with his fiancee at the dance. Your _brother_ will make the perfect king, Philip."

Phil looks down, trying to calm himself, but his father is not finished. 

"If only I had two sons like Cade... My life would be made much easier. I know you think I'm being cruel and unjust towards you, Philip, but you must live up to the standards that the world has created for you. And right now... I almost wish that you weren't my son."

Phil has never felt fondly towards his father, but those words strike him through the heart. 

He is able to wish his own son away so easily. His malicious words flow off his tongue with ease. 

Phil can feel his jaw drop, tears springing to his eyes. 

Phil, the youngest son, forsaken by his father, his mother, his brother, his meant-to-be lover. 

He gets up, uncaring of whether his father thinks him to be rude in this moment. Not glancing back, he strides out into the corner. Letting a couple tears stream down his cheek, he leans his head up against the clean marble, closing his eyes. 

In past moments like these, Phil was always able to lean on his future like a crutch. He was able to pretend that one day someone would love him enough to find him and dry his tears.

Too bad Dan doesn't care enough. 

Phil slumps over, letting his hair cover his forehead, thinking about all the times his father has made him feel less.

 

That's when the anger strikes. He can't get past how openly his father had forsaken him. He can't break away from the tracks of his father's voice in his head, telling him that his worth is much lower than that of his brother's. 

He walks quickly through the castle, his sudden anger builds and boils within him. 

 

Dan has been alternating between lying on the bed and staring at the window for about an hour, and now he's on his fifth shift at the window. It's rainy and dreary, and the horses have been taken inside, so Dan is watching the rain fall down the turrets. 

Needless to say, he's incredibly bored, but there's not a lot he can do. 

He could go back to the dining hall, but frankly he doesn't want to socialize with an intimidatingly beautiful guy and a bunch of dukes. He could go to the courtyard, but he honestly doesn't want to get wet (ever). 

Waiting for Phil seems like the only conceivable plan, except for the fact that Phil isn't that fun anyway. Wallowing in the older boy's angst beats staring at wet grass, however. 

And by some godsend, the door swings open and in walks the troubled prince himself. 

Except he's not exactly as Dan predicted. His face is screwed up in anger, and he immediately starts swinging his fists at inanimate objects. It's incredibly unnerving, especially coming from the usually mild Phil. 

"Fuck you for caring more about your stupid crowns than you do about your son!"

Oh, _oh_.

Dan's heart could break for the boy. Phil had spoken before about feeling unwanted by his father, but Dan had never experienced the effects before. 

"Fuck you for not loving your wife as much as you should!"

Phil takes a swing at a nearby window, fracturing the glass at the surface. Dan's eyes widen as his body instinctively shrinks back. 

"Fuck you for caring too much about your throne and not enough about your family!"  
"Fuck you for dragging me to conferences just to show me off!"  
"Fuck you for making me feel like shit even when I've not done anything wrong!"

With each scream of frustration, Phil breaks more and more of the glass, until finally his fist goes through it. Dan can't help but to gasp, making Phil whip his head up and notice him. 

For a second, Phil's gaze softens, and then his jaw clenches and hot, angry tears start spilling out of his eyes. 

"Fuck you, Dan Howell, for falling in love with my brother, just like everybody else!"

Dan's eyes widen. "I didn't-- I'm not--"

But Phil is quicker than Dan's words, and the older boy strides across the room and looks Dan straight in the face. 

Tiny drops of blood spill from nicks on Phil's knuckles. 

"Dan..." Phil trails off, his voice sounding sad and sweet but his expression looking desperate and angry. 

Unsure of how to proceed, Dan takes a tentative step forward. 

Phil does too, but his arms are moving too, looping around Dan's neck and pulling their lips together. 

Phil's lips are warm and chapped and Dan squeals in surprise. It's heated, passionate, desperate in a confusing way. It feels wrong and right at the same time, and Dan's mind gets messy. 

He isn't sure when he starts kissing back.  
Or when he pushes Phil away and steps back.  
Or when he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, as if he's disgusted by Phil's kiss. 

He isn't. He's just confused. 

"Tell me that didn't feel right," Phil says, a sob heavy in his words.  
"I--" Dan starts, but he can't find the words to explain the feeling. 

Th anger is wiped off of Phil's face, and all that's left is his raw emotions, shining with the tears in his eyes, rolling with the desperation in his stance, trembling with the wanting in his hands. 

Phil steps back, his hands coming up to stop Dan from moving closer to him. 

"I'm sorry, oh my god, I'm so sorry, Dan..."  
"It's- it's okay..." Dan manages to stutter out, but he's not sure that it is.  
"You wiped your mouth," Phil whispers, and Dan isn't sure if he meant to say it aloud. 

"Phil, I swear, we can just forget about it and-"

"I can't forget it, Dan! Don't you get it?!"

And with that, Phil turns on his heels and rushes out of the room, not bothering to shut the door behind him. 

Dan stares at a drop of blood on the ground and tries to think about anything else besides Phil's warm lips and hot tears. 

 

He can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buzzlester.tumblr.com 
> 
> more from me:  
> extra ordinary- superhero au where super villain dan kidnap phil  
> friends shouldn't kiss me like you do- (heavy) angst songfic with a happy ending


	14. Royal Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who closed safari without saving this twice

Dan sits in the dark, the cold air biting at his cheeks as he pulls his coat tightly around him. 

It's the middle of the night, and a sleep-deprived Dan is at a meeting. Dozens of servants huddle around him, talking and cheering in hushed toes as Samuel works them up into a frenzy. 

Dan is not exactly paying attention. He looks at his shoes, pulls at his coat sleeves, scuffs his feet on the ground. 

His thoughts are flying from the courtyard, through the halls, and into a room where a boy with black hair is asleep. 

Dan and Phil have barely spoken since the "incident".

That day, Phil had entered the room with a dark air around him. His eyes were hard and downcast, his body almost shaking. The words that spilled from his lips were full of contempt and anger, and Dan couldn't deny that the prince had scared him. 

Especially when those lips smashed against Dan's. 

Dan, confused, had let Phil kiss him. He may have eve kissed back. But something about it was wrong. The kiss was desperate and needy and forced. The hands around his neck didn't feel like he thought Phil's hands would. They were stiff, cold. 

Everything was. 

As far as Dan is concerned, Phil doesn't have any real feelings for him. Dan thinks that Phil is mad at him because he took the place of a fiancé that Phil would truly love. Dan is sure that the kisses and the tears and the anger all come from a place within Phil that Dan cannot explain. 

Phil only breaks for Dan because Dan is there. If he wasn't there, Phil would just find someone else to kiss. There are no feelings involved where Phil is concerned. Dan will not let himself believe otherwise. 

Dan had pushed him back in a desperate burst of confusion that day, and when Phil had seen the apprehensive look that Dan wore, he had almost started crying. 

Dan could see the desperation flow out of him al at once, until all that was left was just Phil. Phil and his wide, crying eyes, half-open mouth, hurried apologies. Phil had run, and Dan had not followed him. 

He had told Phil that they could just forget it, but as it turned out neither of them could. 

Dan could see the memory in Phil's eyes every time they looked at each other. 

The words that the two boys exchanged were empty. 

Good morning, goodnight, can you please pass me the water pitcher, your shirt's untucked. 

And still, whenever Dan said a word to Phil, no matter how meaningless, the boy seems to have an emotional breakdown. Sometimes Dan wakes up in the middle of the night and Phil is not in bed. 

Sometimes he's standing by the window which he broke that day, staring out of it with a hopeless expression.  
Sometimes he's breathing hard, fists shuddering, looking like he's about to punch another hole in it.  
Sometimes he's leaning against the wall, looking up at the ceiling with a blush coloring his cheeks.  
Sometimes he's leaning against the wall crying. 

And sometimes, he's not in the room at all. Phil started disappearing at random times a couple months ago, but ever since the incident it seems he sleeps outside of their room more than he sleeps in it. 

 

Samuel's voice brings Dan back to reality. 

"...Prince Phil will do nicely," the blond says, and the crowd murmurs assent. 

Fuck, Dan really should've been listening.

"Don't you think so, Dan?" Samuel turns to him, and so does the crowd. 

"Um... I'm sorry, sir, I must've... been thinking about something else? I didn't hear you..."

Luckily, Samuel laughs instead of getting annoyed. 

"Well, we were thinking of which royal would make the easiest first target."

Dan coughs involuntarily, eyes widening. Target? Did they mean...? "...You want to _kill_ him?"

Samuel chuckles. "Well, not exactly."

Not exactly? Dan brings his hand into his hair, itching at the back of his neck in an attempt to calm himself. He never believed that making a plot against the royals would help Phil out, but he _never_ thought that they would be killing the prince. 

"Not exactly...?" Dan asks, eyes flitting all over the courtyard and hands twitching by his sides.  
"He's quite kind, quite easily persuaded. Kidnapping him would make a statement without destroying the royal family... yet."

Oh. So they wanted to kidnap Phil. Dan nods slowly, fabricating a smile so that the crowd is sated. 

"After all, the youngest prince isn't marrying anybody important to the royal family, though quite important to us!"

Laughter goes up in the crowd, and Dan squints his eyes so that it looks like he is laughing along with them. 

A couple servants murmur comments about Phil. Dan looks down and tries not to listen, but he can't exactly help it. It's confusing how much contempt the servants hold for the royals. 

So much contempt that any qualities are discounted. The servants hate royals that are rude to them, but they make fun of Phil for being sweet and thankful. They hate royals who take themselves too seriously, but they laugh about how clumsy Phil is. 

Something about it makes Dan's blood boil. 

One servant nudges him, jeering. 

"Are you partial to 'im, Dan?" 

It's a joke, and everyone laughs. They joke, because why would Dan ever be partial to a _royal_? Why would Dan ever feel anything for the youngest prince?Why would Dan ever want him?

Dan halfheartedly smiles, assuring them that he doesn't care about the youngest prince. He feels like shit. Of course he cares about Phil, he always has. Maybe everything between them is confusing, but Dan has to admit that Phil matters to him. Somehow. Just not... In the way that Phil wants. 

The funny thing is, six months ago Dan would've sat in this crowd of servants and allowed himself to make fun of Phil. He would've encouraged the servants to kidnap the prince, he probably wouldn't have cared all too much if they decided to do more than kidnap him. 

Six months ago, Dan was full of hate for everyone in the castle. 

Now, he's just confused. Confused about his feelings for Phil and for Cade. Confused about the kiss and the broken window and the dance. Confused as to why Phil keeps disappearing and why he feels uncomfortable around Cade. 

He wonders if the servants saw what he sees... Would they feel different? Or is it just Dan's own feelings fucking everything up?

Dan isn't brave enough to say it, maybe he isn't brave enough t admit it to himself, but Phil means a lot more to him than anyone knows. 

He tries to keep his thoughts and ears on Samuel for the rest of the meeting, and listens closely as they finalize the plan. 

It will happen on the night of the dance. Somehow, they will get Phil out of the castle and bring him a long way away. Then, the servants who will be working the party will send out a signal. 

Any servants that can abandon their posts in the castle will move and get in position. 3 servants will have a gun pointed at the chest of a royal. 

They have decided to kill three people, people who are important but not imperative to the castle. A lord, a baron, and his wife. Dan recognizes a few names of people that Phil has introduced him to. 

The killing is not something that Dan can excuse, but he must. He will not speak up, because if he does people could think that he's with the royals. The servants would be ruthless towards him if they thought that he cared about his prince more than he did about their freedoms. 

After they kill the royals and get the attention of the castle, Samuel will step forward and address the king and queen. He will confirm that Phil has been kidnapped and that they will kill him if the royals refuse to make arrangements. 

All the servants agree that the plan is reasonable, and their cheers have to be quieted a couple times. 

As for Dan, the boy is unsure. He can't wrap his mind around killing people. 

And what if the royals do refuse to comply? Then what?

Because he sure as hell isn't letting Phil be killed. 

 

He owes that much to the boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr- buzzlester! come say hi!!
> 
> i lov u


	15. Royal Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(:

Phil keeps his head down as he speeds through the halls of the castle. His body shakes with nerves. Every time he does this, Phil is irrationally afraid that he will get caught. 

Phil is a good liar, but there's one person that he's sure he would never be able to lie to. Dan Howell has caught him walking down these halls before, and he very nearly had a heart attack. 

The guilt is overwhelming whenever he's near Dan, especially when he catches the boy's brown eyes as he leaves the room. 

He had tried to dress and leave the room to go meet Nathaniel before Dan got back from wherever he was, but Phil had had no such luck. Dan had looked at him sideways, asking where he was going in a soft voice. 

It was all Phil could do not to cry. 

And now, speed walking through the halls and into the stone part of the castle, letting his feet lead the way because he knows it by heart... The guilt feels like it's eating him alive. 

Nathaniel opens the door, pulling him inside and into a deep kiss that Phil sighs into. His hand shoots back to shut the door, and he moves his hands up to Nathaniel straight blonde locks. The low light from the lamp glints off of his eyelashes, making them sparkle. 

 

Nathaniel is beautiful, no doubt about it. The boy is scared, his touches feather-light against Phil's skin. He is scared of himself, of what he wants. He is scared because the words he speaks to other people don't match the thoughts in his head. 

But something is always wrong between the two of them. They try to find other people in each other's kisses, they pretend that the lust between them is love between them and other's. 

They are lost, and if they can feel found, even for an hour once a week, they will do anything for it. 

 

Even if when all is said is done they lie wrapped up in each other, tears decorating their cheeks, staring at the ceiling. 

Phil rolls over, pressing into Nathaniel and letting the blonde duck into his neck. Both boys will their tears to dry as they squeeze their eyes shut. 

Nathaniel wraps his warm arms around Phil's waist, and Phil pretends that the boy next to him has curly brown locks instead of bleach blonde strands. As long as his eyelids remain shut, he can let himself keep believing it. 

After a couple minutes, Nathaniel shifts beneath him. 

"Phil... We should probably go... Dinner soon."  
"I... Yeah."

They are so to disentangle themselves, limbs catching in limbs as they move apart. They pull on clothes hurriedly, looking in mirrors and trying to appear acceptable. Phil sighs as he buttons up his shirt, trying to quiet the shaky breaths in his throat. 

Nathaniel gives him a quick kiss, smiling sadly. "Sunday?"  
"Sunday." Phil replies. 

They both know, when they look at each other, that there is no love between them. There is just a sense of lost hope, a need that they know there's only way to fulfill. 

"And Nathan?" Phil adds, making the other boy turn. "Good luck, okay? With..."  
"You too, Phil."

No words need to be spoken between them to know that they want someone else. 

"I'll go out first. I'll motion for you if it's clear."  
"Right. Okay."

 

Phil walks out into the hall, looking around carefully. He's about to turn around and motion for Nathaniel to come out of the room, but he hears footsteps down the hall. _Not Dan, not Dan, not Dan_ , Phil thinks as he tries to make it look like he's walking down the hall. 

The figure turns into the hall, a petite woman. 

_Thank God,_ Phil thinks, before taking a closer look and realizing he may have spoken too soon. 

His heart races when he sees his mother, salt and pepper hair piled on top of her head. He feels like a deer in the headlights and makes a guttural noise in his throat, hoping beyond hope that Nathan doesn't leave the room. 

Striding forward to meet her, Phil's eyes flick from left to right worriedly. 

"Phil?" She says, but her voice sounds different in her throat. She doesn't sound scolding or serious, but more motherly. She brings her hand up to rest on Phil's shoulder, nearly making him jump. 

Her eyes are downturned, almost sad looking. 

"Yes, mother?" Phil says, wincing at how weak his voice sounds. 

The queen's gaze softens. "Phil..."

Phil's body goes stiff, bracing himself for the worst, when the worst really does occur. A low, grainy voice echoes through the hallway, quiet but loud enough to be heard by both Phil and his mother. 

"Phil? Is it clear?" The voice asks, and...

Phil gulps as Nathaniel steps tentatively into the hallway, and looks down quickly as the other boy catches sight of the queen. 

"Your majesty! I-- I..." Nathaniel turns on his heels and almost sprints out of the hallway, his hair mussed and his cheeks dusted bright pink. It's almost _painfully_ obvious what they've been doing. 

"Oh, sweetheart..."

The queen's hand tightens on Phil's shoulder, but she doesn't look angry. In fact, she looks... sad?

"Mother, I can explain, please just let me--" Phil starts, his cheeks rapidly reddening and tears threatening to prick at his eyes.  
"You don't need to explain, Phil. I know what's going on. I knew what was going on before I saw Mr. Bishop leave the room."  
"I'm so, so sorry..." Phil tries, but he is cut off again. 

His mother wraps her arm around his shoulders, looking him in the eyes with a small smile. 

"I'm not mad, son. I... I understand why you would do it."  
"What do you mean?  
"I just want you to be careful, alright? Don't get caught up in anything."  
"What?"  
"Phil, you and I are more alike than you think. I was young once, too. I was to be married to your father, and I... I thought somehow that I could prevent it."  
"You mean...?"  
"Phil, I want you to know something."

There is silence for a few seconds. 

"No matter what it may seem like... I care about you so much, Phil. You're my son." She looks Phil in the eyes, smiling as she shakes her head slowly. "My son, and not his."

Suddenly, everything falls into place. The greenish shades in his eyes, the way his father seems to have a built in hatred for him. 

"Mother?"  
"Phil... you and I are more alike than you know. I, too, am a slave for love, hmm?"

With that, she swishes out of the hall so quickly that Phil would be sure that he was hallucinating if the smell of her perfume hadn't stayed in the air. While it was comforting to know more about his mother, and that she wouldn't tell anybody about... everything... she didn't really leave him with much advice. 

Instead of sitting in the abandoned corridor and reflecting on it more, Phil decides to head back to the room. 

 

He walks in without a warning. Dan lets out a yelp when he sees Phil, stuffing a paper into his pocket. Phil, not wanting to question Dan or be questioned by him, pretends not to see him. 

"Hi, Dan..." Phil says, his voice soft and tired. 

Dan looks up at him, an unplaceable expression on his face, and then looks back towards the ground without replying. Oh, well. At least Phil had tried. 

Dan turns around, once again staring longingly out the window at the grazing horses below. It seems like every single time he and Phil have a conversation, Dan turns to the window to try to get out of it. 

Usually, Phil would leave him alone and stare at the cabinet while thinking everything over, but there is something different about tonight.

"Dan?" he says again, moving closer to the younger boy and looking at him sideways. 

Dan only hums in response, but at least he didn't flat out ignore Phil this time.

Dan's face is slightly lit up by the orange light of the setting sun, reflecting in his eyes and giving him a sharp profile. He stares out at the horses with so much loving and longing in his eyes, eyes carefully tracking their moves as if he's done it thousands of times. 

"We really need to get you out on those horses..." Phil muses, unsure as to why he's suddenly trying so hard with Dan.  
"...I guess." Dan says, shrugging his shoulders and leaning further into the window pane. His voice is small, unsure, and if it was anyone other than Dan, Phil would immediately ask them what's wrong. 

Phil breathes in, fluttering his eyelashes shut as if he's psyching himself up for something. 

"Dan," he starts, then he stutters, obviously changing the subject and his train of thought. "Uh-- the dance is soon."  
"Too bad I still can't dance," Dan quips half-heartedly and smiles despite himself. 

Phil fall into thought for a half-second, then, with a blush, steps forwards towards Dan. "Um-- I'm... You know... My brother isn't the only prince who knows how to dance, Dan..."

Its a clear invitation, and yet Dan seems to take half a century to figure out what Phil is asking him. 

"Oh!" he finally says, a blush blossoming on his cheeks. "I was... I was joking. I'm-- I'm fine. Don't need, you know, I mean..."  
"It's okay," Phil assures quietly. 

It isn't, though, not really. It's painfully obvious that Dan feels nothing for him. He dresses easily, pulling on a coat and not even exchanging a word with Phil before he leaves the room. And, of course, at dinner he and Cade talk easily, a pink blush seemingly tattooed on Dan's face. 

Phil excuses himself early, which seems to be happening too much as of late. 

He leaves the dining hall, head down, and walks through the corridors with anger brewing in his stomach. His long coat furrows out behind him, making him look like the picture of royalty. 

As luck would have it, Nathaniel turns into a corridor right across from Phil. He runs fingers through his hair and blinks forcefully, as if trying to keep from crying. 

"Nathan!" Phil yells, for once not caring about protecting his fucking image.  
"Phil?" the blonde whips around, frantically wiping the glittery tears off of his cheeks.  
"Rough night?" Phil says, gesturing at his own appearance to let the boy know that he isn't alone.  
"A little."  
"Do you want to--"  
"We've already-- And the queen?"  
"I worked it out, everything's fine. I need to..."  
"I do too."

Without talking about it further, with boys turn around and begin walking towards the stone corridor with the white door. 

"Thank God we're both so fragile," Nathaniel jokes, and Phil laughs. The joke hits a little too close to home, however, and they both know it. 

They round the familiar corner, Phil entering the room first and almost crying as he sees the already messy sheets and tilted mirrors. 

"Are you okay?" Phil asks softly, and Nathaniel smiles sadly at him.  
"No. But I will be, at least for a little while."  
"Cheers to that," Phil says without any enthusiasm, and then the boys cash into each other, lips first. 

 

Nathaniel leaves first, the boys decide that they should leave through different doors because of that morning's fiasco. He goes through the back, and after waiting a couple of tedious minutes, Phil leaves through the front. 

As soon as he steps through the doorframe, he wishes that he hadn't. Right in front of him is a tall, tanned figure with the brownest eyes in the world. Dan Howell is shock-silent, his eyes wide as he takes in Phil's surely disheveled form. 

"Dan?" he says, his voice thin and whispery. His heart pounds so loud in his chest that he's sure the other boy can hear it.  
"Phil?" Dan asks in the exact same tone, before his face morphs from disbelief to something else. 

"Phil, what the hell?!"  
"Dan, please calm down, listen, I..."  
"You _what_?!"  
"I..."

"That's what I thought. Really, Phil? Nathaniel, of all people?"  
"Dan, you don't understand, I--"  
"--Oh, no, I understand all too well. I'm not allowed to even look your brother's way, but you can do whatever the hell you want whenever you want it? Is that it?"  
"I never said you couldn't look my brother's way!"  
"Well you act like a lost fucking puppy whenever I so much as say a _word_ to him!"  
"You kissed him right in front of me, Dan!"  
"Stop it right now, Phil! That was different, and you know it!"

"How?"  
"How was it different?! Oh, let me count the ways! It happened _once_ , we just fucking kissed, and we both apologized afterwards!"

There is silence. 

"Dan, I'm sorry..."  
"Like hell you are, Phil! What do you want, for me to just want you all the time so that you can have all the fucking guys on this side of earth after you? Does it insult you that my whole life doesn't revolve around you?"

 _Yes, because my whole life revolves around you,_ Phil thinks, but he just tries to make an excuse. 

"No! Nathan and I-- we aren't--"  
"Nathan?!"  
"Fuck, sorry, I just--"  
"Just _what_ , Phil?"

No matter what the brunet said, he had no right to make Phil feel this way. Not when it was Dan's own actions (or lack thereof) that had led Phil to do this in the first place. Phil allows himself a moment to feel the anger burning him up, but suddenly it's just replaced by sadness. 

Phil is so fucking tired, tired of pretending to be happy, smiling and introducing Dan, watching Dan move far away from him and stop talking to him...

Dan has no right to be angry. If this is what Phil has to do to distract himself, he's damn well going to do it. When Phil speaks, his voice is choked and full of emotion, his words crash over him with no regard for logic or plans. 

"I just wanted to feel something besides let down! I just wanted a _little bit_ of love so that I could find it within myself to sleep next you at night!" Phil takes a step forward, making Dan's offensive expression change to one of slight fear and confusion. 

Phil continues, "I wanted someone to hold me and kiss me and love me, because you don't, Dan. Not. At. All." he jabs his finger in the air with each word. 

Dan scoffs. "And you think he loves you, Phil, is that right?"

"Don't, Dan. You have no idea about what goes between the two of us. It's none of your business what I do when I'm lonely."  
"He doesn't love you!"

There is silence, and then Phil just shakes his head in disbelief. "And you do, Dan?" his voice is unwavering, not shy at all, and he takes a couple of steps back as tears pool in his eyes. 

"Phil... I..." Dan no longer knows what to make of the situation.  
"Yeah. That's what I thought."

Phil throws those words over his shoulder as he retreats down the hallway, his coat swishing behind him. Despite looking like the picture of royalty, Phil Lester has more depth than the seven seas. 

 

Dan watches as Phil turns and goes down a flight of stairs, disappearing form his view entirely. He follows the boys steps, walking by the stairs and back to their room. 

He watches out of his window again, staring at the horses as usual. But, today there is something else that his eyes stay trapped on. Phil is riding one of Dan's favorite horses, Blue, and he looks stunning in the starlight. 

He obviously knows how to handle a horse, and despite his quick pace around the field he looks like the picture of control. 

Dan is inexplicably confused, angry, and sad. 

 

Something in his heart aches for the boy on the horse. Something about what he said in that doorway stirred something within Dan. Even though he doesn't know what stirred, somehow, at the back of his mind, he realizes it. 

'It' being the the one thing he's never understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tumblr if you'd like! @buzzlester :))
> 
> & check out my other fics!!
> 
> i love you all :))


	16. Royally Fucked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is one of my favorite chapters so i hope you enjoy!!

It's the middle of the night, and Dan is practically sprinting through the halls of the castle. 

He wasn't going to do this. He shouldn't be doing this. But his thoughts had been eating him alive. Every single time Phil had left the room in the past two weeks since Dan had found out, he had felt an overwhelming urge to follow him. 

Just to make sure that he wasn't going to see Nathaniel. 

Whenever Dan settles down to go to sleep, the words Phil yelled at him in the hall that day play on an endless loop in his head. 

But tonight, he found himself completely unable to go to sleep. 

Figuring out where to go had been easy. 

Stalking through the castle halls in the wee hours of the night wasn't a strange feeling to Dan. 

But when he gets to his destination... He has no idea what he'll say, what he'll do. If he's being honest with himself, he can't even think of a good reason to go in the first place. By the time he begins to reconsider, however, he's already at the door. 

The door to Nathaniel's room. Phil isn't here, Dan's sure, as the boy is asleep back in their room. 

So he knocks, bringing his fist down quietly. There is no answer. 

Suddenly, it occurs to Dan that Nathaniel may very well be asleep this late at night. Almost thankful for the turn of events, Dan collects himself and is about to turn around when he hears footsteps coming from the other side of the door. 

The knob opens, and a sleepy face stares up at him. 

Nathaniel's mouth drops into an "O" as soon as he sees that Dan is at his door, but his surprise quickly turns to anger. 

"What are you doing here?!" he whisper-shouts, voice filled with venom. 

Dan all but forces himself inside the room, closing the door behind him. He can't help but think that Phil and Nathaniel have probably done this exact thing so many times. Except Dan isn't here to fuck Nathaniel. 

Honestly, he's not really sure what he _is_ here for.

The two stand in the middle of the room, the only light being the moon. Dan stares at the blonde for a couple seconds, trying to plan what he's going to say, but instead he just starts to speak. 

"Do you love him?" he blurts out, his voice sounded mangled and confused in the open air.  
"What?" Nathaniel hisses, eyes flicking away from Dan's as if he's trying to figure out exactly what Dan knows.  
"Do you love him?" Dan repeats, trying to make his voice stronger.  
"I don't know what you're-"  
"Just answer me! Do you love him?!"

Nathaniel pauses, cocking his head as he squint this eyes. "Do I love _who_...?"

Dan hadn't said, but he thought it would be fairly obvious. 

"Do you love Phil?" Dan asks, and Nathaniel's eyebrows shoot up. He splutters, as if unsure what to say. Nathaniel doesn't know that Dan knows about their secret, and so he decides to play it safe. 

"Phil? Like, the prince?"  
"Yeah, the guy you fuck on Sunday nights-- or whenever you need a pick-me-up..."

Nathaniel's mouth drops open comically, and he seems to lose his voice for a couple of seconds. 

"H-how did you figure it out?"  
"Does it matter?" Dan asks, taking a step closer to the boy and trying to look menacing. "Answer my damn question, alright?"  
"I don't know what you mean..."

"Just tell me whether you love him or not!" Dan practically shouts.

 

Nathaniel pauses, looking at Dan confusedly. 

"Do I... love Phil? No, of course I don't." He acts as if this is perfectly acceptable, as if this piece of information won't make Dan even more mad.

He is mistaken. 

"Phil is giving you _everything_ and you don't feel anything for him?! What is wrong with you? If Phil actually feels like... this... for you... then you _have_ to love him back! Phil's... he doesn't deserve to get hurt by some asshole like you!"

Dan takes steps closer and closer while he speaks, and by the end of his short speech he's almost cowering above the blonde. He doesn't know why he's so angered by the fact that Nathaniel doesn't love Phil, but something about it makes his blood boil. 

"Calm down, okay?" Nathaniel says, his eyes giving away how nervous he is.  
"Why should I calm down if you--"  
"Just listen!"

There is a moment of silence, and then Nathaniel takes a breath before he speaks. 

"I don't love Phil... And he doesn't love me either. This... thing... it's just an agreement. We both know that we don't feel anything for each other..."  
"Phil cries over you, Nathaniel!" Dan hisses, and in the moment he is sure it's true. 

Nathaniel narrows his eyes, fixing Dan with an incredibly confused look. 

"We aren't star crossed lovers, Phil and I. Do you think we fuck once a week because we would die for each other or some shit? We barely look at each other, barely say a word, and that's because the sex is fucking meaningless! It's just a feeling that we crave and know we can't get from anywhere else."

Dan tries to cut in, but Nathaniel isn't finished. 

"We're just pining over something that we can't get, and... it takes our minds off it."  
"Maybe for you! But Phil's... he just... he makes everything mean something! I've seen him sobbing over you!"

The confused expression stays on the boy's face for a couple more seconds, then slowly something dawns on him. 

"God, you really are dense." he says, smiling slightly as he shakes his head.  
Dan raises his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"  
"Have you ever considered the possibility that Phil might be crying over _you_?  
"Why would he be crying over-"  
"Or maybe he just forgets my name and decides that he likes yours better every time I fucking touch him?"

Dan chokes over his tongue as he stutters out a "What?"

"I'm assuming you're really called Dan."

"I...Yeah..." Dan doesn't care about his fake identity at this point, instead analyzing the words Nathaniel speaks in his head.  
"Yeah."  
"He says my name... while you... while you..." Dan makes motions with his hands instead of speaking.  
"Yeah."

Dan looks up at the colorful ceiling, mind quickly reanalyzing all of the events that had happened in the past weeks, and then in the past months. 

"Oh, _shit_..." Dan muses under his breath.  
"Yeah." Nathaniel agrees. 

Dan looks at the blonde helplessly. "But I don't-- I don't feel like that for him?"

Nathaniel shrugs, his shoulders falling. "That's why he does it, why I do it too. Requited love is somewhat of a myth in this castle."

There is a pause, broken by Nathaniel sighing.  
"I hate to interrupt your profound realization... But I'd like some sleep. Mind leaving?"

Dan nods slowly, his mouth opening to ask one more question. "Who is it for you?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You said you do it for the same reason Phil does it..."

Nathaniel shakes his head, his eyes falling to look at the ground. "Doesn't matter. He's like you-- doesn't feel the same way."

Dan nods curtly, opening the big wooden door and stepping back out into the hallway. He walks slowly back to his room, his mind whirring as he thinks about all the things that Phil has done in a new light. 

Things seem to make much more sense. How angry he was about seeing Dan and Cade kiss, how he always seems like he's about to cry when Dan doesn't answer his questions or how he blushes when Dan does. 

And Dan realizes that he's been a complete dick to Phil, especially now, knowing what the boy feels for him. He's fucked up, and badly at that, but he's fairly certain that he doesn't feel anything for Phil. 

Fairly. Because there are those weird fireworks in his chest when Phil smiles at him. There were those hungry lips when Phil kissed him, that inexplicable anger when he found Phil with Nathaniel. 

Not that Dan will ever acknowledge those, even to himself. 

When he gets back to the room, Phil is no longer there. Dan immediately rushes to the window, and to his relief Phil is out riding again. The boy has started getting up in the middle of the night to go riding, and Dan won't admit to it, but he's watched Phil glide along the castle grounds many times. 

It's somehow therapeutic. Dan guesses riding feels the same way for Phil as it does for him. Something about the rhythms and the motions can take your mind off of every problem you face. 

_Technically,_ Dan thinks, _I could climb down the vines and ride with Phil._

The two need to talk anyway, and Dan physically aches to ride more and more as each day passes. 

He's about to open the window when he slips his hand into his coat and feels the piece of paper. The piece of paper that was given to him a couple days ago to inform him that there would be a meeting tonight. 

And somehow, Dan has forgotten all about it. 

The first couple meetings made Dan want to go back. The way Sam spoke, the electricity in the crowd-- after those first few meetings Dan wanted to start the plan right away. 

Then... they had formed the real plan. The real plan, which involved Phil. Involved taking him out of the castle, threatening him, holding him hostage for their own gain. And while Dan still thinks that the servants deserve more rights... 

He can't bring himself to cause anyone any real harm. He couldn't lay his hands on Phil to hurt him, much less kill three royals. 

Dan trudges through the castle halls, hands wringing together. Since he now knows exactly how Phil feels about him, the situation is even more complicated. Although he's convinced that Phil's feelings aren't reciprocated, he also feels a strong need to protect him. 

If Dan couldn't protect Phil from his self, he would damn well protect him from others. 

He enters the courtyard late, the slight glow of candles showing him where to go. He tries to enter inconspicuously, but Samuel stops talking to address his presence. 

"Dan, a bit late, aren't we?"  
"I-- sorry, got caught up..."  
"We've heard all about it."  
"All about... what?"  
"Why, all about how much our little prince has been crying over you!"

Chuckles go up from the crowd as Dan freezes in place. 

"What?" he says softly, trying to keep the venom out of his voice. 

A servant from the crowd pipes up. "I'm on Prince Philip's personal waitstaff-- you know that boy tells the whole world his secrets. The royal family left the castle last weekend on business, and I rode in Phil's carriage with him to ensure his safety."

The crowd murmurs and laughs, and the servant who is speaking looks almost proud of herself. 

"He looked quite downtrodden, I daresay he had tears in his eyes, so of course I asked him what was wrong. He spilled the whole story. Told me all about how you and the older prince--"

Thoughts suddenly racing around Dan's head block out the rest of the story, but he's heard enough. He stares down at his hands, thinking about how to act and what to say when she finishes. 

_How is Phil so goddamn naïve? Why would he just tell a practical stranger that stuff?_

Dan looks up, and as he thinks them, somebody else speaks his words aloud. 

"Why'd he tell _you_ that?!" a kitchen servant shouts.  
The girl laughs. "Royals! They'd like to think that we're all going to fall in line behind them! They'd like to think that we have nobody other than them!"

Shouts of agreement go up in the crowd. Dan's hand tighten until his nails are digging crescent shapes into his palms. Phil doesn't deserve to be made fun of for his feelings-- no matter if they're mutual or not. 

But what can Dan do? He can't speak up for the prince lest he be considered an ally of the royals. And he can't agree with the servants who make fun of Phil's good nature and blind trust because somehow it feels like betrayal. 

So he keeps silent, head down. 

Samuel quiets the crowd, speaking in his most convincing tone. 

"No matter how you learned this information, Cecilia, we can use it to our utmost advantage. If the little prince can't stop crying over our Dan, then Dan should be the one to get him out of the castle!"

Dan freezes for the second time that night. The crowd is silent, turning towards his stoic figure with enthusiasm scrawled all over their faces. "What do you mean?" he asks, struggling to keep the anger out of his words. 

"I mean, if one of us was to get Philip out of the castle during the dance... we would have had to tie him up, sedate him. You, Dan, can just lure him out! Tell him that you want some privacy! If he's so lovestruck, I'm sure he'd agree without any trouble."

Dan gulps. 

A couple seconds of silence pass as his mind whirs incessantly. He feels like he's been silent for years. 

This plan... It's horrible, manipulative. It preys on Phil's biggest weakness and secret hope to lure him to a place of disarm. It will mess with his head and leave him even more confused than he already is. 

But the alternative? Having a stranger put him to sleep and smuggle him outside? No, Dan will not let that happen to Phil. Not ever. 

"I... Alright. I'll do it." The servants cheer, and Samuel gives him an encouraging smile, but Dan feels nothing but sad inside. 

"Five days until the royals get what's coming to them!"  
"FIVE DAYS!"

 

He moves through the halls quietly, slowly. He tries to take his mind off of everything by staring at the intricate ceilings of the castle, letting his eyes follow the colored bands instead of letting his thoughts roam. 

He enters the room to see that Phil has come back while he was away. 

Phil's asleep, with nothing but boxers on, and he's lying above the covers in the cold air. Dan picks him up, letting his body drape over Dan's own as he lifts the covers to tuck Phil in. 

He gets into bed on his own side, rolling over to stare at the boy. Phil's body is freezing, and Dan can't think of anything that there is to do besides holding him close for a while. 

But he's not cruel, or at least he doesn't want to be. Waking up in Dan's arms would make things even more complicated for the already confused boy. So he settles for moving his arm across the sheets that separate them, finding Phil's hand and encapsulating it in his own. 

 

It doesn't occur to Dan that holding the boy's hand won't warm him up. It doesn't occur to Dan that maybe he just wants to wrap up in the other boy. 

He's sleepy, tracing patterns on the back of Phil's hand with his thumb. It's late at night, when your logic gets tired and all that remains is your wanting. 

Dan squeezes Phil's hand and rolls over to press against his naked chest, almost unaware of it himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me on tumblr! @buzzlester
> 
> && check out my other fics
> 
> i love you oh so much


	17. Royal Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah that's right it's the dance you've all been waiting for except instead of being filled with love and fluff it's filled with dan being an asshole
> 
> also sorry this is late because i straight up forgot
> 
> anyway validate me by following me on tumblr @buzzlester

It's the day before the dance, and the whole castle seems to be moving on fast-forward. 

Dan and Phil haven't spoken since the hallway that day, and they couldn't have even if they wanted to. Phil, like the rest of the royal children who would be married of this year, had been in rehearsals all week. 

According to Cade, they were learning when to come in, where they should stand, and where they should go. Dan doesn't know how that would take a week to learn, but he isn't complaining. He needs time to think things through, and he's willing to bet that Phil does too. 

He himself has had a busy schedule this week. With the dance coming up so quickly, he had gone to manners every morning to learn all the dances that he would need to know. 

 

"5, 6, 7, 8!" Mrs. Auld shouts as the music starts up, and Dan places his hands around her neck. It's a bit awkward as she's much shorter than him, but it won't be once he's dancing with Phil. 

His feet follow hers in practiced movement. Dan barely has to think anymore, his muscles remembering what to do. Now that it's become so easy, dancing is a nice distraction for Dan. 

He lets himself sink into the music. 

After the last notes of the song fade away, Mrs. Auld takes her hands off Dan's hips and grins at him. 

"Greyson, you really have improved!"  
"Thank you." Dan smiles. Mrs. Auld really is one of his favorite royals.  
"I'm sure Philip will be impressed!" She winks, and Dan chuckles halfheartedly. As likable as she may be, Mrs. Auld seems to think that Dan and Phil are star-crossed lovers who would rather die than be apart. 

 

Usually, after manners Dan wanders around the castle and sits in the courtyard until nighttime. When the sky gets dark, he makes his way bak to the room and watches Phil through the window. There is something comforting about watching the boy ride his horse. He is clearly practiced, almost gliding across the fields. 

After that, Dan always tried to fall asleep. He will never admit it, but he can't close his eyes until he hears the door swing open and Phil walk in. 

 

But today, he has to report to the grand hall to go over his positioning for the dance. Because he'll be marrying one of the princes, he apparently has a greater role in the dance than he thought. 

Dan hates this charade. The dance is just an excuse for the royals to show off their "perfect" kingdom to the others. 

Nevertheless, he will be a part of it. Even if that part is not something the royals asked him to do. Even if that part is something that Dan doesn't want to do. 

He's sure, after all is said and done, that he will only confuse Phil more. That is, if Phil doesn't figure out that he has a part in the scheme. And if he was to figure it out... Dan would no doubt be exiled from the castle. 

 

Luckily, it doesn't take too much effort to find the grand hall, and a couple servants are stationed outside to show him where to go. 

"Prince Greyson," one of them says, throwing a well-concealed wink over his shoulder. Dan tries to smile back, but he's sure it looks more like a grimace. 

When he enters the grand hall, he sees it's already decorated for the dance. Fancy lights hang from the ceiling, silk strands drape across the walls, long wooden tables stretch out on either side of the huge room. 

A girl, orange hair piled nicely on her head with a long red gown, approaches Dan and holds out her hand. 

"You must be Greyson! I'm Angelica." She says, a courteous smile etched across her face. 

Dan has no idea who he's meeting, and his confusion must be evident as she laughs and explains herself. "The eldest prince's fiancee."  
"Oh! Nice to meet you," Dan says, holding out his hand and hoping that he looks well-mannered enough.  
"I've never met him before, but I've seen pictures. He's very handsome, isn't he?" Angelica giggles.  
"Who, Cade? Yeah, he's..." Dan trails off.  
"Well, it's so great to meet you, Greyson. Your manners are impeccable, especially for someone who's just started learning!"  
"Thank you?"  
"You're very welcome."

And with that, she turns on her heels and walks away gracefully. 

Dan can't decide whether she's genuinely kind, if a bit naïve, or the worst person he's ever met. 

The queen steps out into the room, clearing her throat. All the servants immediately turn to her, and Dan follows suit. 

The rest of the afternoon is spent painstakingly learning where to stand, when to walk out, and how the dancing will be positioned. Every time they learn a new cue, Dan can't help but think about whether he and Phil will still be in the castle for it or not. 

Finally, he's dismissed, and he leaves the grand hall without a second thought. The outside air is cold, almost biting, and a quiet evening air is set about. 

Dan knows that he should be reporting to a meeting that will solidify the servants' plans, but Dan already knows exactly what he needs to do. Hearing about exactly how they're going to kill a couple royals is something that Dan would rather miss out on. 

He enters the room to see that for the first time in days, Phil is there too. They make eye contact, but do not speak. Dan sits down on the bed, purposefully taking as long as he can to take off his socks and shoes. 

Phil pulls on slacks and grabs boots. He clears his throat as if he's about to say something, but by the time Dan turns to look at him, he's already out the door. 

 

Dan lounges on the bed, staring out the window and watching Phil ride around in the sunset. He aches to take Phil's place, and regrets refusing him that time he asked if Dan wanted to go riding with him. 

What's done is done, however, and what's about to be done is about to be done. 

So Dan rolls over, willing himself to sleep despite the fact that Phil isn't in the room. The sun disappears over the horizon, casting total darkness, and Dan cuddles into his pillow. 

It's warm, quiet, and yet Dan cannot close his eyes until the familiar weight of the other boy returns to their bed. 

________________________________________________________________________________

The hall is packed full of royals, the balconies filled, and Dan stands in the back with Angelica awaiting his cue. Dukes and bishops are entering the hall, taking the hands of their new husbands and wives, and applause fills Dan's ears. 

It's fancy, gorgeous, the lights casting beautiful shades of gold everywhere. Dresses glitter, eyes sparkle, glasses of wine look like they've been made by angels and not just the kitchen staff. 

Finally, the pompous announcer of the event calls Phil's name. Dan gets up, waiting by the door just out of sight. 

He has a perfect view of Phil entering the hall. 

The sight of him takes Dan's breath away. His suit jacket is slightly metallic, shimmering and glowing in the lowlight. The gold lights up his eyes, glints off of his hair. He smiles widely, all teeth, and bows to the royals. 

They applaud him, the younger prince, who looks so elated on the day of his first dance with his betrothed. 

But when he turns to Dan to take his hand, there is undeniable defeat in his eyes. He pulls Dan out from the crowd, intertwining their hands and looking out into the shall. The royals cheer for him, cheer for Dan. 

Dan smiles too, but he is sure he looks fake. 

Phil guides him towards the back of the hall, every movement creating different shimmering patterns on his face and in his eyes. 

They wait at the back of the hall, hands clasped together and faces trapped in a permanent fake smile. Cade's name is called, and he walks into the hall to copious cheers and claps. 

He smiles widely, when he holds his hand out to Angelica he spins her around. He has the look of a romantic, raising their intertwined hands up for everybody to applaud, but Dan sees beyond it. Cade is an especially great actor, and Dan knows that his whole life revolves around strategy. 

This is just another strategy, a plan to gain approval and strength and power and envy. 

Even as he pulls Angelica closer, there is no love in his eyes. 

Unlike Phil, Cade is not reliant on the sky and warmth and sweet smells and butterfly kisses. He is reliant on his image, and he crafts it perfectly. 

The bands starts to play, and Phil leads Dan out onto the dance floor. The first dance is reserved for the young royals and their fiancées, but luckily he and Phil fit right in the middle. 

Dan reaches his arms up and puts them around Phil's neck, and Phil brings his to rest around Phil's waist. Phil holds Dan closer than Mrs. Auld did, but his eyes stay on the ground. 

The bras beat kicks into the music, and couple all around them begin to spin around. 

Dans been practicing hard, but right away he can tell that he won't able to keep up with Phil. The older boy has already melted into the music, his feet moving quickly and purposefully. 

As he moves, his grip on Dan's waist tightens, until Dan's chin is practically resting in Phil's neck. 

Dan manages not to slip up or step on any feet, and when the song ends and every other royal couple joins in, he lets out a sigh of relief. 

Phil looks up, and speaks to Dan for the first time in weeks. Something about his voice is different, or maybe it's the fact that Dan now knows exactly what Phil feels for him. 

"Dan, you really aren't that bad at dancing," Phil says, and his voice is guarded and shy. 

_This is it_ , Dan thinks, _sell it_. 

He has to make Phil leave the castle with him, whether he likes it or not. So instead of saying a quiet thanks, Dan finds Phil's eyes and smiles at him. 

"Thanks, but I'm surely not as good as you..."  
"Oh..." a blush spreads across Phil's cheeks, making him look even more gorgeous in the glowing lights.  
"Maybe I would've done better if someone had taught me?"

Phil looks confused, _of course he does_ , because Dan is so obviously flirting and Phil was so sure that Dan didn't think about him like that. 

"Cade?" He asks, even though he somehow already knows what Dan will say.  
"No, not Cade."

"Who, then?" Phil knows what Dan is trying to say, but part of him just needs Phil to say it.  
"You, Phil. I thought you knew."

"Thought I... knew?"  
"Yeah," Dan says, "how I feel about you."

God, Dan hates himself right now. He's so horrible, so manipulative. He's convincing Phil that his greatest hope is true just to lure him outside. The guilt churns in Dan's stomach, but on the outside he keeps a straight face, hands moving to play with Phil's hair. 

 

Phil's sure that he's bright red, but it's not as if he can help it. 

The words that Dan is whispering, his gentle hands in Phil's hair, his pressing closer during a slow song-- Phil must be the luckiest man on earth. After assuming for so long that Dan's feelings towards him were nothing but friendly (if that), the other boy is admitting to feeling something for him. 

It makes Phil's eyes brighter, makes him feel like he has butterflies crowding in his chest, makes him feel like he would give up the sky to stay in this moment forever. 

He notices that something is wrong. He sees it in Dan's eyes, but his thoughts block it out because he just wants to believe Dan's words. He leans into Dan's soft chest, sighing. 

 

Dan catches Phil's jaw in his, bringing Phil's lips within millimeters of his own. 

He and Phil makes eye contact for a couple seconds, and then Phil blinks hard as if he's trying to remember something. All at once, he pulls back, staring at Dan with pain in his eyes. 

"Godamnit, Dan. Godamnit. Don't do this. I know you don't...want... but-- I do, and it's unfair for you to just... to just confuse me more..."

This is awful, by far the ugliest thing Dan has ever done, but he kisses the boy before he can think better of it.

The kiss is short, chaste, and when Phil pulls away Dan chases his lips. It's unlike the other kiss they have shared. It's not full of hunger and confusion, rather innocence and wine. It still feels wrong though, of course it does, because on some level Dan is still acting. 

"You're wrong, Phil," Dan lies, "I want you too."

He leans in to kiss the older boy again, and Phil sighs out into his lips. He can Phil smiling against him. 

"Hey," Dan says, spinning Phil around and making him laugh, "Can I take you up on those riding lessons?"

Phil's eyes light up as he nods vigorously, all thoughts of Dan faking it flying out the window. "Really?"  
"Of course."

Phil pulls Dan away, through a hall that Dan hadn't seen before and outside. As soon as they leave the castle, Phil throws his arms around Dan's neck and kisses him. Even without the golden chandelier light, Phil still seems to glow. 

Dan kisses back, his arms ghosting around Phil's hips. He can't help but smile.

 

Acting is acting, and Dan isn't doing that.  
But love is love, and Dan is almost sure he doesn't feel that either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: @buzzlester (come yell at me!!)
> 
> check out my other fics if ya haven't and have a lovely dayyy :)


	18. Royal Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hola

Soon enough they are running out of the castle, then out of the gates and into the untrimmed grass beyond it. Dan can't help the smile that takes over his face. He hasn't been outside of the castle in so long, and he almost wants to kick the shoes off of his feet. 

Phil takes his hand, looking down and blushing. 

"Should we go to the stables?"  
"Yeah."

Phil's eyes look like they've been painted a different color. Usually stunning blue, they are murky and swimming. They are lit up from below by his shimmering jacket, and somehow Dan feels as though he could probably live in them for a long time. 

And suddenly, he takes off running, pulling Dan behind him. A laugh forces his way out of Dan's lips. There is an air of exhilaration about, knowing that the prestigious dance is carrying on inside while he and Phil are having the time of their lives. 

It doesn't feel wrong-- Dan has stopped feeling guilty. It's not as if he's manipulating Phil if he's doing what Phil wants to do, right?

Even if after tonight, Dan will leave Phil with so much shit to work through that he may never be able to. 

They get to the stables, and Dan takes off his deep black jacket. The cold night air swirls around him. Phil lets go of his hand as he wanders into the stables, quickly followed by Dan. 

It's surreal, being back here after so long. These stables used to be Dan's whole life, these horses used to be his best friends. He isn't quiet sure whether his life now is worse or better. 

He can still name all the horses, and grins when he sees his favorite. "Posey," he coos, moving his hand forward to stroke the stallion down his mane. 

 

Phil watches from the entrance of the stables, entranced by how well Dan handles himself around the animals. They all go quiet when he's around them, they all move into his hand with practiced ease. It feels almost wrong, looking at Dan whispering to the horses and stroking them. It feels like he's intruding. 

But soon enough Dan looks back, smiling simply and beckoning Phil into the stables, too. He was never allowed to come into the stables when servants were inside, under direct orders from his father. 

Dan takes his hand, guides it to a horses head. "This is the one you usually ride?" he asks, smiling softly.  
"Yeah," Phil agrees. He's been riding almost every day recently, taking a horse out of the stable and galloping across the uncut fields of the castle.  
"He's called Blue," Dan says, softly stroking the horses side, "I named him when I was really little and another guy still worked here."

There is a pause before Phil speaks. 

"Do you miss the stables, Dan?"  
"I... I have you now. I don't need the stables."

Phil can feel the blush spread across his cheeks. He sighs, moving closer to Dan and leaning into his side. Dan's bare arms curl around him, and he looks up to be greeted with the same muddy eyes that he has lusted after for so long. 

 

The guilt washes back all at once as Dan speaks. He's outright lying, telling Phil that all he needs is him. His words are specifically picked to make Phil blush, to make Phil want him, and Dan feels sick to his stomach because of it. 

"Shall we?" he says, smiling at the boy below him. Phil's eyes are locked on Dan's, his face so infuriatingly trusting.  
"Hmm," he murmurs, taking his hand and placing it on the other side of the horse. 

Dan pulls out Blue and Posey, offering Blue's lead to Phil.

The boys hoist themselves up, and Dan immediately takes off. The breezy air spills around him, his hair blowing back and his thin clothes whipping around. He is, and always has been, in love with this feeling. 

For a moment, he forgets that Phil is even with him, but then he catches sight of the boy veering in beside him. 

"You think you're fast, huh Dan?" He chirps, eyes on the fields in front of him and hands tight on his reins. 

Dan laughs. "Faster than you!" he yells, and Phil snorts. 

At the same time, they speed up, cantering across the grounds with the same euphoria painted on their face. 

"No hands, Howell!" Phil calls, and sure enough he is standing up in Blue's saddle. Not to be outdone, Dan drops the reins and raises his arms up to the starry sky. Infectious laughter fills the air, and Dan and Phil steal looks at each other as they desperately try to coach their respective horses to go faster using just their feet. 

Dan pulls closer to Phil, trying to cut him off, and Blue veers away, knocking Phil back into the saddle. Off balance, the older boy's hand shoots out and rests on Dan's shoulder. Even after he regains his center of gravity, Blue and Posey ride side by side and Phil's hand remains on Dan's thigh. 

The horses slow down, and they don't speak. The perfect peace of the night is undisturbed. 

They ride in silence for a little while, and suddenly Phil's eyes light up and he gasps, slowing his horse and motioning for Dan to slow Posey as well. 

"What?" Dan asks.  
"There's a lake in those woods! I used to play there when I was a kid."  
"So?"  
"So, let's go to it! C'mon, Dan!"

He returns his hands to the reins, turning Blue's head so that he's directed into the woods. Dan follows. 

The trees create a different atmosphere than the open sky did. Somehow, everything feels safer, more like a secret. The stars are hidden by the tall trees, and some type of magic is dispelled through the air. 

"I haven't been here in so long," Phil muses, listening to the clicking of hooves on the trail.  
"The king let you come here when you were a kid?" Dan asks.  
"No. He had a lot of rules for Cade and I to follow. I never really did."

It's interesting, hearing this. Looking at the royal family from the outside in, you would peg Cade as the rebel, not Phil. Cade, the future king, the one everybody lusted after... surely he would be the one to sneak out, to break the rules. 

But as the days go by, Dan realizes who Cade really is. He does have a charm around him, there's no denying it, but he's two dimensional. He has no depth. He is obedient to his father, to his mother, to the kingdom. He and Phil are different in this way. He and Dan are different in this way. 

Cade will never be able to fall in love, because he never let himself feel it. 

Phil, riding ahead of Dan in the dark, humming under his breath, a golden tuxedo still secure around his shoulders... This boy has fallen in love thousands of times. And for a moment, Dan feels privileged to be the object of Phil's desire. 

And then he realizes how manipulative, how incredibly awful he is. 

_Forget it_ pretend like you're out here for your own reasons.

Phil cries out in joy, laughter bubbling out of his throat as he catches sight of the lake that he has been talking animatedly about for the past ten minutes. Dan moves up so that he and Phil are side by side.

He must admit, it's a beautiful scene. 

This part of the woods looks to be almost untouched. The trees stretch tall over their heads, the moonlight and starlight sprinkle down from above to decorate the calm water. 

Phil swings off of Blue, tying him to a tree and making sure he is comfortable. Dan does the same. 

He turns around to see Phil shrugging his sparkling jacket off of his shoulders, placing it on the ground and making the leaves around it glow. He looks up, catches Dan's eye, and grins. 

In a couple bounds, he grabs Dan's hand and drags him across the grass and onto the bank of the lake. 

Wordlessly, the two boys kick off their shoes and dip their feet in the pleasantly cold water. 

"How'd you find this?" Dan asks, swinging his legs to create ripples on the surface.  
"When I was a kid, I used to explore these woods all the time. I thought they were magical."

Dan smiles. "Maybe they are."

Phil curls into Dan's side, making guilt bubble up in his throat. "Hmm," he sighs, "maybe."

All at once, Phil recedes, looking at Dan with sparkles in his eyes and clapping his hands together with all the excitement of a kid on Christmas morning. Dan shakes his head in amusement, raising his eyebrows to invite Phil to speak. 

"We should swim, Dan!"  
"Are you joking?!"  
"No! It'll be fun!"

As if it's been decided, Phil hops up from his seat, jostling Dan in the process. He runs over to the tree line, unbuttoning his shirt and taking off his jeans, and Dan's face heats up as he watches. He's seen Phil in his underwear before, but somehow this feels much more intimate. 

Dan looks away as Phil turns back around, and soon enough he hears a telling splash, quickly followed by giggles. He looks down at the water to see that Phil has resurfaces, swimming over to Dan and pulling at the leg of his dress pants. 

"Phil! We can't!"

Phil's eyes are lit up, laughter bubbling out of his throat, and Dan already knows that he won't be able to say no. 

"D-aa-annn, you have to!" Phil hoists himself out of the water, dripping wet with messy hair and a grin overtaking his face. Dan smiles shakily, disarmed by how confident Phil is. At the back of his mind is the ever-present guilt of knowing that he is essentially just leading Phil on. 

But he quiets his thoughts, opting to smile instead. "Alright. If you insist."

Phil claps, turning around and gracefully diving into the water. He starts swimming towards the other side of the lake, back turned, and Dan takes the time to quickly strip down. Before Phil has the chance to turn around and see Dan in just his boxers, Dan submerges himself in the cold water. 

He emerges, sputtering and shivering, a couple seconds later. "Phil!" he hisses, and the other boy turns around, beaming. 

"What?"  
"This is fucking freezing!"

Phil swims back towards him, laughing at his predicament. "You have some thin skin, Danny..."

Dan swats away his hands, determinedly treading water. "I mean, it's not that cold. It was just shocking at first, that's all."

Phil giggles, and suddenly Dan feels warm arms enveloping his waist. A soft smile forms on his face as he relaxes into Phil's embrace. "Body heat?" Phil whispers in his ear, and Dan smiles and nods. 

They stay like this for a very long time, resting against a rock that just out of the side of the lake. Finally, Phil moves up the rock and out of the water, pulling Dan with him and on top of him. 

Dan moves his arms up to encircle Phil's neck, and rests his head on Phil's chest. 

Small forehead kisses escalate quickly, and within minutes Phil is sat upright on the rock, Dan straddling him, and both their lips moving against each other slowly and deeply. 

Dan can feels Phil's lips curve, smiling against his own, and he tightens his grip around Phil's shoulders, moving a hand to swipe through his hair. 

All thoughts of "leading Phil on" and "faking everything" are not to be found in Dan's head. 

Phil breaks the kiss, looking at Dan with wonder in his eyes. Dan chases Phil's lips as they leave his own, then slowly opens his eyes to gaze at the older boy's soft smile. He sinks into Phil, listening to the vibrations in his chest as he speaks. 

"I can't believe you... You want me too. I'm so, so lucky, Dan."

And maybe it’s because he’s tipsy and maybe it’s for the plan and maybe it’s because he really does feel something, even if he doesn’t know it, or maybe it’s all of the above… But Dan presses a kiss to his pale chest and melts into Phil's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi on tumblr @buzzlester!!
> 
> i just finished my superhero guy and i'm emo so if you haven't go read extra ordinary
> 
> bye biiitches


	19. Royal Meltdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry in advance

The boys spend hours in the water and on the banks, the horses neighing quietly in the background. It's calm, tranquil, and Dan easily forgets the reason he is here in the first place. 

They've taken their time, their lips slowly moving together as the water laps up around their ankles. Phil sighs happily every now and then, and whenever he does Dan seems to fill up with happiness. 

Despite his cold exterior, Dan has always felt self-conscious, especially since moving into the castle. He is blindingly unsatisfied with how he looks, but somehow when Phil's hands caress his skin, they peel away his many layers of insecurity until he just _is_.

His stomach is heavy with wine, his eyes filled with a dancing light which he's sure is being reflected from the glow of Phil's skin. 

After a while, they lie down in the tall grass, arms wound around each other like the ivy that grows up the tower walls. Crickets chirp and the water swirls around their toes, but other than that the world seems to be immobile. 

Neither would complain if the earth stopped spinning and they were trapped in this moment forever. 

 

And yet, fate is cruel. 

 

A sharp boom explodes into the night air, and Dan winces as Phil sits up and whips his head back towards the castle. 

Dan blinks forcefully, trying to wake himself up from his Phil-induced daze, and when the plan rushes back to him he feels bile in his throat. Phil looks confused, nervous, and Dan knows what's going on. 

He knows exactly what's going on. People are being killed, and it's his job to keep Phil happy, pliant, and unconcerned about the sounds of guns going off in the distance. But as soon as he sees the expression on Phil's face, he knows it's a lost cause. 

"Dan, that was a gunshot," Phil says with realization dawning on his face.   
"Are you sure?" Dan asks, struggling to keep his voice normal and unconcerned.

Another crack echoes into the night. 

"They're coming from the castle!" Phil scrambles to his feet, leaving Dan's chest exposed to the night air. 

He rushes over to Blue, his hands jittery and frantic as he unties her reins. 

"Phil, what are you doing?" Dan tries to remain neutral and calm, hoping to relax Phil enough so that he'll stay by the lake.   
"Going to see what's happening! If the castle is under attack..." He doesn't even bother to finish his sentence.   
"But you're the prince. Wouldn't it be much better if you stayed here and stayed safe?"

Phil unties Blue, then starts to make work of Posey's tie. 

"I have a duty to protect the castle and all people in it."  
"Well, isn't your first priority to protect yourself?"  
"You should know me better than that, Dan."

And of course, Dan does. Of course Phil would go riding into a flaming building to save even one kitchen maid, which is part of the reason why Dan got so defensive when the servants poked fun at the prince. Phil gives up so much for other people. 

He's given up his own happiness for Dan, in a sense. 

Dan knows he won't be able to convince Phil to stay away from the inevitable conflict happening in the castle. So, with a heavy heart, he mounts Posey and follows Phil as he quickly and steadily winds his way through the woods. 

As soon as they reach the field, Phil coaxes Blue into a gallop. Dan rides along, keeping pace, his head spinning with possible outcomes, excuses, and things to say when Phil finds out what's going on. 

What he doesn't expect is to turn the corner and see that part of the castle is in flames. Phil gasps, surprised, and then leans forward and rides even faster towards the building. 

Dan swallows the thick guilt in his throat. This is not how the plan was supposed to go. There were never any flames involved... 

He squeezes his heels into Posey's side, trying to keep up with the prince in front of him. 

Dan and Phil arrive at the gates together, Phil desperately tugging at the large handle and half-crying in fear and desperation. Dan places his hand on top of Phil's pulling open the gate steadily. 

Instead of running inside, Phil looks up at Dan. 

Dan, who is struggling to mask the deep confusion and guilt in his eyes, must look like he feels nothing at the sight of the castle. 

"Do you know what's happening?" Phil takes a step back, staring at Dan with wary eyes.   
"No, I--I don't..."  
"Why did you want me to stay by the lake so bad?!" Phil's voice has an edge to it, the fear turning into steaming anger before Dan's eyes. 

Dan forces his face to soften as he puts his arm behind Phil's back. "Phil, I don't know either. I'm just--confused." Not exactly a lie. But not the truth, either. 

"Sorry, I'm... I'm just overwhelmed. I shouldn't be blaming you." It all but tears Dan's heart out of his chest when Phil kisses him on the cheek then immediately rushes into the garden. Dan follows. 

 

As Dan and Phil rush towards the castle, a short blonde woman rushes out. Tear tracks stain her face, and her once impeccable makeup is dripping down her cheeks. Dan recognizes her as one of the higher regarded servants, Leona, a soft-spoken lady who was always reluctant about the killing at meetings. 

Nevertheless, she was, _is_ , part of the plot. So why is she crying?

Phil almost runs into her, and he waves off her apologies as he takes in her harried appearance. 

Leona blushes, looking up, and catches Dan's eye. All at once, she rushes towards him, tears reappearing in her eyes and racing down her face. "Th-the plan wasn't supposed to go this way!" She shouts, frantic. 

Phil stops in his tracks, fixing Dan with an unreadable look, and Dan avoids eye contact. 

"What plan?" The prince says, his voice dangerously quiet. 

Leona looks between Dan and Phil a couple times, then downcasts her gaze and shuts her mouth. 

"What plan, Dan?" Phil asks, desperation growing in his voice. Dan doesn't meet his eyes. 

"WHAT FUCKING PLAN?!" 

"Phil, please, I didn't want--" Dan starts, but Phil speaks over him. 

"Just tell me what the fuck is going on..."

Leona turns around, her feet scuffing on the path. She looks as ashamed as Dan feels, and she opens her mouth to tell the prince exactly what's going on in the castle tonight. Dan hates himself so thoroughly in this moment. He can't bear to see the inevitable look on Phil's face. 

"The servants, we... We had a plan." She speaks slowly, her voice thick with worry.

Phil raises his eyebrows. 

"Everything was getting to be so much. We felt so... cheated, and ridiculed, and oppressed. Samuel--you know him--got us all together so that we could make a plan that would make the royals take us seriously."  
"And Dan... you were part of this plan?"

Dan starts speaking, but Phil's glare cuts him off. "I'm sorry," he breathes. 

"Samuel... he speaks well. We were all drawn in... some of us more than others. He suggested taking control of the castle during the night of the ball. We would lure you out of the castle, Phil. And then we would threaten your family."

There is a stunned silence that echoes in everyone's ears. 

"Dan?" Phil finally asks, and Dan keeps his gaze focused on the ground. "So you were... a lure."

Again, Dan doesn't respond. 

"Were you telling me the truth when you said... those things, Dan? Were you?" Phil's voice is low, desperate, and he is lit up from behind in the orange light of the fire. Dan looks him in the eye, warring over his own emotions and what he wants them to be. 

"I don't know," he answers truthfully. 

Phil's gaze hardens and his expression changes immediately. It's almost incredible to watch. Phil can turn from being himself to being the prince so easily, but Dan thought that he would never be the subject of Phil's fake front. 

He hates himself for everything he's done, and wants to run from the prince's hard glare as the servant continues. 

"Samuel suggested, um... killing some people. So that the royals would take us seriously."  
"And you went along with this?" Phil is furious, and Dan doesn't even need to look up to see it. 

"No! I mean--some of us did. I protested, and so did Dan. A lot of us didn't want to hurt anyone. But, like I said, Samuel is powerful. He made us believe that the only way to end our own oppression was through aggression."

"And where--why--did you decide to burn the castle?"

The girl cries out involuntarily, making Dan look up and catch her eye. "We didn't know," she says desperately, "I swear, we didn't. Samuel and a couple others had panned this by themselves. I think they're dangerous. I'm scared..."

"We can fix this. What you did was wrong, but I can see why you did it. This isn't your fault, Leona." Phil speaks slowly, calmly. It sometimes surprises Dan how much of a prince Phil really is. Even though he must be sorting through too many of his own feelings, he's put them aside to make sure the servant girl feels at ease. 

"Thank you," Leona replies, looking at Phil as if he's just granted her immortality. 

"Do you know where my brother is? We'll round up stragglers and try to make sure everybody is--" Phil stops abruptly when he sees the look on Leona's face. 

"I'm so sorry, Prince Philip, but your brother is--well, he's... he's been shot."

Upon hearing these words, Phil looks like he's been shot himself. His eyes widen, his jaw drops, his skin seems to get paler. "What?" he asks softly, relishing the extra seconds in which his fears have not yet been confirmed. 

"I'm sorry," the girl repeats, and a tear rolls out of Phil's eye.   
"Is he--dead?"  
"He may as well be. Last I saw him he was in the castle, trying to carry people out. Even with a bullet wound, he was still trying to help us live."

Phil begins to tremble, running his hands through his hair anxiously. "He's inside?"  
Leona answers carefully. "...Yes. But you shouldn't--"

Phil turns towards the flames, shedding his jacket and inhaling deeply. "I have to."  
"You could get hurt!" Leona protests, but Phil waves her off.   
"Cade is more important than I am. He is the heir."

More emotional messages underlay his words. Phil will go in to save his brother because even though their relationship is strained, Cade still means everything to Phil. 

"Let me go in with you," Dan speaks before he can think, his mind carrying the words out of his mouth before he can properly think about them. 

Phil whirls around, anger spiking like the flames all around him. "Don't you dare, Dan."

Dan steps back, feeling weak and scolded. 

"I don't trust you anymore."

And with those biting words, Phil runs into the burning building. 

It hurts more than Dan would like it to. He knew, as he was luring Phil into the woods, as he was kissing him on the stones, as he was cuddling him in the grass, that this would end badly. But he didn't think that five words could cut him so damn deep.

Phil's form disappears behind the huge flames, leaving Leona and Dan alone in the dark garden. Leona turns to Dan, her dress in tatters and her arms crossed around her chest as if she's trying to hold her heart together. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize."  
"What?"

Leona cocks her head, her burned hair swinging to the side. "I didn't realize that you felt the same."

"What do you mean?"  
"You just made it sound like the prince's love was unrequited. If I had known that it wasn't, I wouldn't have--" The servant stops when she sees the look on Dan's face. 

"I, um... I'm not in love with Phil--with the prince."

A couple seconds of silence pass, and then Leona chuckles sadly. "Oh. I see."

"What?" Dan dislikes the knowledgeable tone that Leona speaks in, as if she possesses all the wisdom in the world. As if she knows something that Dan does not know. 

"It's just so obvious that you care for him."  
"Well, yeah, I feel bad for him..."  
"You wanted to accompany him into the burning castle." Leona shakes her head, a disbelieving smile on her face.   
"Okay, but that's because I felt like it was my fault!"

The servant raises her eyebrows. 

"What exactly did you feel was your fault?"  
"Phil being sad. I don't like it."

"You told him you didn't know whether you meant the things you said, Daniel."  
"I don't like him, I just... feel guilty. I know I don't feel anything for him, but I also feel like I have to."  
"I think you have it the wrong way round."  
"What?"

Leona places her delicate hand on Dan's bicep, making him look up to meet her eye. 

"You love him, Dan. You feel _everything_ for him. But you also feel like you can't."

Dan opens his mouth to protest, but Leona shakes her head and removes her hand. "You will always defend the feelings that you want to have. The feelings that you really do have... they're in there somewhere."

A huge crash goes up behind them, and Dan whips around to see a floor of the castle caving in. Screaming echoes through the air. Without even thinking about it, Dan sheds his jacket and runs his hands through his hair, running towards the entrance. 

"See?" He hears a voice behind him, turning around for a second to catch Leona's words. "You need him, Dan. You love him."

Dan will formulate a response later. He will figure out a way to explain away his feelings. But for now, he leaps over a block in the doorway and enters the searing air of the castle. 

"PHIL!" He calls out, desperate, trying to dodge wreckage and bits of ceiling flailing all around him. 

There is no answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me on tumblr- @buzzlester
> 
> fun fact: ya girl has been working hard on a ~suggestive~ fic but guess what it's full of sadness and angst!!  
> someone tell me why am i incapable of writing fluffy love one shots :/


	20. Royal News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys here we go

Margaret is tired. It's been a long day of manners, sparring, horseback riding, and the like. She had kept busier than usual to distract herself from the fact that she and her family weren't going to the dance in Grenada. 

Margaret misses seeing Phil, and wants to know what he had been up to. She knows that he's gotten engaged to someone, and that they will married soon. It's very complicated, and she can't seem to completely understand their relationship. Part of her doesn't want to--although she is very happy as the future queen of Ceodor, she and Phil had always pictured a future together. 

They were never really in love, but were always good friends and would do well together. Margaret knows that Phil didn't get to choose his fiancé, but she's still a little bit bitter about it. 

Her parents, the lovely king and queen, know that she feels this way. They elected not to attend the dance in Grenada so that she would not have to see Prince Philip dancing with the man whom he'd be married to. 

Margaret knows that going to the dance would be bad for her, but her chest keeps tightening regardless. She just wants to see her friend again, after almost a year of being apart, and knows that Phil would jump at the chance to see her as well. 

Just as she's pulling up the covers to try to sleep, someone starts banging on her door. 

She gets out of bed, opening it to see that her younger brother, Maverick, is standing in front of her. 

"Margaret, hurry to meet us in the great hall."  
"What's going on!?"  
"Men have arrived on horseback from Grenada. They've been riding all night."  
"What?!"  
"Mar, something is wrong."

Pulling on a coat and boots and not bothering to change out of her nightgown, Margaret races behind her brother down the stairs. Indeed, standing in the great hall, are four tired-looking men who wear the coat of arms of Grenada. 

The king and queen of Ceodor, Margaret's parents, stand beside them, talking in hushed voices. 

Maverick and Margaret catch their breath and resume their posture as they walk over to the others. 

"What's going on?" Margaret hisses, searching the men's eyes for a further explanation. 

"Your highness, we've come from Grenada to request your assistance."  
"For what?" Maverick asks, his eyes flicking back and forth between the tired riders and his solemn parents. 

"The castle is in flames. Most royals from other kingdoms were able to escape, but the royal family is still inside and unsafe. The prince and his fiancé are missing."

 _Missing_. Margaret repeats the word silently, trying to wrap her head around what might have happened. 

"We must stay here, but we have sent a dozen of our men to accompany these four back to Grenada."  
"May we go with them?" Margaret asks, worried.   
"You may, Margaret. Mav, you are too young."  
"What? That's so unfair!" her brother complains, and Margaret nods to the men as she leads them outside to dress her horse. 

The air is crisp, cold even, and Margaret exhales lightly as she pulls her coat tighter around her shoulders. She saddles Meri up, swinging on to the horse's back and following the men outside to where the riders wait. 

The four men from Grenada lead the pack, directing them through the winding roads of the night. The stars shine brightly from above, but Margaret can't help but notice that everyone looks sinister in their yellow light. 

Margaret is worried--more than worried. 

Over the past couple years, she and Phil had always exchanged letters, but in the past 6 months they had exchanged ten times less. 

Usually, Phil would write her every couple days, about his activities and the food he was eating and people he had met. Margaret would write him back with the same things. She would go visit the castle and see Phil about once every year, and they always had a good time together. 

She hadn't been to Grenada in over a year now. At first, it was because the royal family was preparing to marry off their sons. Margaret had been confident Phil would choose her--he had told her that much. 

He had sent her a letter five months ago, longer than most, which explained exactly what happened. 

Somehow, one of the royal servants had been found to be the son of the king's long lost brother. Instead of giving up the throne to this boy, the king and queen had decided to simply marry him off to Phil. 

Phil had said that he was hard to talk to, and seemed as though he hated the royals and the castle. 

In his next letter, he had detailed his growing crush on the boy, Dan, how his heart felt split when he saw him kissing Cade. 

His next letter was what worried Margaret the most. Phil was much more vague than usual--saying only that Dan definitely hated him and that he was finding ways to cope. He said that he wasn't sure whether or not he could live out the rest of his life with Dan. 

Phil reported that he felt trapped, guilty, and irrevocably sad whenever he even caught Dan's eyes. 

That was last week. 

Margaret had written him back, a letter full of concern and questions, but she had not yet sent it. 

Now, riding towards the castle at full speed, she wishes she had. What if the worst has happened and her best friend is dead? She tastes bile in her throat at the thought, willing the leaders to ride faster so they could make it to Grenada. 

As the turrets of the castle appear over the horizon, the sun is slowly beginning to light up the sky. 

Everything is clearly wrong. One of the towers stands tall, but the other has crumbled. It looks charred, black, and if Margaret looks closely she can see small licks of flames. She cries out, and some of the men around her do as well. 

She pushes her horse faster, overtaking even the leaders of the pack, and gallops towards the back entrance to the stables. She ties up her horse and takes off running, her nightgown billowing around her and her messy bun slowly coming undone. 

Guards are waiting at the castle gate, which still stands tall in the early morning. They recognize Margaret immediately, and ignore her state as they report to her the whereabouts of the royal family.

"Lady Hethenfield. The royal family has reconvened in the high tower. The resistance has been quieted--most of the servants reported guilt and since have been forgiven. The ringleaders, however--the servant master Samuel and a couple of his men--have disappeared."  
"Thank you. Is Prince Philip in the high tower?"  
"No, my lady... Prince Philip, Prince Daniel, and Prince Cade have also gone missing."

It takes Margaret but a second to realize who Prince Daniel is, and then the panic sets in.

"Are they dead? Have you searched the wreckage?"  
"Yes ma'am. Only three bodies were found, and those were unfortunately of servants. The princes have completely disappeared."  
"What?!"  
"We think that Samuel and his men might have kidnapped them... That was their original plan--ransom."  
"Oh."  
"We have sent men out to look for them, but they had quite a head start."

Margaret looks down, takes a deep breath, then looks back up and requests to be let in to the castle. The guards comply, and Margaret stalks into the castle. She will go to the high tower and meet with the king and queen, send her parents' wishes and condolences. Before that, however, she has a much more important place to visit. 

As soon as she enters Phil's room, the nostalgia hits. They used to have sleepovers in that bed, climb down the ivy on the wall and run giddily across the grounds. 

It makes her sick to think that someone else, someone who is clearly breaking Phil's heart, may have also shared those memories with him. 

The bed is unmade, and has clearly been slept on on both sides. Phil's side is apparent. His casual shoes lie by the side, his amber lamp on the bedside table and his chest beside it. 

The other side is almost clear. She opens the closet to see clothes neatly arranged in a row. Prince Daniel seems to have no secrets that Margaret can figure out by looking through his lack of belongings. 

Then she catches sight of it. Sitting on the top shelf, above all the hangers, is a picture. It's old, hard to make out. It's of a woman, tall and smiley, with blonde hair that drips down her back and sits around her waist. She holds a baby in her arms, a baby who must be Dan. 

Margaret wonders how Daniel came about this picture and why he keeps it. 

She flops down onto the bed, breathing in the alien scent of the new person in her best friend's life. It's so strange, knowing that someone sleeps here beside Phil. She rolls over, breathing in the deep musky scent of Phil, and exhales. 

Catching sight of his chest, she gets up. Margaret knows that Phil stores all her letters in there, but she wonders if there might be something else. 

She knows the code--Phil had told her when they were ten. 

It opens with a click, and Margaret immediately sees that, indeed, all her letters are inside. She smiles, glad that Phil still treasures her words, and picks them up. And that's when she sees it. 

There are more letters scattered around--from their friends in far away kingdoms; Bethany, David, Molly, and Simon. 

But there is also a little notebook. Margaret picks it up, turning it's front page, and sees a rudimentary drawing of her. 

She remembers the day Phil drew this. They could not have been more than nine years old, lying down in the garden. In fact, looking back, she remembers this notebook being in Phil's hands many times. 

She flips through it, seeing pictures of herself, their friends, Cade, and even some servants. As the flips the pages, it's clear that Phil's drawing skills have been all but perfected with age. 

There's a drawing of Cade, a side view, sat on his throne and looking like the king. Every last detail is reflected perfectly on the paper. If Margaret had been told she was looking at a black and white photograph, she would have no doubt believed it. 

She turns the page, and is met with a face she does not recognize. Curly black hair, dirty cheeks, an intimidating expression in his dark eyes. 

Oh. So this is Dan. 

As she continues through the book, there are more and more pictures of him. He's handsome, no doubt, and Phil captures him beautifully. There are drawings of him lost to sleep, of him smiling under covers, of him looking guilty, of him looking scared. 

There's another boy who keeps appearing, one that Margaret is sure she knows but cannot put her finger on it. He's blonde, with straight hair, and in every picture he looks unruly and messy, lust in his half-closed eyes. 

Until there's one sketch of him sneering, eyes dark and mean. Nathaniel. 

Whenever Margaret came to visit Phil, Nathaniel had tormented them, teased them, even hurt them a couple times. She wonders when Phil has seen him looking vulnerable and messy. 

She turns the page again, seeing an unfinished drawing of Daniel. 

He stands in front of the mirror, his face unreadable. He wears a deep black tuxedo jacket, and his hands tinker with his tie. His legs are bare, as are his feet. It's clear that this was a moment that Phil was not meant to see. 

Footsteps sound in the hallway, and all of a sudden a figure walks through the door. 

Margaret reels around to see Nathaniel. Tear tracks stain his cheeks, his shirt is untucked, and his hair is messy. He recognizes Margaret, and his eyes widen. 

"Nathaniel?!"  
"Margaret...?"  
"Yes. What are you doing here?"  
"I live in the castle. What are _you_ doing here?"  
"I came to see Phil."  
"He's missing."  
"I know."

The two stare at each other for a second, then Nathaniel breaks the silence. 

"I'm sorry," he says. "I've been really mean to you in the past."

A beat of silence. 

Margaret wonders what prompted the boy to make this apology, why he looks so tired and sad. 

"I forgive you," she says instead of asking.

"What happened between them?" She asks.   
"Between who?"  
"Dan and Phil."  
"Oh."

They sit on the bed all morning as Nathaniel tells her everything, and Margaret listens, enraptured. 

As he finishes, Margaret shakes her head. 

"You saw them go off together last night?"  
"Yeah. Dan was flirting with him and everything."  
"But..."  
"I saw them again last night. They were standing in the courtyard with a servant. Phil was yelling at Dan."  
"Why?"  
"Who knows... But Dan definitely looked like he felt bad. Like he cared. I don't know."  
"Where did they go?"  
"Phil ran inside, probably trying to find Cade."  
"And Dan?"  
"...He followed him."

Margaret leans over to close Dan's closet door when she catches sight of a couple other pictures.

She pulls them down, Nathaniel looking over her shoulder, and she gasps. 

The first one is a picture of Phil in the mirror, much like the one he was drawing of Dan. He's wearing boxers, pulling his hands through his hair as he begins to button up his shirt. 

The second one is a picture of a slightly younger Phil, before Dan was here. He's on a horse, his head thrown back in laughter. The sun frames his figure and his hands rest lightly on the reins. 

The third is a picture of Phil from before even Margaret knew him. He stands in the garden, little hands reaching to pick flowers, his mother's hands around his waist. 

Nathaniel and Margaret look at each other. 

"How did he get these?" Margaret asks.   
"Who knows... but he has them."

"He must like him. He _must_."  
"He always has, Margaret. I think he just hates himself for it."

"Why would he--"  
"Who knows. The point is, they're star-crossed lovers or some shit, and they're missing."

"We better find them, then." Margaret says mischievously, and Nathaniel laughs. "The castle won't want us to."

"Since when have you cared about what the castle wants?" Margaret jeers. 

"Never have." Nathaniel gets out of bed, opens the window, and gestures down to the ivy below.

Margaret grins. 

Ten minutes later, they're swinging up onto the fastest horses that they can find, food in one bag and pictures in another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me up on tumblr @buzzlester
> 
> & if you'd like, read my other fics!


	21. Royal Captives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeet this is a good one

Dan wakes with a start. His vision is slightly blurry, and he has to blink a couple times for the scene around him to come into focus. He's lying in a clearing, in a place that he's never been before. 

He tries to bring his hand up to brush the hair out of his eyes, but apparently his hands are tied behind his back. Looking down towards his feet, Dan sees that they are binded as well. 

He rolls over on his side, and gasps through the cloth that's around his mouth. Phil lies behind him, either asleep or unconscious.

His face has scrapes all over it, and his once beautiful clothes are charred and burned. His hands and feet are tied together, and he has a gag in his throat. He looks awful, his hair falling unevenly across the sweat on his forehead. 

_Shit _.__

__Dan tries to move to a sitting position, but his body is weak and can't move well. He lies back, looks up, and breathes in. Dan has no idea how he and Phil got here, hell, he has no idea where 'here' even is._ _

__The last thing he remembers is... The lake... kissing Phil..._ _

__An intense guilt wraps around his lungs, and, like clockwork, the previous night floods back to him. Or what he thinks is the previous night--he's not exactly sure how much time has passed._ _

__-_ _

__Dan had gone into the burning castle after Phil. It was clear that he had completely lost the older boy's trust by pretending that he was in love with him. Dan knew that this would happen as soon as he agreed to lure Phil out of the castle, but hadn't expected how disgusted he would be by his own actions._ _

__And he was._ _

__Especially after what the servant had told him._ _

__As he ran up the wooden stairs, yelling Phil's name at the top of his lungs, his feelings had almost become apparent to him._ _

__He had zipped through the hallways, trying to outrun and dodge the huge flames, but he hadn't exactly succeeded. His calf had been burned first, as a piece of burning rubble had fallen from the ceiling and landed on him._ _

__Despite the pain curling up his leg, Dan had pushed on. He had continue to scream Phil's name, even when he felt like he was only breathing smoke in._ _

__And finally, after Dan had all but given up hope, he had gotten an answer._ _

__"Dan! Are you okay?"_ _

__Dan was not okay. He couldn't move, his arm had been burned along with his calf, and he was huddled in a corner. The air was toxic, thick with smoke, and Dan was coughing more than he was breathing._ _

__"Phil..." He had called out, too softly, but luckily the prince heard him._ _

__All at once, his form had appeared, illuminated in the frame. His face was full of worry, but Dan noticed that his expression was more guarded._ _

__"Dan, can you hear me?"_ _

__Dan wasn't sure if he could speak, so he tried to nod, but instead his head just drooped to his chest as he coughed weakly. Phil's arms had wrapped around his torso, and suddenly he was lifted up into the air. His lungs protested every breath._ _

__"It's alright, it's alright, just keep breathing."_ _

__Phil spoke softly and surely as he carried Dan through the halls, but Dan was losing breath fast. Finally, he dropped out of consciousness. When he came to, his eyes did not open. He could not see anything, but felt fresh air on his burned skin._ _

__He heard snippets of conversation as he drifted in and out._ _

__"I don't trust you."  
"Safe for now, but we--"  
"Who is that?"  
"Please don't, just let us go..."  
"They'll look for you, and you can't hide from the--"_ _

__-_ _

__Dan's heart threatens to burst. He had been so cruel and misleading towards Phil, then tried to blame him for it. And Phil had gone and rescued him from what would have been death._ _

__He rolls back over to look at Phil again, and feels an overwhelming urge to help the boy. Though Dan is sure that he's in the same state, Phil looks awful. The scrapes and burn marks that line his body look almost infected._ _

__Someone bound their hands and ankles, gagged them, and left them in this place._ _

__"Phil!" Dan tries to call, but only a small strangled noise makes it out of his throat. Something is wrong with his lungs, and his throat is raw. He tastes blood in the back of his mouth and even if he could form words the noise wouldn't be able to make it past the cloth in his mouth._ _

__So instead Dan is forced to wait for Phil to open his eyes. He lies on his side for hours, until he is sore and numb, and Phil still does not wake. Chills travel up Dan's spine as he realizes that Phil could be dead._ _

__But no. His chest is rising and falling, he's breathing, he's alive._ _

__And suddenly, Phil's eyes pop open and he takes a shuddering breath. Dan recognizes the look on his face--he's just woken up from a nightmare._ _

__Silenced, Dan is forced to watch as Phil tries to move, and listen to the whimper that escapes his throat as he realizes that his joints have been tied. Dan watches as Phil tries to sit up, to move his wrists outside of his ties, and to separate his legs._ _

__Finally, the older boy rolls over and sees Dan._ _

__He starts crying, and Dan tries to reassure him that he is okay, but his motions probably look more like he's in pain._ _

__He tries to talk to Phil around his gag, but he sounds crazy. Phil rolls over again, until he is pressed up against Dan's side, and his bound hands move up to rest on Dan's chest._ _

___Oh,_ Dan thinks, _he's feeling my heartbeat_. _ _

__"I'm alive," Dan tries to say, but it sounds like gibberish. Of course Phil knows that Dan is alive, he's just seen him move. His hands stay on Dan's chest, making sure that Dan stays that way._ _

__Dan brings his own hands up to rest on Phil's chest._ _

__Phil doesn't look at him, but his heartbeat quickens a bit. Dan looks down, his face flushing red. They don't talk or move, just focusing on each other's breaths and heartbeats and making sure that they stay alive._ _

__The sun rises in the sky, then begins to drop. Dan and Phil have no idea how long they've been in this clearing, but night is about to fall and the temperature in the air is dropping._ _

__Dan tries to untie his binds, but can't do it. He returns his hands to Phil's chest._ _

__Suddenly, they hear footsteps in the underbrush. Dan feels Phil's heartbeat quicken, and knows that his is doing the same. The boys have no idea where they are or who inhabits these woods--it could be a wild animal, or a cannibal, or--_ _

__A blonde figure walks out into the clearing, followed by two other men. They are all dressed in pristine crimson clothes._ _

__"Well, well, well, looks like our boys have cuddled up for the night!"_ _

__Dan rotates his head as much as he can to see the face of whomever spoke. His suspicions are confirmed, of course, when he sees Samuel smirking back down at him. The two men behind Samuel, also servants that Dan recognizes but can't remember the names of, laugh._ _

__Phil lets out a whimper that only Dan can hear, and he instinctively moves closer to the older boy in an attempt to calm both of their nerves._ _

__Dan stares up at their kidnapper, unable to move or speak. Samuel sits the boys up, leaning them against a tree as if they are puppets. With their hands and feet tied, they may as well be._ _

__The servants begin to build a fire as Dan and Phil lean into each other, their hands still on one another's chest._ _

__The gag in Dan's throat feels heavy as thousands of questions swarm his head._ _

__Their captors talk quietly amongst themselves as they make a fire. The sun drops below the horizon quickly, and soon the only light in the clearing is the orange glow of the embers._ _

__Phil's heartbeat slows and steadies, and Dan realizes at once that he is asleep. Something about it scares Dan, makes him feel like he has to face Samuel by himself even though he knows that Phil is right next to him._ _

__"I'm disappointed in you, Dan," Samuel says, his voice playful but with a hard edge._ _

__Dan feels helpless without control of his voice or limbs. He stares across the fire, making eye contact with Samuel and trying to look like he's less scares than he really is. Samuel laughs, and gets up to make his way around the fire._ _

__"Of course, how could I forget..." He says, shaking his head as he takes the cloth gag out of Dan's mouth._ _

__Dan's throat feels raw, and his lungs still feel suffocated, but breathing in fresh air without trouble makes Dan a lot less lightheaded._ _

__"Why are you doing this, Samuel?" He asks, and his voice sounds much lower and grainier than usual. Like Phil's.  
"Oh, Dan... You betrayed us!"  
"What? I did exactly what you asked! You're the one who-- the one who..."  
"Lit the castle on fire? Yes, that was us."_ _

__The servants behind Samuel laugh, and Dan's glare hardens._ _

__"What's wrong, Dan?" One of them calls out, "I thought you hated the royals!"  
"I--I don't _like_ them, but I-"  
"But you sure do like the prince, don't you?" Samuel jeers.   
"I don't understand what you're saying... Phil's... he's... I-"_ _

__Samuel returns to his place, the fire lighting up all three servants' faces with the same eerie glow._ _

__"You went after him, didn't you? You tried to save him!"  
"Was I just supposed to let him die?!"_ _

__The servant on Samuel's right scoffs as he shakes his head. "Yeah, actually, you were."  
"That was the whole point of the fire."  
"That wasn't part of the plan!"_ _

__"It was part of _our_ plan, which would have worked had you not interfered!"_ _

__Dan is silent, the cold making the hairs on his arm stand up. All he wants is comfort, but he can't lean into Phil when all three of the men are staring him down as though they will kill him if he makes one wrong move._ _

__And from what they just told him, he's not sure that they wouldn't._ _

__"Luckily, we made a backup plan. Which you, Dan, are a part of!"  
"I don't want to hurt--"  
"The royal family will do anything for the heir and his husband back, you'll find."_ _

__The three servants share smiles as they wait for Dan to decode their words._ _

__"But... Phil isn't the heir."  
"Well, he is now. You see, Cade may be a chief strategist, but he can't dodge every bullet. Literally."_ _

__Dan's jaw drops as tears spring to his eyes. Even though he's pretty sure his feelings for Cade never went deeper than lust, Dan is still horrified that he's dead. He has no idea how Phil will react when he hears the news._ _

__"Did you...?"  
"Shoot him? Yes. It was surprisingly easy, in fact."  
"And you watched him die."  
"Well... no. But he was trapped in the fire, and we watched the courtyards all night. Cade never came out."_ _

__Dan coughs, tears spilling down his cheeks. Phil's body heat is incredibly tempting in the night, especially since Dan is apparently sitting across from three psychopaths._ _

__"Luckily for us, Phil came out with you in his arms. It was cute really, you got carried right into our trap."_ _

__Dan buries his head in his bound hands, letting out a little whimper of defeat._ _

__"It's a shame, really. Your prince really does care for you. It's too bad that he'll never trust you after last night."  
"It doesn't matter, I don't even like-"  
"You're naïve, Dan. That's why we can take advantage of you so easily."  
"I'm not!"  
"Go to sleep, Dan. Take it from me, we'll be waking up very early tomorrow."_ _

__One of the servants pours water on the fire, and the glow is dispelled. Knowing that his captors won't be able to see him, he cuddles into Phil's side, rolling them over so that they lie pressed up against each other on the ground._ _

__He hears Phil murmur in his sleep, and a warm arm wraps around his chest protectively._ _

__Tears drip down Dan's face. He's unsure of where he is, where he's going, and what will happen to him._ _

__His feelings for Phil, however, are becoming increasingly clear. He leans back, his head pressed into the crook of Phil's neck. Phil sighs, soft and slow, and Dan starts crying again. Once Phil figures out about his brother, he will disown Dan. After all, if Dan hadn't lured him away from the castle and distracted him, Cade would still be alive._ _

__Phil will choose Cade over Dan, because Dan chose everything over Phil._ _

__This doesn't sit right in Dan's stomach. Finally, looking up at the stars, his wrists raw from rubbing against ropes, he understands that he needs Phil more than Phil needs him._ _

__He understands why he feels so protective of the older boy, and why he wants to be protected by him. He understands why he was so explosively angry when he figured out about Phil and Nathaniel, and why he felt so irrevocably sad when he saw Phil crying alone._ _

__He understands why, when he thought he was going to die, his first instinct was to call Phil's name._ _

__"Phil?" Dan whispers so quietly that he can't even hear it himself._ _

__Dan is unsure how to phrase his feelings, how to finally admit what he needs to himself._ _

__"I think you saved me beyond the fire." He finally says, leaning back further into Phil's chest. And while Dan knows that there's no way the older boy heard his words, he swears that Phil's arm tightens around his torso._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...21 chapters later i bring you the fan service you desire 
> 
> follow me on tumbley: @buzzlester !
> 
> & check out my other fics if you like this one because i'm thirsty for hits


	22. Royal Bird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyello its late but still gr8 (mayb)

He wakes up with a pain so great that it cannot be described in words. The world around him is black, with only a tiny fragment of daylight shining into--wherever he is. 

He is practically immobile. He tries to pick up his arm and pain wraps around his shoulder like tendrils. A gasp escapes his lips. 

Is this where he will meet his untimely end? Buried in a pile of who knows what, not even able to call for help? Not even sure if he helped anybody before he ended up here? 

He takes a deep breath, his throat depressingly dry, and his body shudders involuntarily. 

Using an incredible amount of willpower, he moves his foot. Something above him shifts the smallest bit. _He will get out_.

-

Phil has fallen. His body lies sprawled out on the ground of the forest, blood stinging his throat. He tries to scramble up, but before he can, strong arms push him back down again. 

His lungs feel crushed and deflated, his arms and legs weak, and yet still he continues to try to get up. 

He turns around to see that the arms on the other man belong to Dan, who wears a smug expression on his face and a hardness in his jaw. He sneers. Phil sits up, barely, and Dan smashes him back down. 

Pain shoots up his neck and into his head. 

The sky opens up, curling and wrapping, and Phil wakes up to see the same face who was just pushing him in his dream. 

He gasps despite himself, pulling back. But Phil's arms are bound, as are his legs, and his gasp cannot be heard through the gag in his throat. Nevertheless, his stirring wakes Dan, who turns over with little effort. 

Half-awake, the younger boy wraps his arms around Phil's neck and nuzzles into his chest. 

Part of Phil is sated--a bigger, more apparent part of him warns him that this is wrong. Dan is not allowed to hug him, Dan is not allowed to rest in his chest. As he becomes more and more awake, Phil remembers exactly why is so repulsed with Dan. 

Dan, who had lead him on for selfish reasons, Dan who had lied to him, Dan who had never been in love, Dan who would never stop toying with his fucking emotions. 

He pushes Dan away as best he can with his hands bound, and the brunet's eyes shoot open. He searches Phil's face with confusion in his eyes. 

"Phil?" He says, his throat raw but no longer gagged. 

Phil does not speak, motioning slightly at his gag. 

"Oh... Are you okay?"

Again, Phil does not respond. Dan's expression changes to one of concern, however, and so Phil simply shakes his head. 

No, he is not okay. How could he be? He has no idea where he is, he's been betrayed by someone who he had been in love with for so long, and he was still incredibly worried about his family and friends back home. 

"Of course you aren't..." Dan concedes, and moves his slightly smaller to cuddle into Phil. 

Again, Phil pushes him away. 

Dan looks up, confused and slightly scared. "Phil, have I done something?"

Phil struggles to speak around the gag, but he has to get the words out. His words are garbled, drawn out and messy, but he knows that Dan understands. 

"You said you loved me."

Dan nods vigorously, reaching out his bound arms to touch Phil's skin, who flinches. 

"I do, I swear, I do."  
"Don't...believe you."

Dan nods, receding slightly. "You shouldn't. But... I do."

The boys lie on the uncomfortable ground, staring at each other in silence. Dan's face is wiped with dirt and blood, and Phil knows that he probably looks very similar. The sun hangs high in the sky, and he can feel his skin burning. 

"Good morning, love birds!" He hears a condescending voice and looks up to see that one of Samuel's men, Saturn, stands over him. 

Phil tries his best to glare, but he's sure he just looks helpless. Saturn pulls Dan and Phil up and props them against the tree. He pulls out Phil's gag, leaving his throat so painfully raw that Phil doesn't even try to speak. 

Samuel and the third man, Reagan, crash through the trees, throwing wood on the small fire. They untie the bonds on Dan and Phil's feet, warning them that if they try to run they will be found and killed. 

The morning is tense, flames licking the sky, Dan and Phil rubbing their wrists and ankles and drinking as much water as their captors will allow them. As the sun drops in the sky, Samuel reties the bonds on their feet and leaves their hands free. 

"So you can still get each other off while we sleep," he laughs snidely. 

Dan looks down, blushing, but Phil looks Samuel in the eye with the angriest glare he can muster. 

"Oh, Prince, are you denying that you two are in love?"

Phil speaks for the first time in two days, his throat in pain but his tones unwavering. "We aren't in love."  
"Oh, aren't you?" Reagan laughs.   
"I hate Dan." Phil says simply, and he feels the other boy flinch beside him. 

"Hmm, unrequited love sure does hurt, yes Dan?"

Phil doesn't know exactly what Samuel means by that--he knows himself that Dan doesn't love him. (He knows himself just how much unrequited love hurts).

"I mean, you can't expect Phil to feel anything for you after what you did to his brother!" Saturn jokes, and Dan flinches again, letting out a small whine as if someone struck him across the cheek. 

Phil's head snaps up, and his gaze searches the three captors that stand, sneering in front of him. 

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Reagan laughs snidely. Phil shakes his head. 

"Cade died in that fire--if Dan hadn't lead you away it wouldn't have happened. Hell, if you hadn't saved Dan from the fire it wouldn't have happened either!"

Phil sinks to the ground, the world spinning around him. 

Cade wasn't dead - _he could not be_.

-

When the boys were five, Phil looked up to Cade more than anyone else. He would follow his brother around the gardens and the castle, requesting to his maidservants that he, too, should wear a black cape. 

He would copy Cade's manner of speaking and walking, carefully making sure that he acted similarly. It was somewhat of an inside joke around the castle, the heir and his "mini-me". 

Cade loved the attention, but more than that he loved the unconditional love and affection from his brother. Cade knew he had a friend in Phil and would have a friend in him forever. 

The brothers grew up and grew different. Cade continued wearing his capes and his cold exterior, always looking plotting and mysterious, and Phil began to pick flowers and yearn to go to the stables. 

But however much they grew apart, Cade and Phil had a bond that nobody could deny. They would have dinner together every Sunday night. Sometimes they talked about Cade's meetings or the flowers in the gardens, sometimes they talked about their dreams and expectations, sometimes they exchanged not a word. 

Possibly the worst thing about all the drama that had happened between the royals ever since Dan arrived was the end of those dinners.

Cade was a force, he seemed to be unstoppable. He was cool and calculating--but selfless. He was the perfect picture of the heir, and Phil had always been able to perfectly picture him as the king. 

More than the king, however, Phil had always pictured him as the older brother. No matter how bad things got, no matter if they stopped speaking altogether, Cade would always be Phil's rock. 

He can't be dead. He _can't_ be. Phil is not cut out to be king. Phil is not cut out to be a leader. 

Phil isn' t sure if he can even go back to the castle without his brother. 

-

He blinks, the world coming back into focus, and the first thing he hears are desperate cries in a voice that he recognizes. 

"Stop it! Let me--just let me -!"  
"Oh, come on, he said so himself! He hates you, Dan."  
"It doesn't matter! He could really be hurt, Samuel, I have to make sure he's--"  
"He'll be fine."

Phil opens his eyes, seeing Dan's tear streaked face is being held back by sturdy arms. He looks drooped and weak, and Phil stirs, if only to sate him. 

"See? He's fine, Howell."

Dan looks up into Phil's now-open eyes, and lets out a little noise. Reagan pushes him over and he scrambles over to Phil, his hands wandering up Phil's arms and looking into his unreadable eyes. 

"You okay?" He mouths. 

"Is he?"  
"Is... who?"  
"Is Cade... is he dead?" Phil asks, and he trembles, afraid that he won't be able to cope with the answer.   
"I'm-I'm so sorry. I had no idea that..."

The world around Phil stops spinning for half a second. A tear, unbidden, falls down his cheek. He feels exhausted, like a weight is pressing down on his head. 

He is too tired to push Dan away again, especially when the arms that wrap around him and the head that falls on top of his are so comforting. 

Distantly, almost warped, he hears someone's voice. "Sleep well, lovebirds. We have a lot of walking to do tomorrow!"

He closes his eyes, falling asleep to shaky breaths in his ear. 

-

In his dream, an injured bird falls from the sky. 

It rests in his hand, and he protects it, and it heals so that it can fly away. But it doesn't. It stays by Phil's side, and never leaves. They become inseparable, and one day, the bird speaks. 

"I'm sorry," it says.

_Sorry for what?_

"I'm yours," it says, "I've always been yours."

Phil must be half-awake, because the bird's voice is vey similar to one he knows. 

He wakes with a start in the middle of the night to see that Dan has grabbed fistfuls of his tattered tuxedo jacket and that his face is shiny with tears. Worry strikes him in the heart, making his arms pull up to wrap around the younger boy's back. 

"Dan?" He asks, his voice drawly with sleep.   
"It's okay... Go back to sleep."

And so he does. And once again, the bird flies back to him with broken wings. And once again, Phil fixes them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on tungle dot hell if you wanna : @buzzlester!
> 
> i write other shit that mayb you should check out if you like this


	23. Innkeeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise

They walk. 

They walk for days, which turn into weeks, and don't even know where they are going. 

Finally, the woods end, and they come upon a town. Samuel unties Dan and Phil's hands and feet before they enter so as not to raise suspicions. 

The plan is clear. They will rest in the town for a couple days. Their captors will send a messenger back to the castle to deliver an anonymous letter to the king and queen. the letter will include the details of the ransom - the amount of money that the royals will have to pay and how they should go about doing so. 

If they pay the ransom, which Samuel seems confident that they will, Dan and Phil will be let free and have to somehow make it back to the castle by themselves. 

If they don't, Dan and Phil will continue to be practically tortured until they find a way to convince the royals to give in. 

Dan and Phil do not speak anymore. 

Dan used to spend as much time as he could attempting to convince Phil that he really is in love with him. 

Phil is too bitter, too deeply distrusting of Dan, to believe him. Eventually, Dan resigns himself to silence. 

Red marks and gashes stay on their skin like tattoos even days after the binds are taken off. Dan and Phil stay in a locked, dusty inn room all day and all night. There is only one window, and it is unbreakable, with iron bars instead of glass. To their credit, Samuel and his men have done a good job ensuring that the boys won't escape. Their resolve is beyond repair. 

Phil spends most of his time laying on his side on the tiny bed. He stares at the wall, thinking of his lost brother, of his parents, of his friends. Part of him wants to forgive Dan, to believe him. It would be so much easier if they were in this together. 

Except this entire situation is Dan's fault. Dan was the one who involved himself in a plan that ending up with the killing of people who Phil loved and the destruction of the castle which Phil had grown up in. 

Dan spends his time staring out of the window. He watches the people go about their day, wishing that he was one of them. He wishes a lot of things, actually. He wishes that he had realized his feelings for Phil when they would have mattered. He wishes that he had refused to carry out the plan. He wishes, honestly, that he could go back to being the stable boy whose worst fear was that he wouldn't be able to brush a horse in time. 

The first couple nights, Dan had tried to get into the bed with Phil, but the prince had made it clear that this was not an option. 

Dan slept on the couch, finding himself waking up on the floor more often than not. 

Today is a particularly slow Sunday evening. On Saturdays, there's a market in the square and every bustles around, chatting with their neighbors and friends. On Sundays, much less people are out in the streets. Dan supposes they are sleeping in late, eating big breakfasts, and having a nice day at home before the week begins again. If only his life could be as simple. 

A girl on horseback rides through the streets. Her long hair is pulled back into a messy braid, and she looks messy, as if she hasn't slept for days on end. 

But she wears a coat of arms on the shoulder of her simple armor. Her horse is well groomed, tall and royal looking. Dan would assume that she was from the castle that he and Phil had left behind, but that was not Grenada's coat of arms. 

He almost asks Phil who she is, and then remembers that he wouldn't get an answer.

She ties her horse up and walks up to the innkeeper, who is standing on the stairs. 

She speaks, her mouth moving animatedly along with her hands, but Dan can't hear what she says. When the innkeeper goes and unties her horse, however, it's clear that she's staying at the inn for the night. 

Moving his ear to the window, he hears her say her name. 

"Margaret."

Somehow, Dan thinks that he has heard that name before. He turns around to see that Phil is looking at him instead of looking at the wall. They make eye contact, and Phil looks down at the covers. 

Dan clears his throat. 

Phil turns back over. 

Dan knows that what he did was awful. But he had spent every day since then apologizing, and then leaving Phil alone at his own request. He had been sleeping on the floor, regretting everything, and still Phil wouldn't even listen to a word out of his mouth. 

Dan sits down on the bed. He waits for Phil to tell him to get off, but the other boy doesn't make a sound. He breathes in, gathering his nerves. It's stupid that he's this afraid to ask Phil a harmless question, but Phil has been very clear about how much he abhors Dan. 

"Do you-did you-know anybody named Margaret, Phil?"

Phil turns over immediately, and Dan gets up off the bed. 

"Yeah..." Phil says, sounding unsure. His eyes are wide, though, like Dan had just spoiled a surprise. 

"Who... Who is she?"  
"Uh, she's a friend of mine. A princess. We were going to get married, actually."

Oh. Dan looks down. He remembers another royal talking with Phil about this. "Did you... love her?" 

He isn't really sure why he asks the question. It's not like it would change anything between the boys. 

Phil snorts. "No. We were friends. But we both thought that it beat marrying someone we didn't know." Phil looks up and meets Dan's eyes. The message is clear - Phil would rather be with anyone than Dan. 

"She's, uh... Well, I think she just checked in to the inn," Dan says, turning around to look out the window. Phil makes a noise of surprise behind him.   
"Are you sure?"  
"Well, she was wearing a coat of arms. Looked royal to me."

Phil gets out of the bed and comes to stand next to Dan. Their shoulders touch. Phil rests his hands on the windowsill, staring outside and hoping to catch a glimpse of his friend. She is already inside, but Phil's eyes widen when he sees the horse that she tied up. 

"That's Meri! That's her horse!" this is the most happy that Dan has seen Phil since they left the castle. 

"We have to see, her, Dan. She could get us out of here!"   
"How? Our room is locked."  
"Well, we can wait until she leaves and try to get her attention from the window!"

Dan isn't sure that this is anywhere close to a smart plan. In all probability, nobody will be able to hear them from the streets. If Samuel saw them trying to get someone's attention, Dan is sure he would do something awful. But Phil smiles at Dan, smiles at him for the first time since the night of the dance, and Dan finds himself agreeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short one but hey it's been awhile yeah? 
> 
> so basically where im at is that im definitely going to finish this but it might be a couple weeks betwene updates instead of just one because im spending most of my time writing my new fic which is very exciting! i love you all and have missed writing <33 glad to be back! what do you think about this


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